We start off with Jeff Hardy waking up on his couch and singing some old country songas Matt Hardy stuffs Jeff’s clothesi n a trash bag and takes it out to the middle of a lake to bury the material remains of Brother Nero. His drone brings him one shirt he forgot, and that goes in the bag which then goes into the drink.
We go to the arena and kick the action off right away with our opening match…
#1 Contender’s Ladder Match: DJ Z vs Mandrews vs Trevor Lee vs Braxton Sutter vs Rockstar Spud vs Andrew Everett
How many weeks in a row are we going to see the same guys in the same match? Sutter sets up the ladder quickly and tries to climb for the X, Spud knocks him to the floor and goes up, DJ Z pulls him down and knocks him to the floor, and instead of going up the ladder, does a corkscrew dive onto the floor onto the Helms Dynasty. Spud goes back up the ladder, but DJ Z is back up from the floor and springboard dropkicks Spud off the ladder before Spud is able to get up. Sutter and DJ Z fight on top of the ladder, then the ladder goes down and everyone fights in the ring. A second ladder finds its way into the ring, Trevor climbs it, and Sutter and Spud pull the ladders apart and DJ Z dropkicks Lee in the ding ding. They all do “everyone hits one spot after another” until DJ Z winds up alone in the ring and climbs the ladder. Shane Roger Gary Leslie Santiago Helms comes in and DJ Z takes him out with a flying headscissors. Everett goes up the ladder, DJ Z knocks the ladder over and sends Everett down onto Sutter and Spud (and really seemed to hurt Spud’s face on the way down), and DJ Z quickly goes up the ladder and grabs the X.
Winner: DJ Z
DJ Z gets the X, and I can’t wait to see them all do it again next week. DJ Z cuts a promo saying he’s going to win the X Division Title, when Mike Bennett suddenly runs in and lays DJ Z out. He gets Borash’s mic and says he promised to ruin Destination X, and this is just the beginning, because he is going to burn TNA to the ground tonight.
Ethan Carter III is backstage and says tonight is Destination Fist Fight, with a population of two: himself and Drew Galloway. He and Drew are friends, but they want the same thing, and tonight, they’re going to fight.
Don’t forget: Impact is back on Thursdays next week!
McKenzie Mitchell is backstage to interview Dixie Carter, and she welcomes McKenzie to Impact, and wants everyone to know that they’re moving back to Thursdays next week, when they’ll start the Bound For Glory Playoffs. The winner gets a shot at the TNA World Title at Bound For Glory, and we’ll find out the eight men involved next week.
Jeremy Borash is in the ring with Bobby Lashley and Eddie Edwards to get last minute thoughts before tonight’s big title for title match. Lashley says Eddie Edwards got a lucky shot on him last week, and his little X Division Title isn’t the big deal in Impact Wrestling, it’s the TNA World Title, and whoever holds that is at the top of the food chain. He likes Eddie’s motivation and he admires it, but the only thing Eddie managed to do was pith him off. Eddie says if he’s pissed off now, to wait until he walks out of here tonight the TNA World Champion. Lashley says it’s not gonna happen because the underdog does not win, that’s only in movies, and it’s not gonna happen this time. He’s gonna beat Eddie’s ass, take his title, and be the best that TNA has ever seen, and there’s nothing the fans can do about it. Eddie says this isn’t a movie, this is real life, the X Division Title, the wrestling ring, the Wolves Nation are his life, and…well, Lashley has heard enough, and he attacks Eddie and lays him out before planting him in the ring with the running powerslam. Lashley gets a chair and gets ready to clean Eddie’s clock with it when Davey Richards makes a surprise run-in to intercept Lashley and help Eddie fight him off. He takes the TNA World Title belt and puts it around Eddie’s waist, and is it wrong that my heel turn alarm is going off?
Decay is backstage, and Crazzzzzzzzzzy Steve is getting upset over what happened with Rosemary and Bram, but Abyss says he’ll take care of Bram and then Rosemary will be free and everything will be beautiful.
We’re at Matt Hardy’s personal movie theater, where Shannon Moore is going to watch the Final Deletion on film for the first time. She looks through his Hardy Boys (Frank and Joe, not Matt and Jeff) book collection before grabbing Maxel, sliding down a Batpole, and settling in to watch the Final Deletion. Is that butler Donkey Lips? The Deletion gets a big round of applause from his audience, then he holds up King Maxel for a round of applause and a chant of “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!”
Abyss vs Bram
Crazzzzzzzzzzy Steve is there, but no Rosemary. Bram comes out minus his beard, gets distracted by Steve, and is promptly jumped fro mbehind by Abyss. Bram connects with a series of clotheslines, but Abyss sidesteps a charge and sends Bram flying to the floor where he’s viciously attacked by Steve. Bram goes back in the ring and gets control while slugging it out with Abyss and takes him down with a chindrop. Abyss chokeslams Bram, but is too worn down to make a cover. Rosemary hobbles down to ringside (no jokes about why she’s walking funny), and she walks past Steve and into the ring where she hovers over Bram and looks into his eyes. Abyss wants to know what’s up, and the distraction allows Bram to roll Abyss up for the win.
Rosemary strokes Bram’s chest and he looks confused for a bit before walking off. Decay looks confused too. Rosemary looks torn.
Knockouts Title Match: Sienna vs Jade vs Marti Belle vs Gail Kim
Gail runs up the ramp and goes after Sienna during her entrance, and Jade and Marti go at it in the ring in the meantime. Sienna yanks Jade to the floor and then goes into the ring to brutalize Marti while Allie shrieks in delight from the floor. Gail comes in and lays both of them out and then goes after Sienna with a vengeance, but Marti dumps Gail to the floor and starts trading shots with Sienna. Gail and Jade come in and take them both out with stereo dropkicks, then they take both of them out with stereo baseball slides before they start trading shots with each other. Jade gets the advantage with a series of martial arts kicks, but Gail dodges one and catches Jade in the royal octopus, then Jade pops out of it and German suplexes Gail for 2. Jade goes to the top and Gail goes after her for a superplex, Sienna gets Gail in an electric chair, and Jade takes them both out with a dropkick. Gail hits EatDaFeet on Marti, but Allie puts Marti’s foot on the bottom rope to break the pinfall. Gail goes for a dive on Allie, but Sienna blasts her out of nowhere with the Silencer and gets the win.
Great match, and Sienna is really growing into her role as the Knockouts Champion really well.
We go back to the Hardy Chateau for dinner where Matt tries to ask Senorita for something in Spanish, and she says she’s Armenian. She wants green beans for Maxel, but no mustard because he can’t stand mustard. Reby wants to propose a toast, so Hardy orders the lights to lower, then he has Donkey Lips come over to take notes: he will make sure that every bit of Brother Nero’s essence is destroyed forever, because after Impact, Brother Nero will be completely DELETED!
Bobby Lashley is backstage and says Eddie Edwards knows he can’t do this alone, so he wants Davey Richards at ringside to watch him rip the heart out of the X Division and the Wolves Nation. Yeah, my heel turn alarm is definitely going off now.
Reby Sky comes out to tell the ignoranrt idiots in the crowd to witness the brilliance of the man who orchestrated the greatest deletion in wrestlingh history: Matt Hardy! Matt tells them to go ahead and boo him, because their hatred only makes him STRONGAH! Last week, we witnessed the FINAL DELETION! The fans chant that they want Jeff, but Matt says that name no longer exists, because he owns the Hardy name and deleted everything that was the essence of the evil Brother Nero. He is so kind that he has decided to bring him out here one last time for the CREATURES to see the pitiful, poor, pathetic, weak Brother Nero. He says no music, no fanfare, he asks Reby to introduce Jeff, which she does: saying he’s from the furthest reaches beyond Parts Unknown, all the way out in deletion, and calls him the obsolete Brother Nero. She walks behind him going “Obsolete! Obsolete!” as he walks down the ramp. They’re doing the walk of shame from Game of Thrones! At least Jeff is wearing clothes. Matt tells Brother Nero that he knew he’d come, and he has decided that his punishment is that his TNA contract will be terminated FOREVAH! He tells Jeff to begone, and Jeff waves to the fans, who are still chanting “we want Jeff” as he leaves, but Matt tells Brother Nero to stop and turn around. He makes sure that Jeff finds no joy in the afterlife, but he knows what Jeff would do by adopting a pseudonym and going to work for a megalomaniac in New York, or honorable work in Japan, so he’ll stay here and be his mule because there’s a lot of equity in his name, and since he owns everything and is all that is Hardy, he’ll turn Jeff into his obsolete mule. So he’s going to shove drugs up his ass to smuggle them over the border? Oh wait, he says he’s going to ride him for every dollar he’s worth, because he may be broken, but he’ll never be broke. Brother Nero will learn that deletion is worse than death, and he tells him again to begone…DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
We go to Josh and Pope, who try not to crack up as they throw out predictions for tonight’s main event.
We go backstage where Mike Bennett is saying he’s going to ruin the main event, but DJ Z comes up to him and says he wants him in the ring and to forget about Eddie Edwards. Bennett tells him that’s fine and he’ll see him out there.
DJ Z vs Mike Bennett
Maria distracts DJ Z so Bennett can jump him from behind, and works him over steadily while shutting down DJ Z’s attempts to fire back. DJ Z starts to mount a comeback, but Bennett catches him with a quick shot and covers for 2. Bennett plants DJ Z with a spinebuster for 2, but then DJ Z dumps Bennett to the floor and takes him out with a somersault dive that smashes both men into the barricade, then he follows that up with a flying headscissors onto the ramp. DJ Z goes to the top rope and goes for another dive, but Bennett backs up the ramp and says he’s outta here. Suddenly, all the rest of the X Division comes out to block Bennett’s escape and forces him back to the ring where DJ Z gets a victory roll for the surprise win.
Winner: DJ Z
I hate it when heels and babyfaces who hate each other “stick together for a purpose” like this, but whatever. Bennett is irate, and he says that’s not how this was supposed to go down. He promised to ruin Destination X, and dammit, he’s going to ruin it and he’s going to burn this company to the ground, and he’s not going to do it alone. What…WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Drew Galloway is backstage, and he says EC3 is such a passionate man, and we heard all about what he wants last week, so there’s nothing to do now but talk this out like gentlemen. Actually, they’ll fight and do it RIGHT NOW!
Mike Bennett is backstage on the phone with someone he’s telling he has to get here tonight because they have no idea who they’re messing with, and it’s going down tonight.
Drew Galloway comes out to the ring and says that he and EC3 go way back, but they both want the World Title and keep getting in each other’s way. Since TNA won’t sanction a wrestling match, he wants EC3 to come out and fight him right now. EC3 comes out and…wait, they’re not wrestling? Didn’t all the advertising say they were? EC3 comes out and says they both want the title, but there can be only one. Their friendship seems to be evolving, but just right now, Drew is his Scottish puppy dog BITCH! EC3 tears his shirt off and rushes the ring, and they start brawling in the ring. EC3 dumps Drew out to the floor, but Drew takes his head off with a clothesline when he goes out and then dumps him chest first on the guardrail. Drew comes after him with a chair, but EC3 gets ahold of the chair and hammers Drew with it. That only lasts a moment before Drew picks EC3 up and just tosses him into the ringpost and then bashes him with the chair. They trade blows on the entry ramp, Drew headbutts EC3 in the face, and then dives off the ramp with a shot, and they brawl toward the back, and then finally into the interview area where a bunch of wrestlers come to pull them apart.
The Wolves are backstage talking about everything they’ve been through tonight, and how they’re always going to have each other’s back. Is this some plan to make us think a heel turn isn’t happening by making it so obvious it will that we think it won’t, until it does? My head hurts.
And with everything else in the books, it’s MAIN EVENT TIME!
Title For Title: TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley vs X Division Champion Eddie Edwards
The bell rings, and we’re off. Lashley tosses Eddie around, then responds to a couple of chops with a hard shoulderblock before stomping him out in the corner. Lashley with spears in the corner, and Eddie is in trouble early. Lashley easily pops Eddie over with a release belly to belly suplex, but Eddie reverses a delayed vertical suplex to a sleeper. Lashley easily tosses him, but misses a charge and sails out to the floor. Eddie with a baseball slide and then tries a dive, Lashley catches him and goes for a powerslam, but Eddie slips out and hits a Frankensteiner onto the ramp. Eddit charges Lashley and gets overhead release suplexed onto the stage by Lashley, who barely seems to be breaking a sweat. Lashley tosses Eddie down the ramp and goes for a spear, Eddie catches him coming in with a knee, but a second spear flattens Eddie as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Eddie’s still in trouble as he takes a hanging neckbreaker for 2. Eddie finally connects with a series of chops and a DDT, and the fans are going nuts for Eddie as he sidesteps a spear and sends Lashley back out to the floor. Eddie hits the dive this time, and enjoyed it so much he hit two more for good measure. Eddie hits a sky high for 2, drills Lashley with a pair of leaping enziguiris, and goes for a superplex or something, but Lashley falls off the top rope. Whoops. It’s okay, Eddie puts him back on the top rope, hits another enziguiri, and goes for a super Frankensteiner. Lashley tries to pull Eddie up for a powerbomb, but Eddie snaps off the Frankensteiner and sets up for the Boston Knee Party. Lashley catches him coming in and goes for the powerslam, accidentally knocking the ref out with Eddie’s feet as he picked him up, and hits the powerslam. No referee, so Lashley goes out to the floor, gets his belt, and goes after Eddie with it. Davey Ricahrds gets in the ring, grabs the belt, and they hit Lashley with the Alarm Clock and Chasing the Dragon. Eddie covers for 2, but then Mike Bennett comes in the ring and knocks the referee out. The Wolves corner Bennett when Moose comes out of the back, lays Davey out, then Eddie tries a dive over the ropes and gets caught and powerbombed onto the apron by Moose. Moose gets into the ring to go face to face with Lashley, and Bennett sneaks in from behind, low blows Lashley, then Moose takes Lashley’s head off with a roaring lariat.
McKenzie finds Dixie Carter backstage and asks her what she thinks of what we just saw, and Dixie says the fans expected a winner, and they’re going to get it. Next week: Lashley and Eddie have a rematch in the Six Sides of Steel!
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