TNA Impact Report – 5/3/16

The show opens with Bobby Lashley attacking Drew Galloway in a MMA gym and throwing him into the Octagon, locking the cage and drilling him with a loaded glove. Lashley gets a triangle choke, but Galloway fights his way out and then a bunch of TNA wrestlers who just happened to be there ran in to separate them.

We then go to a video package of the history leading into last week’s history-making main event where Mike Bennett pinned Ethan Carter III’s shoulders to the mat for the first time. From there, we go to the arena where Mike Bennett comes out to the ring to gloat. He said for weeks that he was the Miracle, and he spent weeks saying he could do what nobody else could, and he did it when he pinned EC3. Everyone said he had a God complex, but he didn’t because HE IS GOD. He beat the unbeatable EC3, he beat the World Champion, Drew Galloway, and that makes him the only person who deserves to be the World Champion. Jeff Hardy comes out to…run around ringside high fiving fans and convulsing. He comes into the ring and asks the CREATURES if Bennett just called himself God. Maria says Bennett should talk a little slower for Hardy, and Bennett repeats, right in Hardy’s face, that he is God. Hardy says that’s a joke, and he might believe in Miracles, but Bennett is no Miracle. Bennett’s sorry if that hurts Jeff’s ego, and he respects what he’s done in his career and what he did to his brother, but it looks like Jeff is hurt that his CREATURES have become Mike’s Miracles. Bennett says Jeff knows he’s next in line for a World Title shot and Jeff wants to use that since he couldn’t beat Drew Galloway, so Bennett will do him a solid and see if he can get Dixie Carter to make a match between them in the main event. Jeff says they don’t need Dixie because they can do this right now. Jeff sneak attacks the Miracle and drives him out to the floor, and Bennett gets a mic and says if Hardy wants to do this right now, to get him a referee and they’ll do it…RIGHT AFTER THIS BREAK!

Jeff Hardy vs Mike Bennett

Bennett is in control as we come back from commercial, grounding Hardy with a rear chinlock. Hardy gets free and does the double legdrop to the ding ding combo for 2. He sets up for the Twist of Fate, Bennett slips out, so Hardy puts Bennett on the top rope and…Bobby Lashley runs into the ring and spears Hardy into next week.

Winner: Jeff Hardy by DQ

Bennett is thrilled and pats Lashley on the back, so Bennett spears Bennett clear across the ring as well. He gets a microphone and says he wants Dixie Carter to come out to the ring and give him the title shot he wants or he’s not going anywhere. Dixie comes out and asks if Lashley is seriously demanding she give him a title shot, and reminds him that she’s the boss here, not him. She thinks the fans deserve a huge main event tonight between Jeff Hardy, Mike Bennett, and Bobby Lashley, with the winner getting the next shot at Drew Galloway. Oh, and to make sure everything plays out right tonight, she’s assigned a special referee. The World Champion himself comes out, and of course it makes perfect sense that the World Champion would be an impartial official when it came to determining his own next challenger.

Decay is backstage, and they destroyed Beer Money and got the gold, but that’s only step one of their plan. The evolution continues tonight for everyone, and they don’t fear change, so Rosemary asks Steve if he’s ready for his transformation, then she spits green mist down his throat. Is this like the goth version of snowballing? Rosemary tells Abyss to take his mask off, which he does, and then she snowballs him as well.

We go out to the ring where Rosemary uses the tag belts as leashes to lead Decay, both with black cowls over their heads, to the ring. She says that they’ve destroyed our heroes and been remade, and Crazzy Steve, the man without a voice, will be silent no longer. Steve takeshis hood off and says that Rosemary gave them a voice and a purpose, and the fans’ pain and suffering is their pleasure. Rosemary says that so many have sought to control him: doctors, brothers, his father, and they just want to set him free and show everyone his scars. The hood comes off, and Abyss is wearing crazy facepaint. He says that he hid behind his mask for so long to hide his scars, but he’s free from his pain, and he is beautiful…HE’S BEAUTIFUL! He takes joy in his beauty, and takes joy in Decay. Rosemary says their joy will not stop, they banished half of Beer Money, and they will not stop because anyone who gets in their way will DECAYDECAYDECAY. James Storm comes out to the ring, and Abyss says to shut that music off because Beer Money is dead. Storm says they may have had something to do with Beer Money not being around right now, but they left him standing, and he is the moonshine swimmin’, creek swimmin’…and so on guy from Tennessee. He drinks beer on every day that ends in day because he is James motherf’ing Storm. Usually he lets them choose which of their asses he’ll kick, but tonight, they’ll all have a party. Storm runs in and attacks Decay and fights them both off, then gets his mic and says that he and Abyss have some unfinished business, and he’s gonna whoop his ass so bad he’ll put that mask back on.

James Storm vs Abyss

We’re back, and Storm is beating Abyss up all around ringside and bashes him in the head with…something. They head into the ring and Abuss chucks Storm right back out to the floor where Steve attacks him with a fury. Steve rolls Storm back into the ring where Abyss locks him in a neck vice, but Storm gets free and mounts a comeback. Storm connects with a top rope elbowdrop for 2, but then Steve tries to get on the apron and Storm knocks him to the floor, then turns around and walks right into a faceful of black mist followed by the Black Hole Slam for 3.

Winner: Abyss

Good match, and I like the new twist on Decay’s persona.

Maria is backstage with a handful of papers that she hands to some backstage grunt to go bring to Jade, then she sees the camera and says that Gail Kim found out what happens when you oppose Maria. she hopes Jade is smart enough to know what happens when someone opposes her.

Jeff Hardy is backstage saying he’s hurt, beat up, and has a bum leg, and it’s been three years since he’s been the World Champion, but now he has to go through Bennett and Lashley to get what he wants, so he’s wrestling every match like it’s his last…for the CREATURES. Everything about his relationship with his brother is broken, and he’s heard that Matt has changed, but he leaves without going into more depth.

Maria is in the ring, and she says tha Knockouts were okay when she got here, but she plans to make the Knockouts division great again and make it remarkable. On that subject, she brings out a remarkable woman: the Knockouts Champion, Jade. Jade has new entrance music and video, but doesn’t come out, so Maria impatiently demands that she come out, and her music and video hit again as the champion comes to the ring. Maria tells Jade that she is currently the Knockouts Champion and she wants her to be her vision, but we all saw what happened to Gail when she disagreed with her. Jade’s start is shining so bright and she’s hate to see it die, so she wants Jade to admit her mistake. Jade says she didn’t make no mistake, and Maria insists that Jade wouldn’t be champ if it weren’t for her, and the fans might think she’s some badass chick, but she knows Jade is a scared little girl who needs to be taught a lesson by her boss. She’s not asking Jade to hand over the title, she’s telling her to lay down in this ring right now. Maria calls a referee out to the ring and tells Jade that she deserves that title, and it would look much better around her waist anyway, so she wants Jade to LAY DOWN NOW. Jade says she wants to make it clear that she doesn’t lay down for anyone, whether they be man, woman, or BITCH. Maria says she’s got quite a mouth on her, and if Jade’s not going to lay down for her, she’s got someone to give Jade a fight. Sienna (formerly known as Allisyn Kay) comes out to the ring and starts brawling with Jade, powering her around with a double choke lift and then taking it to her on the floor. Jade tries to fight back, but Sienna backdrops her on the ramp and then rams her into the ring steps. Sienna wheelbarrow lifts Jade and swings her into the ring steps, then dumps her back into the ring. Maria is on the apron with the mic and asks Jade if she believes in her vision now, then tells Sienna to finish her, and Sienna give Jade like a twisting bodybag type move. Maria comes into the ring and tells Jade to believe in her vision, then raises Sienna’s hand.

Bram says that he’s been called a lot of things, but the one thing he’s never been is a follower, and now he’s a champion…the King Of The Mountain Champion. He’s still the same Bram as ever, but the title is going on the line tonight and it’s come one, come all.

Jeremy Borash is backstage to inform us that we’ll have an exclusive, sit-down interview with Ethan Carter III after this break.

We’re back from commercial, and Mike Bennett walks in to ask Borash why he wants to talk to the loser, not the winner. He says EC3 isn’t even here because he’s a coward, and he’s the man who put EC3’s shoulders to the mat. He beat EC3, he can beat anyone, and he’ll beat Hardy and Lashley tonight.

King Of The Mountain Title Match: Bram vs Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards vs Jessie Godderz vs Andrew Everett

Jessie and Eli trade a bunch of pinning combinations and then wipe each other out with stereo cross bodyblocks. Everett tries to springboard in and gets caught and powerbombed by Bram for 3. Great way to get Everett over strong in his first in-ring action here. Eddie attacks everyone with a ladder before full-on pitching it into Bram’s face, then gets the backpack driver and Achilles lock on Drake. Everett gets out of the cage and runs into the ring, but Edwards dumps him right back to the floor and takes him out with a dive. Eddie tries a top rope move, but Gregory Shane Rodrigo Keith Bartholomew Terrence Helms shoves him off and Eli cradles him for 3. Now Eddie’s in the penalty box as Bram and Jessie go at it in the ring. Bram tries to climb the ladder, but Jessie dropkicks the ladder out from under him and then goes back to brawling with Drake. Bram comes in and starts beating the crap out of everyone, then everyone goes out to the floor except Everett and Jessie, who gets Everett in the Adonis lock and forces him to tap out. Everett is on his way to the penalty box when Eddie Edwards starts beating him up again, then beats him up all the way to the back. Jessie has the belt and climbs the ladder, Drake yanks him down and knocks him out with the briefcase, then grabs the belt and starts climbing. Bram comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick that knocks Drake down hard to the mat, then grabs the belt, climbs the ladder, and hangs the belt to win the match.

Winner: Bram

Boy, they really did Andrew Everett a big f’ing favor by making him look like the weakest punk ever in this match, didn’t they? Way to debut the guy strong. Drake sneak attacks Bram after the match, then bails up the ramp before Bram can get ahold of him.

Drew Galloway is backstage saying he came here looking for a fight with Lashley, and he got jumped before he ever got to the building. He’s sacrificed everything to be the World Champion, and all three men want his title, but the decision tonight is in his hands, and he’s begging Lashley to put his hands on him because he WILL fight back.

Matt Hardy is backstage saying that Jeff tried to end him two weeks ago, and he didn’t care that he could take him away from his family or end his career, and the doctors told him he should never wrestle again, but wrestling is his passion. Jeff might as well take his heart out, and he wonders how Jeff could be so cruel, but his cruelty obviously knows no limits.

It’s main event time! Well, almost. Ethan Carter III comes out to confront Mike Bennett, and he has only one thing to say to Bennett: congratulations. He and Bennett will never be friends, and he sure as hell won’t shake Bennett’s hand, but he can appreciate that he said he’d do something and he did it. He pinned EC3, his Miracle is complete, but he beat everyone for two and a half years and then had to hear them come out here and make excuses. He won’t be like those guys, he’ll accept the defeat, but it changed him, and now this is the moment that defines him, and he hopes that Bennett wins here and becomes the World Champion so he can know the feeling it brings someone. He wants Bennett to know it so he knows what he took from EC3, and know that EC3 will take it from him. They’ll fight again, and Bennett’s win over him has already defeated him because it was the catalyst to him becoming the best damn wrestler on the planet, and if Bennett wants to call himself God, that makes EC3 his devil.

#1 Contender Match: Mike Bennett vs Jeff Hardy vs Bobby Lashley

Bennett and Lashley team up to attack Hardy, but then Lashley turns on Bennett and takes Hardy out himself. Hardy comes back with a double clothesline, dumps both opponents to the floor, then comes off the top rope with a Whisper In The Wind that almost appears to kind of graze them. Everyone’s down on the floor as we go to commercial.

We’re back, and Hardy hits Bennett with a Twist of Fate and goes up for the Swanton. He connects, but Lashley comes right in and flattens Hardy with a powerslam. Lashley pops Bennett up with a delayed vertical suplex, and actually mouths off to Drew while he has Bennett up. Galloway dutifully moves into position to take a spear from Lashley when Bennett moves, Lashley goes for the spear, Bennett moves, and Lashley spears Galloway. Bennett hits Lashley with a Diamond Cutter, Hardy dropkicks him to the floor, gives Lashley a Twist of Fate, and he comes off the top with a swanton, but no referee. Hardy kicks Bennett through the ropes and takes him out with a dive, then puts Bennett on the ring steps and goes up top for a Swanton…and connects. Both guys are down and out, as is out 6’7″ mountain of a World Champion who got bumped like five minutes ago. Decay runs out and attacks Jeff Hardy, and Abyss chokeslams Hardy onto the ring steps and all three of them laugh at Hardy. Jeff gets up, on top of the steps for some reason, and Lashley comes out of nowhere with a spear that knocks him off the steps and into the ringpost. Jeff is DEAD, and Lashley rolls him into the ring and sets up for another spear, and he rips Hardy in half with it. Drew slow counts, but eventually has to hit the 3 for Lashley.

Winner: Bobby Lashley

Drew has his #1 contender, and he looked none too happy about it. Lashley wants Galloway to raise his hand, Drew doesn’t want to do it and flips Lashley off, so Lashley shoves Drew, Drew raises Lashley’s hand, Lashley tries to sneak attack Drew, but Drew ducks the shot and starts beating the crap out of Lashley. A wild brawl between the two breaks out as we call it a night.

Source: PWInsider

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  • Show Comments

  • WWE SUCKS!

    Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you know that my dick was so hard tonight when I was watching TNA SHITPACT. I was cumming in my shorts when that black stud lashley and Scottish stud drew was rolling around on the mat with each other. I just wish TNA GAYIVERSARY would hurry up and get here because im gonna be jacking off so hard that night. Mmmmm

  • WWE SUCKS!

    Go ahead and make fun of TNA all you want, but the show is getting universally praised by eveyone. I haven’t seen one negative review of the it yet. So live on your pathetic WWE Fanboy Fantasyland bubble, and pretend that the WWE is so great, and TNA Is crap. When in reality nothing could be further to the truth. RAW was shit, and the Dirt-sheets hated it by giving it abysmal reviews in the 3’s & 4’s. Meanwhile TNA was great, and the Dirt-sheets are giving it 8’s & 9’s in reviews, so keep living in your little Fantasyland. LOL!

  • WWE SUCKS!

    Bada Bing! Bada Boom! The gayest guy in the room. HOW YOU DOING?

  • rusty

    They just happened to be Thier lol

  • WWE SUCKS!

    Who happened to be where? What are you even talking about? Oh, and by the way it’s there, not their you stupid fuck.

  • WWE SUCKS!

    I AM A CERTIFIED FAG AND A BONIFIED QUEER AND YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT. HOW YOU DOING?

  • Nick

    You probably haven’t seen negative be cause you only probably read shit from TNA fans lol. Also what makes you more pathetic, you used my cut down bubble boy. It’s also extremely messed up, that you continue to make fun of a guy that could have been seriously hurt. Though I doubt you care. You seem to think what you think is all that matters. Even though I would bet, minus your shit talking(which isn’t a good way to make a point), most people don’t care what you think.

  • Nick

    Figure out how to get some attention in real life, if you want it so bad. Which seems obvious

  • Nick

    I Can’t help it that im Nick the prick with a little dick. Bada Bing! Bada boom! The gayest guy in the room. HOW YOU DOING?

  • WWE SUCKS!

    No little Nicky I said Dirt-sheets, not TNA fan sites. The internet is free for you to explore, so by all means go read some reviews of IMPACT, and see if you can find any negative ones yourself. If the parasite Dirt-sheets are universally praising TNA, than you know the show had to be good, because those asshole hate to say anything good about TNA. LOL!

  • WWE SUCKS!

    Oh, and those fake Nick posts was not me. I don’t give a shit if you believe it or not, but that was not me. I have no reason to lie, so someone else hates you too. LOL!

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