TNA Impact Report – 10/27/16

Note: I started a little late, and my DVR seems to have cut off the first 20 minutes or so of the show. I checked and it looks like all I missed was Aron Rex & Eli Drake beating Jessie Godderz & EC3 when Rex used a loaded fist to knock out Godderz, and also Maria cut a backstage promo bagging on Brandi for needing Cody around before Cody came in and chased her off. I apologize for the inconvenience, but on with the show!

We see some kids going trick or treating at the Matt Hardy Compound, and then we go to Rockstar Spud, who says he’s tired of being overlooked. He’s got a great team, and DJ Z is going to regret leaving him out of Team X Gold.

Grado comes out to the ring and he says he’s having the time of his life here, but he wants more, and tonight, he wants to bring out a guy who has been so inspirational to him. This person is a legend and a future TNA Hall of Famer, he’s got the best pep talks in the game today: Robbie E! Grado calls Robbie out a few times before he finally comes out, and Robbie says this is a little weird, bro, but Grado says that you can be anybody you want at Halloween, so tonight, he wants to be a Broman for Halloween! Grado runs off backstage, but Robbie says you can’t just be a Broman within a few minutes, it takes years. Robbie tells Grado to get back out here, but Grado takes a hot moment before coming back out in Broman tights, spray tan smeared all over himself, and wearing Robbie E sunglasses. He reaches down the front of his tights and gets another set of glasses and puts them on Robbie, then continues dancing around to the Bromans entrance music. Grado dances all down around ringside and then they head into the ring where Robbie reluctantly BOOMs Grado, then they cartwheel around and then Chaos suddenly appears in the ring and destroy the both of them before straightening their ties and casually walking off.

Aiden O’Shea finds Allie and tells her that the boss wants to talk to her. She goes to see Billy Corgan, who takes her hood off and smiles, then asks how she’s doing. He says Maria doesn’t make matches around here anymore, and Allie says she’ll probably get her ass kicked tonight, but she has to take a stand and that’s what she’s going to do tonight. Billy says that in that case, it’s on for tonight: Allie vs Laurel Van Ness.

Rockstar Spud comes out to introduce his partners…DECAY!

DJ Z, Mandrews & Braxton Sutter vs Rockstar Spud, Crazzy Steve & Abyss

Abyss starts with Sutter, who shows no fear as he rushes Abyss and throws everything he has at him. Steve comes in and gets snap powerslammed, then Mandrews comes in and hits a wheelbarrow bulldog and shotgun knees on Steve, who then turns him inside out with a short clothesline for 2. Spud tags in and goes to town on his former friend, then Abyss comes in and hits a splash on Mandrews and proclaims that it was beautiful. Mandrews dives at his corner and Steve catches him, loses him, and manages to block him anyway. Mandrews gets a rolling victory roll and goes right into a double stomp onto Steve, then tags DJ Z in, and he comes in like a house of fire to clean house on Steve. Spud blocks the ZDT, but Z hits it on the second attempt for the win.

Winners: DJ Z, Braxton Sutter & Mandrews

Much better than your typical X Division match, decent psychology in this one.

Eddie Edwards is backstage, and he’s…WALKING!

Cody and Brandi Rhodes are backstage, and Cody says this is personal because Maria sneak attacked his wife. Cody says a miracle is a creation of a divine agency, but Cody says he’s just smoke and mirrors, and Brandi says she’s gonna make that bitch tap out.

It’s time for the contract signing for our big World Title rematch between Eddie Edwards and Bobby Lashley, and Jeremy Borash brings them out to sit at the table and put pen to paper for the match, which will take place one week from tonight. He informs them that there will be no physicality allowed between now and the match, and he’ll give them each an opportunity for some final comments, starting with Lashley. Lashley says the “no touch” clause is hilarious because the result is the same every time they touch: it’s pain for Eddie, and fun for him. When they face off next week, Eddie will get beat up like he always does. TNA let Eddie fight Cody and made him jump through hoops to get his rematch, and the whole world wants Eddie to win, but it doesn’t matter what they want because next week when they fight each other, Eddie’s feel good party disappears. That title needs to be with someone credible and as bad as he is, who can defend this company against anyone who steps in here, and he is the baddest man in combat sports. That title on Eddie’s shoulder is a joke, and everyone knows it, so he’ll give Eddie the chance to sign first. Lashley says the smart thing will be for him to forfeit the title because he’ll make history by retiring as the World Champion. Eddie says he should slap Lashley in his stupid face because he knows what he’s doing: it’s all about mind games with Bobby Lashley. The first few times, it worked because he got his ass whooped and he knows that. He got home and his wife asked him if he got hit by a truck, and he felt like it, but last time he got home to his wife, she saw him carrying the World Title in with him. Lashley took him lightly because he thought he was the easy match and the easy way out, and next week the rematch is on. Lashley says Eddie is right: he took him lightly, he made a mistake, and Eddie got lucky. This is not a movie, it’s real life, it’s not a feel good story, because in real life, Eddie got lucky and now he’s gonna pay. He’s gonna take that title, beat his ass, and leave him laying. Eddie says he is no one hit wonder, there’s no credits rolling, this title is his whole life, and he knows that being in the ring with Lashley is the biggest fight of his life, and he is signing the contract right now. Eddie puts his Hancock on the paper, and Lashley goes to sign, but Eddie wants to ask him a question: what happens if he signs that and he loses, and Eddie beats him once again? Will everyone see him as the unbeatable Lashley, or will they see him as Eddie’s bitch? That’s enough for Lashley, who flips the table and prepares to tear into Eddie before Borash reminds them that they can’t make contact before next week. Eddie’s ready to fight, but Lashley grabs the contract, signs it, and grabs a mic to tell Eddie that he just signed his fate, and he’s going to take the title and hurt him real bad. Eddie made a mistake, and that’s the last time for him. Lashley drops the mic and walks off, and Eddie shakes Borash’s hand.

We look back at last week when Leah Von Ness and Maria beat up Allie, then Lorena finds Braxton Sutter backstage and says that they can celebrate their victories together later on tonight. She walks off and Sutter sweats.

Back to Halloween at the Hardy Compound, as they answer the door and see someone who’s too old to be trick or treating, and it’s…Hurricane Helms. Matt yells DELETE at him, and Helms leaves. Matt asks where Brother Nero’s costume is, and Nero says he’ll be right back. Matt chit chats with Senor Benjamin, then answers the door to discover…Itchweed, which is Jeff Hardy as Jimmy Valiant. Matt says that Itchweed speaks in an accelerated monotone, and Itchweed is ready to git wit it brah. This gets more and more bizarre each time out.

Back to Halloween at the Hardy Compound, as Itchweed fires up the weedwacker to tear up some “bad ass weed around here” as he does another of his trademark designs on the lawn. The Hardys are just too much. I love it.

Allie vs Lena Van Ness

Madison Rayne is on commentary as Lola shoves Allie around, and Allie shoves her back, so Lucy backs her to the corner and rams a series of shoulderblocks into the ribs, then hairmares her over. Luciana chokes her over the ropes and repeatedly smashes Allie’s face into the mat, then mocks her by faux reaching for the ropes before ramming a forearm into the back of Allie’s head. Linda chucks Allie out to the floor, goes out after her to make bully comments for a bit, then bashes Allie’s face into the apron a few times. Allie dodges a charge, and Luisa plows right into the ring steps, allowing Allie to dump her back in the ring and hit a spear. Allie is going nuts, raining punches down on Layla before dodging a charge and getting a schoolgirl rollup for 2. Allie asks the ref if that was 3, and that’s enough of a distraction for Larissa to nail her from behind and hit a curb stomp for the win.

Winner: Latasha Van Ness

I was really pulling for Allie, bummer. 🙁

Back to the Hardy Compound, where Matt’s creepy decorations hang out before Senor Benjamin answers the door where people wearing Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton masks are standing there. Benjamin says he’s going to build a wall to keep Trump out, then zaps him with the taser. Itchweed asks Hillary what happened to all her emails, and Matt comes out and goes “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!” Itchweed brings his ghost out to chase Hillary off, then Matt gets his servant guy to come out and take a note that he wants to run Hardy For President 2016, YES.

We look back at earlier tonight when Aron Rex knocked Jessie Godderz out during their tag team match, and then Jessie finds Rex backstage and asks him if he thinks that’s cute, and Rex says he knocked him out and won, and Jessie says if Rex is going to win at all costs, he’ll prove that’s not how a champion should operate, and he wants another shot at that title. Rex says if that’s what he wants to go get ready, and he’ll see him in the ring.

Princess Reby Elsa answers the doorwhere a kid in a Chaos mask hands her a DVD and tells them to watch it. The entire clan sits on the couch and they watch the message, and Chaos says they warned them but they did not prepare. They know what the Hardys hold so dear, but next week they will take everything and the clock runs out.

The Bennetts are backstage, and Mike says that nobody has done more than him in the last year, and Cody may be a legacy, but he is not a Miracle because he has the one thing he doesn’t: the First Lady of Professional Wrestling. Maria says Cody only has Brandi Rhodes, who is 1/10 of her, and there’s only one power couple in TNA, and that’s them.

We see a video package hyping next week’s title matches with Eddie Edwards defending the TNA World Title against Bobby Lashley and Aron Rex defending the Grand Championship against Jessie Godderz, and then it’s main event time!

Mike & Maria Bennett vs Cody & Brandi Rhodes

Mike Bennett gets an early advantage on Cody, but Cody plants Bennett with a delayed gourdbuster. Maria slaps Cody and Brandi is incensed and tries to get in, and that distraction allows Bennett to hit Cody with an Ace Crusher for 2 as we go to commercial.

We’re back, and Bennett is still in control as he hits a snap suplex on Cody and then mouths off to Brandi. Bennett dumps Cody to the floor where Maria punts him in the ribs, and again Brandi distracts the ref by trying to get over there so the Bennetts can attack Cody on the floor. Cody takes a wild swing, but Bennett ducks and Cody hits the ringpost. Bennett rolls Cody back in and covers for 2, then drills Cody with right jabs before hitting the ropes…and accidentally knocks Maria off the apron. Bennett briefly pauses to stare at her, then turns around and charges at Cody and they hit head to head. Cody almost makes the tag, but Maria pulls Brandi off the apron and Cody tags nobody. Bennett hits a corner clothesline on Cody, then holds Cody for a low kick, but Cody moves and Maria drives her boot hopme, and it looks their plans for the evening just changed. Cody makes the hot tag, and Brandi comes in and tears right into Maria. She chases Maria out to the floor, back into the ring, and Cody blocks her escape. Brandi hits a pair of forearms and some clotheslines, Maria makes a charge, but Brandi hits a drop toehold that sends Maria’s face right into Mike’s ding ding, and not in the way he usually enjoys. Brandi and Cody get stereo submissions on the Bennetts and they both tap out together. What a romantic moment.

Winners: Cody & Brandi Rhodes

Great win for the Rhodes family, and Brandi looked thrilled to finally get her shot in the ring. We follow Cody and Brandi backstage where Lashley attacks Cody out of nowhere, and Brandi tries in vain to slap Lashley off of Cody, but Lashley doesn’t even notice as he repeatedly pounds Cody’s face in before looking into the camera and saying that nobody comes into his house without permission.

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Source: PWInsider

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