TNA Impact Report – 5/24/16

It’s May Mayhem night here on Impact! We look back at the out of control schmozz that ended last week’s show before running down tonight’s card, including Ethan Carter III taking on Matt Hardy!

Speaking of Matt Hardy, he comes meandering out to the ring with his new Bozo the Clown haircut and Seth Rollins blond streak. He has evolved, he’s gotten stronger, better, and more dangerous. The fans want Jeff, but Matt ignores them and talks about his match with Ethan Carter III tonight. He doesn’t see EC3 as anything more than a warmup match for when he faces Brother Nero at Slammiversary, because he has a contract for Slammiversary in a Full Metal Mayhem match, and this will be the match where he deletes Brother Nero once and for all. When he signs this contract, he’s signing Brother Nero’s death certificate. Spud and Tyrus come out to the ring, and Spud says he believed in the Iconic Matt Hardy, and he dedicated his life to him and to the Brand, to his wife Reby, to his son Maxel, and he’s been a better man for it. The fans tell Spud he still sucks, but Spud says this isn’t him because, since he and Jeff have been fighting, the fans have been egging him on, and he doesn’t care about the fans, he only cares about Matt Hardy. If Matt keeps fighting Jeff and turning into whatever he’s turning into, this isn’t him. Matt says he’s getting better, and he must delete Brother Nero once and for all because he forced his hand. Matt asks Tyrus how he feels, and Tyrus says he does what’s best for him, and if Matt wound up looking like this after fighting him last time…Matt tells Tyrus to keep sharing his feeling, and Spud says if he faces Jeff at Slammiversary, this is just going to get worse. Matt says his brother must be destroyed, so if Brother Nero has the courage, he’ll face both of them in a ladder match, and he’ll hang the contract above the ring. If Jeff wins, the match is on, but if Tyrus and Spud destroy him and win, he won’t have the match. But if Spud and Tyrus fail, they will no longer be able to associate with him. EC3 comes out for his introduction, and the next match on his redemption tour begins after this commercial break!

Ethan Carter III vs Matt Hardy

We’re back, and the bell rings to start us off. EC3 looks really amused by what’s happened to Matt, but Matt attacks him with a fury, hammering him with a continuous stream of forearms. EC3 fires back and takes Matt out with a clothesline, but Matt turns the tide and gains control with a rolling neckbreaker. Matt gouges at EC3’s face and punts him in the ribs before covering for 2. Matt dumps EC3 to the floor, they brawl around ringside, then Matt maintains control as they come back inside and drops a leg on EC3 for 2. EC3 starts firing back with clotheslines and back elbows, but Mike Bennett comes down the ramp to observe as Matt rolls EC3 up for 2, then hits a Side Effect for 2. Bennett looks on with anticipation as Matt goes for the Twist of Fate, but EC3 turns that around into a flapjack, and suddenly Bennett doesn’t looks so confident. Matt escapes the 1%, goes for a Twist of Fate, EC3 escapes that and reverses to the cobra clutch, and Bennett runs in and attacks EC3 to cause a DQ.

Winner by DQ: Ethan Carter III

Bennett continues the assault after the bell, repeatedly hitting running boots to Ethan’s head before hitting a ripcord right hand and then flattening EC3 with a cradle piledriver. Bennett stands over EC3 with a mic and says just like that, his road to redemption came to a screeching halt. He said EC3 had to follow every single rule he laid out, and he accomplished the first two tasks, but he needed to pin or submit Matt Hardy, and he did neither. He hates to be the bearer of bad news, but EC3 will not get his rematch at Slammiversary. Bennett drops the mic as I have this funny feeling like the match is going to happen anyway somehow.

Maria Kanellis and Allie are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!

Mike Bennett is in the parking lot, and he says we just saw art out there, and you don’t explain art. He took EC3’s hopes, wants, and dreams, rolled them into a ball, threw in all the demonds from his past, and turned it into an idea that Billy Corgan loved. He made it clear that EC3 had to follow the rules, and he did until tonight. There’s no rematch at Slammiversary, and he wants EC3 to look himself in the mirror and realize he’s never going to face him again.

Allie is in the ring asking everyone for their attention, because she is the apprentice to the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, a nd now she gives to us Maria Kanellis-Bennett! Maria comes sauntering out to the ring and snatches the mic out of Allie’s hands and says that she is the leader of the Knockouts Division, and as such, she has a very important job: to make sure that her vision is getting out there to the fans. Sometimes she’ll check social media (the fans chant tht they want Velvet), and she realizes that the fans love Velvet Sky. The fans reassure Maria that yes, they do indeed, but Maria fired her and she’s gone because she is part of the Knockouts past, and she is building a brighter future. Gail Kim comes out to the ring and tells Maria thst she’s starting to sound like a broken record, and she’s fed up with Maria and how she got control of the division. Maria says she does sound like a broken record that probably should’ve been thrown out a long time ago, but she’s probably just upset about her friend Velvet. Gali says damn right she is because the fans loved her, but Maria says she’s the leader of the Knockouts Division, and from the moment she got here, Gail told her to get her boots on and fight. That’s what she did, and she beat Gail and gained control of the division, so this is her world and Gail is just living in it. Gail may be living in her world, but that doesn’t mean she has to play by her rules. Maria tells her to try and see what happens, because there are rules here. She’s not going to stoop to Gail’s level and wrestle her, but Gail gave her a grand idea: she’ll get the same deal as Velvet: she has a match tonight, and if she wins she can stay, but if she loses, she is fired. Gail says she has no problem with the match, but she prays that the opponent is Maria. Maria says that’s not gonna happen because she’s a lady, and she doesn’t get her hands dirty. Suddenly, Sienna runs out of the crowd and attacks Gail from behind. Gail is up and firing back on Sienna, but Sienna f’ing LAUNCHES her through the ropes and at Maria’s feet. Sienna goes out to join Maria and Allie at ringside as Gail gives them dirty looks.

Mahabali Shera is backstage thanking Grado for being there for him, but Grado thanked him for being his friend. Al Snow thinks they don’t belong here, but Grado is going to prove to everyone that they belong here. Grado knows tht Al Snow likes to bring weapons, so he reaches into his tights and pulls out…HIS LUNCH! No wait, he has a CHAIN, and he’s going to use it to bash Al Snow!

Robbie is backstage on his phone calling Jessie, and then Jessie is on the other side of the curtain ignoring what Robbie is saying to high five other wrestlers and take selfies with fans. Robbie thinks they need a guru, and then he notices Jessie on the other side of the curtain and says the guru is gonna work.

Gail is backstage, and she’s ANGRY that Maria just strolls in here, takes over the division, and costs Velvet Sky her job. That’s not going to happen to her because she’s fought too long and hard to let this happen.

We see a video package of the history between Grado, Mahabali Shera and Al Snow, and then we go back to the arena where Al Snow comes out for his streetfight with Grado. He says he never thought Grado was dumb enough to ask for a streetfight with him, the Crown Prince of Hardcore, and if the fans want chairs, tables, and ladders…they’re not going to get it because he’s a wrestler and his fists are all he needs. The fans can boo him all they want, but he’s their mom’s favorite wrestler. Snow hides to the side of the entryway and blindsides Grado as he comes out of the back, choking him with his wrist tape, and snapmares Grado down the ramp. Snow rams Grado into the ring steps, hammers him with right hands, and smashes his injured hand into the steps. He rolls Grado into the ring and the bell tolls to officially start…

Streetfight: Al Snow vs Grado

Snow puts the boots to Grado and drills him with a big right hand before bosyslamming him and heading to the top for a moonsault. Grado gets out of the way and Snow eats mat. He goes into his tights for a handful of powder, but Grado kicks it up into his face, big boots Snow, and then Mahabali Shera comes out with the New Jack Collection in a trash can. Grado hammers Snow with a trash can lid and a cookie tin, then Shera tosses…GRADO’S LUNCH INTO THE RING! It’s a big honey BBQ chicken leg, and Grado takes a big bite before chicken legging Snow in the ding ding. Shera hands Grado the chain, he wraps it around his fist, and knocks Snow into next week, but then a couple of guys I don’t recognize run out and attack Grado and Shera, allowing Snow to hit the Snowplow for the win.

Winner: Al Snow

Snow celebrates his huge win with his buddies like he just won the World Title.

Bobby Lashley is backstage, and he’s…WALKING! So is Drew Galloway! We’ll find out what’s up with them after this break!

Reby Sky and Maxel find Matt Hardy backstage, and she says everyone is just trying to help him, but Matt says the only thing that’ll help him is the removal of Brother Nero. She says to forget about Jeff and come back to his family, but Matt says his family is what caused this. Reby says that she and Maxel are his family and holds their son up in front of him, but Matt just gets up and walks away.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring reminding us of what happened at the end of last week’s main event and the chaos that ensued. Since there was no conclusive winner, Impact officials have been meeting all week long, and…wait, here comes Bobby Lashley, and I bet he wants another title shot! He kicks Borash out of the ring and takes his mic, and says the only fair thing to do is give him the World Title right now. He’s never had 20 idiots break into a brawl and have his match thrown out before, and he’s the only legitimate fighter on this roster. Drew Galloway comes out, and he don’t look happy. Drew says bullying announcers must be what makes him legitimate, but you can tell a lot about a man by looking in his eye. Lashley has that killer instinct, he walks into a room and everyone knows he’s the baddest guy there, but Drew saw something else last week: he saw fear. Not fear of Drew, but fear that he’s never been in the ring with anyone like Drew Galloway, who got up from everything Lashley threw at him. Lashley says Drew knows what would have happened if that brawl didn’t break out, but Drew says he’s an impatient man, and quite frankly, he’s never been accused of making the smartest decisions. Also, there’s nothing between them but ropes and air, so he says why wait? Lashley’s ready to go, but Dixie Carter comes out to the top of the ramp and calls them gentlemen, and uses that term loosely. All those men were around the ring last week because of this constant brawling, and after hearing this little exchange, they finally came up with a decision that’ll fix this once and for all: they’ll face off one more time, on June 12th on PPV in the main event of Slammiversary. One of them will walk out the undisputed World Champion, but it’ll only happen by knockout or tapout. Drew heads to the back, and Lashley tells him to go ahead and walk away like a little bitch, but Drew comes back to the ring and turns Lashley inside out with a Claymore kick and then hammers him with punches until security comes out to pull Drew off. He fights them both off and turns around into a spear from Lashley, and now Lashley gets on top of Drew and hammers him with punches until security pulls him off of Drew. Lashley fights them off and spears a referee, then chokes Drew out with his wrist tape. Lashley finally releases Galloway and soaks in the boos from the crowd.

We see a video package of Ultimate X, and when we come back, the Ultimate X thing is rigged up over the ring for our next match!

X Division Title/Ultimate X: Eddie Edwards vs Trevor Lee vs DJ Z vs Andrew Everett

Trevor and Everett are, of course, accompanied by Gregory Shane Leroy Aziz Shaun Frederick Gary Helms. Eddie and DJ Z take the Helms Dynasty out with stereo dives, then DJ Z gets the advantage and goes for the belt. Everett takes him out and goes for the belt, but Trevor drags him down and they start arguing until Helms calms them down. Trevor stands on Everett’s shoulders to go for the belt, but DJ Z and Edwards break that up and Eddie starts to rally against all three opponents. Eddie hits a double super Frankensteiner on Trevor and Everett and then he goes for the belt, but Trevor drags him down right into a kneelift. Now Trevor goes for the belt, DJ Z hits a leaping super DDT on him, and now DJ Z goes for the belt. Everett drills him with a springboard enziguiri, Eddie goes up for the belt and Everett tries another one, but Eddie boots him off the cables and gets the belt! The referee is distracted by Helms though, so Lee runs over and yanks the belt out of Eddie’s hands just as the referee turns around, sees Lee with the belt, and calls for the bell.

Winner: Trevor Lee

I’m not a fan of spotfests, but if you are, this was probably up your alley.

Maria is backstage with her staff and says she chose them for a reason. Sienna says they believe, but Gail doesn’t, and she’s been a part of this division for far too long. Maria chose Sienna because she is bigger, stronger, and faster.

Ethan Carter III is backstage saying that if Mike Bennett wants to play games, even rigged ones, he’s been playing rigged games all his life. There’s honor in taking men to their limits, but there’s no honor in reneging on a deal. If Bennett wants to play this game, he’ll make a phone call he doesn’t want to make, but he’ll make it because he doesn’t fail.

Sienna vs Gail Kim

Gail goes right after Sienna off the bell, taking Sienna’s legs out and hitting a clothesline for 2. Gail with a top rope bodypress for 2, then continues to unload with shots and headscissors Sienna over the top rope. Gail is fired up as she goes after Sienna with a fury on the outside, but she makes the mistake of going after Maria and gets blindsided by Sienna. Sienna drops Gail on the guardrail, then rolls her back into the ring and hammers Gail with forearms before choking her with her boot. Sienna with a running Samoan drop for 2, whips Gail hard into the corner, then does it again for good measure. Gail slips out of a powerslam attempt and hits an Impaler, she tries to go to the top rope, but Maria yanks her down to the floor, then rolls her back inside where Sienna goes for the bodybagh, but Gail rolls through and sunset flips Sienna for the win.

Winner: Gail Kim

Maria looks really unhappy with that one, and she runs into the ring and goes after Gail. Gail gets ahold of Maria, but Sienna runs interference before Gail can unload on Maria, laying her out and then cheering Maria on as she gets on top of Gail and punches and chokes her with a fury.

Spud is backstage telling Tyrus that they have Jeff Hardy outnumbered, and Tyrus is the biggest and baddest man he knows, but he’s the fastest and he’ll scurry up that ladder and get the contract. Tyrus tells him to calm down, but Spud says they need to do this for Matt. Reby comes in and says they need to do it for her and Maxel, and Matt has taken care of them, and they need to fix this. Reby says this family has been destroyed, and they need to fix this and destroy Jeff Hardy.

The Bromans are at the gym, they tear their shirts off, and they’re looking for a guru. The guru comes in and introduces herself as Raquel (Hey, that’s the girl who felt Bobby Lashley’s pain!), and she heard that they want to win the tag title. She can help them, and they can question her, but now they can go work out. They’re not sure how Raquel’s going to help them win the title, but we flash forward to the end of the workout where they’re all worn out. Raquel is so proud of them, but now we’ll work on focus and she’ll see them at the pool. Okay then!

Next week, it’s Pick Your Poison as Bobby Lashley and Drew Galloway pick each other’s opponents, but right now, IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME!

Ladder Match: Jeff Hardy vs Tyrus & Rockstar Spud

Spud jumps Hardy on his way to the ring, but Hardy rams him into the ringpost and then tries to go for the ladder under the ring, but Tyrus plows over him and then gouges at his face. Tyrus charges Hardy, but Hardy moves and Tyrus goes into the ringpost. Hardy pitches a chair at Tyrus’ back and finally gets the ladder and sends it into the ring as we go to commercial.

We’re back, and Spud is taking the inverted atomic drop/double legdrop to the crotch/diving dropkick combo. Tyrus grabs the ladder to keep Jeff from setting it up, and yanks it so hard he pulls Hardy face first into the ropes. Now Tyrus and Spud are in control, and Tyrus mocks Jeff’s dancing as he continues destroying Jeff with size-based offense. Jeff dodges an avalanche and Tyrus crushes Spud, but Tyrus maintains control with a bodybag on Jeff. Tyrus sets up the ladder and says he’ll climb it and win this match, and this I gotta see. Tyrus breaks one of the steps (he had to stomp pretty hard to break it, but we’ll humor him here), and stares in disbelief before trying in vain to climb again. Jeff comes in and hits a Twist of Fate as Spud scurries past Jeff and climbs up the ladder. Jeff goes up the other side and fights Spud off by repeatedly smashing his face into the top of the ladder and giving him a Twist of Fate on the top of the ladder. They both tumble to the mat, but Jeff quickly sets the ladder back up, climbs, and gets the contract.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

And the match between Matt and Jeff is on for Slammiversary! He gets a Sharpie marker from somewhere, signs the contract, and has his hand raised by the referee as Matt stands at the top of the ramp staring his brother down. Oh yeah, and now Spud and Tyrus can’t hang out with Matt anymore.

Source: PWInsider

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  • Show Comments

  • WWE SUCKS!

    I am the leader of the GWO GAY WORLD ORDER. All gays bow to me and suck my tiny cock. LOL!

  • Nick

    Well look, the tool is telling us how gay he is again. We already know how gay you are you faggot ass bitch. Fucking tool

  • Nick

    I MADE GWO!
    I HAVE A 5 1/2 INCH COCK
    I LOVE WWE
    I LOVE MEN WITH HARD PECS, ABS AND A FAT LONG COCK
    I LOVE THIS PRO WWE WEBSITE
    AND ANY MEN WANT TO PINCH AN INCH HOLLA ATCHA BOY!

    GWO
    THE STABLE
    NICK
    JOE
    CHRIS
    SAL
    PETER
    BOB
    THE SHOOTER
    WE FUCK DUDES ALL DAY EVERYDAY

    I LOVE SWEET COCKS AND LOOSE ASSHOLE RINKS

    MEN FAKE FIGHTING IN PANTIES IS HOT SHIT! THANK GOD NO ONE EVER GETS HURT!

    oh my god has any boys seen VKM in that muscular fitness mag? Holy smokes what a body on that dilf!

    *** BROUGHT TO YOU FROM GWO**

  • Big Boy

    Well this has got to be the best build up to a PPV that TNA has done for years. Let’s hope they can actually deliver on it.

  • Truth

    I watched tna and thought it was one of their better shows…..then I realized I was watching a test pattern for two hours…..couldn’t really tell the difference though.

    So now matt hardy is seth rollins before and since seth rollins isn’t doing it anymore, now he is what???? seth hardy???? is he V2 yet????

    Now I get it…..matt hardy is V2 and it goes with the new theme…..wcw V2…..yeah, great plan there…….

    🙁 = tna

  • TNA RULES!

    Wow! A actually objective person on here, who actually watches the show, and has something intelligent to say about it. Not like these other loser’s in here, who wouldn’t know good wrestling, if it hit them in the face. Yeah this has been a great build to Slammiversary, and it’s only half way there, but the card is shaping up nicely.

  • TNA RULES!

    Wow! For a person who calls themselves truth, you sure are stupid, and wouldn’t know the truth if it slapped you in the face. How the fuck is Matt Hardy copying Seth Rollins? Because he put a gray streak in his hair? I thought Seth’s was blonde, not grey, but whatever. Is Seth acting like a depressed goth, because his bother broke him? Does Seth talk with a weird accent, like Matt is now? Nope, pretty sure that never happened with Seth, so how is Matt copying him? Reading what happened is not watching the show, so you didn’t watch shit. You’re a fucking liar. Truth! LOL!

  • Chris

    I watched it and it was pretty bad. Everything about it was shit. If you think it’s actually good wrestling then you seriously are pretty stupid as well. Matt Hardy is a goof. There is nothing good about that segment or anything. There are so many better promotions out there.

  • TNA RULES!

    I am the leader of the GWO GAY WORLD ORDER. All the gays bow to me and suck my tiny cock. LOL!

  • Big Boy

    Ok so no TNA is not the best promotion out there and does not have the best wrestling matches but I remain hopeful that in time it will be in a good place, it’s kind of reminding me of the good old days at the minute, a lot of new upcoming wrestlers making their name and helping a product grow. The only problem is they’re struggling to get any veteran wrestlers and are having to rely fully on the new kids (apart from the Hardyz) but hey let’s see what happens. There’s a lot of promise there at the minute, let’s see if they can deliver.

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