TNA Impact Report – 4/19/16

We open with video of Jeff Hardy arriving at the arena, and later on his brother Matt, with Reby and Maxel in tow. They’ll face off in an I Quit Match in tonight’s main event!

Ladder Match For Control Of The Knockouts Division: Gail Kim vs Velvet Sky vs Madison Rayne vs Rebel vs Marti Bell vs Maria Kanellis vs Knockouts Champion Jade

All the girls surround Maria, but she ducks a kick from Jade and slides out under the bottom rope and hides behind the stairs. Okay, so she’s going to sit out the whole match and come in to eliminate whoever the last girl left is. Everyone else starts brawling and Gail Kim fights out to the floor with Jade while Marti and Rebel get the ladder from the floor. The Beautiful People baseball slide the ladder into them, but then Maria slides the ladder into the ring and sets it up while everyone else is distracted. Gail comes in and chases Maria around the ladder over and over until Jade drills Gail with a kick and Maria runs back to the floor. Jade gets the ladder and uses it to destroy everyone else until Gail kicks it into her face. Gail sets the ladder up and starts to climb, but Maria drags her down, slaps her in the face, and runs back out to the floor. This time Gail chases her all the way around the ring and up the ramp, and suddenly Rosemary comes out of the back with Decay and cracks Gail with a kendo stick. Rosemary carries Gail to the back and Maria gets a big smile on her face and comes back down to ringside while the Beautiful People and the Dollhouse go at it. Maria gives Madison and Velvet a double noggin knocker, then runs out to the floor again when Jade comes after her. Jade sets up the ladder and starts to climb, but Marti powerbombs Jade off the ladder and sends her tumbling out to the floor. NASTY move. Velvet starts to climb, Maria comes back in with the kendo stick, and cracks Velvet with it, then she starts to climb and grabs the contract.

Winner: Maria Kanellis

Saw it coming a mile away, but was still fun to see how she got there. Mike Bennett comes out to celebrate with his wife.

We look back at last week when Matt Hardy pinned Jeff to win the main event, and then Lashley attacked Drew Galloway after the match with repeated spears.

Drew Galloway is backstage with his ribs taped, and he says that he got Lashley’s message, and he’s going to the ring right now to call him out, and he hopes Lashley has the balls to meet him there.

Maria and Mike Bennett are backstage, and she says she now has all the power in the Knockouts Division, and everything’s going to change next week.

Meanwhile, Decay are backstage carrying an unconscious Gail Kim up the steps backstage…WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH HER??

Back out to the arena where Drew Galloway gingerly walks down to the ring, clearly still in pain from last week’s attack. He says that Lashley decided to take advantage of a situation and sneak attack him with multiple spears, and now the doctor’s not clearing him to wrestle this week. They said he can’t wrestle, but they didn’t say anything about him fighting tonight, so since he’s still standing, he wants Lashley to come out and finish the job. Instead, Rockstar Spud (now entering to Bullet With Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins) comes out and asks if Drew was expecting someone else. He sees Drew all beaten up and says that if they wrestled right now, he could beat him for the World Title on the spot. Drew asks if he wants to put that theory to the test, and Spud says he’s not out here to fight, because he’s out here to tell everyone that tonight will be the last time we’re ever going to see Jeff Hardy. No more facepaint, no more stupid dancing, no more CREATURES! Spud says it will all be because of his boss, MATT HARDY! Drew says that if Lashley’s not coming out here, he’ll fight somebody tonight, and Spud says it won’t be him because he was warned…HE WAS WARNED. Tyrus slowly strolls out to the ring with a big smile on his face, and they go face-to-face. Tyrus says that he told Drew that title made him a target, and his patience has paid off. Drew’s been champion for a few weeks and he can barely stand, and he needs to worry that Tyrus can cash in his title shot anytime he wants, but Drew’s not as dumb as he looks, and says he’s hiding behind his doctor’s note. Drew says he’s cleared next week, and whenever he is cleared to wrestle, Tyrus has his match. Tyrus says Drew is a man of his word and shakes his hand, and he turns to leave, but Drew says everyone’s tired of the talk because he’s here for a fight. Spud attacks Drew, and Tyrus jumps him from behind and starts dropping elbows on his ribs, then follows that up with splashes. Spud puts a chair on Drew’s ribs, and Tyrus comes off the second rope with a Vader Bomb. Tyrus picks the belt up and holds it high over his head.

We go to the Hardy Brand Cam, where Matt and his family are getting ready for his match. Reby says Jeff just takes and takes and takes, and Matt says that two brothers will go to Armageddon tonight. Jeff says he thinks he’ll never quit, but he’ll find out differently tonight when Matt does what he has to do for his family, his legacy, and his brand. Jeff will say he quits, and he’ll quit not only the match, but also wrestling, being a Hardy, and everything.

Gail is still unconscious and being held hostage by Decay, and Rosemary asks her what chess piece she thinks she is, because Napoleon once said that there are only kings and pawns. Rosemary says we know which one she is, Decay knows which one she is, and everyone knows this whole place is at war, and now that she’s here with they, they’ll get what they want and silence two birds with one stone, and Gail is a pawn to get them what they want…AND THEY WILL GET WHAT THEY WANT TONIGHT.

X Division Title Match: Eddie Edwards vs DJ Z vs Trevor Lee

The challengers get Trevor Lee on the floor and ping pong him back and forth, then bring him back into the ring and beat him up some more before getting a series of pinning combinations on each other. Trevor sneaks back in and rams Eddie’s shoulder into the ringpost, and Eddie falls out to the floor as Lee keeps the pressure up on DJ Z. DJ Z gets a springboard elbow on Lee, but Lee takes it to the floor and gives DJ Z a back suplex on the apron. Eddie takes Lee out with a dive and sends him back into the ring and hits a blue thunder driver for 2. DJ Z comes in with a Thesz press on Eddie for 2, Helms trips DJ Z, drags him out to the floor, and flattens him with a short clothesline. Meanwhile in the ring, Lee goes for a superplex, Eddie blocks and knocks Lee to the mat, and Helms gets up on the apron to distract the referee as…someone else runs out of the back and shoves Eddie off the top rope, and Lee quickly covers for the win.

Winner: Trevor Lee

Okay, it was Andrew Everett, and now he and Trevor Lee join in a beatdown on Eddie and DJ Z after the bell.

Eric Young and Bram are backstage, and Young says they’re going out to the ring to change wrestling forever.

Gregory Shane Bob Horatio Flynn Derek Helms is backstage with his proteges, and he says the Helms Dynasty rules the X Division, and it’ll never be the same.

Eric Young and Bram are in the ring, and Young says he hates everyone in this building, both out here and in the back. He is the most dangerous man in wrestling, he has the most dangerous move in the business, and he is the King of wrestling, and his King of the Mountain Title is his proof. Nobody can beat him, everyone’s tried, and nobody can do it, and that brings him to the next piece of business: if TNA wants to suck up to punks like EC3, cater to has-benns like Jeff Hardy, and suck up to the golden boy Drew Galloway, he’s doing the messing from here on out because this is the last time we’re gonna see him. The fans cheer pretty loud for that, but Young says he’s taking his King of the Mountain Title and his talent, and he’s leaving. He wants TNA to take a long hard look, because he and Bram are out of here and they quit. Young starts to leave, but Bram isn’t moving. Young tells Bram to come on, then order him to leave NOW, but Bram says he isn’t going anywhere. Young comes back and asks him what he said, and Bram repeats that he’s not going anywhere. He’s sick and tired of being Young’s lackey and playing second fiddle to him, and Young says he sees that Bram wants to be alone instead of staying under the wing of the most dangerous man in wrestling. Young says that’s fine if he wants to stay here like a loser, but Bram says that belt looks pretty heavy, and he thinks it’d look better around the waist of a real man. Young seems amused by this, and Bram says he doesn’t think Young has to balls. Young responds by kicking Bram in his, then he piledrives Bram and calls him a loser once again. Young takes his belt and starts to leave, then picks up a pair of scissors that a ringside attendant had for some reason and brings them into the ring. He says Bram grew the beard because of him, then he cuts Bram’s beard off. He grabs his belt and leaves as referees come out to check on Bram.

Mike Bennett and Maria are backstage, and they’re…WALKING! We’ll find out what’s on their mind after this commercial break!

Jeff is backstage saying that he and Matt are so alike and so different in so many ways, and that’s what made them a great team. But he’s sick of what Matt’s become, and he’s not looking forward to this match, but he knows he’s going to do what he has to do and he WILL NOT QUIT.

Back out to the ring where Maria and Mike Bennett are in the ring, and Bennett wants to tell us a fairy tale. Once upon a time, there was a prince that had all the power over a Kingdom, and his name was Prince Ethan Carter III. Prince Ethan had it all: all the gold, all the money, all the riches, and all the friends in the world, but then a white knight arrived, one by the name of the Miracle. On that day, Prince Ethan began to spiral out of control, he began to lose all of his power, all of his gold, and all of his friends, and like the coward he is, he blamed all his shortcomings on the Miracle. Prince Ethan got so angry and fired up that he challenged the white knight to a fight, and the honorable white knight did battle with him, and the Miracle defeated Prince Ethan and stole all of his power, because power tends to corrupt, but absolute power corrupts absolutely. This is his kingdom, and when he beat Ethan’s ass in this ring, he took all the power and took back HIS kingdom, and now everyone is a member of the Kingdom of Miracles. The lights go out, and here comes EC3! He says Bennett won by DQ, but he beat the Miracle’s ASS. They have a lot of similarities, but also a lot of differences: they both have great taste in women, they both have unique styles, they both train diligently to be in the best condition possible, only Ethan doesn’t skip leg day. They also both want to be the best in the industry, and he beat everyone and became a World Champion, but Bennett hasn’t beaten a damn thing. Bennett says all he heard when he got here was the legacy of the supposedly unbeatable EC3, but all he’s seen is a pathetic little boy who blames all his problems on him. EC3 challenged him to a fight, he accepted, and he won, and now they’ll never wrestle again because he is done with EC3. EC3 says that’s fair if he wants to duck him, but he will stalk and hunt Bennett at every turn until Bennett decides to fight him, and when that happens, he will beat him. Bennett says guys like them are destined to do this forever, but no matter how many matches they have, Bennett will always win, EC3 will always lose, and EC3 will always have some excuse, so they will never wrestle again. EC3 says Bennett has an opportunity to be a made man because nobody has ever pinned or submitted him in over 30 months, so if Bennett wants to be the man, beat him. EC3 has a proposition for him: next week is Sacrifice, and he wants to face him with no DQs so that someone will be pinned or submitted, one winner, one loser, no excuses. Bennett says that if pinning, submitting him and ending this streak is what it takes for everyone to finally believe in the Miracle, his answer is Yes I Do. EC3 says it’s good that Bennett believes in himself because it’ll take a miracle to beat him.

Back to Decay’s dungeon where Gail finally is awake, but she’s tied up and yelling at them that they’re insane. Rosemary says the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over. Gail says to leave her alone and screams for help, but Rosemary says they’ll gladly let her go when they get what they want: attention, chaos, and gold.

Al Snow is in the ring and he’s got his wrestling gear on. He tells the fans to boo all they want because he’s never seen people like them in his entire life. He listens to everyone complain and complain about wrestling, but they still watch. They used to not let just anyone into the business, because they wanted to protect it from the fans since they’re ruining the business. He knows this because he’s in the ring and everyone else is out there, and he would never pay to see any of them in a wrestling ring. He’s about to give everyone a lesson about how wrestling should be, and he’s also going to teach Shera a lesson.

Al Snow vs Mahabali Shera

Snow jumps Shera coming into the ring and puts the boots to him in the corner. Snow chokes Shera on the ropes and kicks him in the ding ding behind the referee’s back. Snow gets a microphone and tells everyone that this is their chance to show him how much they know about wrestling. He asks if anyone wants to come in as he puts the boots to Shera, and he says there isn’t a man here who could do better than he’s doing. He drops the mic and goes back to unloading on Shera, but Shera starts to no-sell, powers Snow into the corner, and unloads with forearms and shoulderblocks. Snow hits a series of clotheslines, but Shera doesn’t budge. Shera knocks Snow down with a big clothesline and then Beell tosses him across the ring and clotheslines him to the floor. Snow slips under the ring, and Shera has no idea what happened to him. He’s looking all over the place, but doesn’t see Snow coming out from under the other side of the ring. He gets back in and blindsides Shera from behind and knocks him out to the floor. Snow rams Shera into the ringpost and then they head back inside where the fans inform Snow that he sucks. Snow unloads with right hands to the skull of Shera, he snapmares Shera and makes a cover, but Shera powers out at 2. Shera starts firing back on Snow with a series of big bombs, and of all people to do this, he rips off the Three Amigos…and screws it up on the third amigo. He goes back to punching, but Snow goes to the apron, gets knucks out of his tights, and knocks Shera into next week. He stuffs the knucks back into his tights, then rolls back into the ring and motions to the referee that it was an open hand shot. He rolls Shera over and hooks the leg deep as he covers for the win.

Winner: Al Snow

It was there. Shera really stinks.

Decay is still holding Gail hostage backstage, and Rosemary says that in their world, princesses don’t get happy endings…they get sacrificed. If they don’t get what they want, Gail is gonna be sacrificed.

Eli Drake is backstage and says that he needs to take care of some dummies. He goes into the production trailer and says that next week, he’ll have a segment called Fact of Life where he’ll start naming people he thinks are dummies. Okay then.

Back out to the arena where Decay is dragging Gail Kim back to the ring. Rosemary and Crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy Steve hold Gail while Rosemary says this is a giant chess board and the fans are all pawns. They’re all puppets, but they have severed their strings, and she promises they’ll cut Gail’s too if they get what they want, but if not, maybe they’ll just cut her head off. Abyss tells Gail to relax, because nobody can help her now…except for Beer Money. He calls Storm and Roode out to the ring, and they come out and tell them to let Gail go since this has nothing to do with her. Abyss says they’re exactly the guys they wanted to see. He asks if they’d like Rosemary to snap Gail’s neck, then demands a shot at their title. Roode says if they’re doing this for a shot at their titles, all they had to do was ask, and if they want a match, they’ve got one. They let Gail go…then Rosemary grabs Gail and drags her back to the middle of the ring. Abyss says there’s just one more thing…they don’t want a regular match, they want a match with no rules, no regulations, they want a match with carnage, pain, suffering, so they want Beer Money to walk with them into the Valley of Shadows? Roode says whatever kind of match they want, they’ve got it, and to let Gail go. They release Gail, who rolls to ringside and calls Decay pricks. Rosemary says anyone can walk into the Valley of Shadows, but the only ones who will survive are Decay…Decay…DECAY!

Next week, Drew Galloway defends the TNA World Title against Tyrus, EC3 faces Mike Bennett in a no DQ match, Eric Young defends the King of the Mountain Title against Bram, and Beer Money defends the World Tag Team Title against Decay!

But right now, it’s…MAIN EVENT TIME!

I Quit Match: Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy

Matt comes out to the ring alone for this one because it’s a super serious thing. Matt bowls Jeff into the corner and unloads with right hands, but Jeff gets a flying headscissors to break that up, and then they’re trading blows in the middle of the ring. They block one another’s attempts at Twists of Fate and Side Effects, and Jeff takes Matt down and gets the double legdrop to the groin/basement dropkick combo. Jeff gets a figure four, but Matt’s not quitting. Spud comes in and attacks Jeff, which is legal since there’s no DQs, but Jeff nails him back and powerbombs him. Matt uses the distraction to nail Jeff and clothesline him to the floor, then starts smashing his face into the ring steps. Matt goes for a Twist of Fate on the floor, but Jeff shoves him off into the ringpost, then clotheslines him over the rail into the crowd. Jeff goes for Poetry In Motion off a chair into the crowd, but Matt whips a chair in his face to break that up. Awesome spot, and we go to commercial.

We’re back, and Matt has an armbar on Jeff around the guardrail. Jeff yanks Matt into the rail by the same arm and gets a sort of cross armbreaker through the guardrail. Matt’s not quitting, so Jeff dropkicks the rail into Matt, who stumbles overto the production area. Matt grabs something off the production table and bashes Jeff in the face with it, then gets a steel pipe and starts banging it on the rail. He swings it at Jeff’s head, but Jeff ducks and nails Matt, then he takes a swing at Matt with the pipe, but Matt blocks with the ring bell. Matt uses a chair and drives it down into Jeff’s neck and yells at him to quit, but Jeff refuses, so Matt rams the chair into Jeff’s ribs over and over. Matt sets the chair up and puts Jeff’s head through the back, tells Jeff he is going to end him once and for all, and Jeff bites Matt’s hand and uses his body to ram the chair into Matt. Now Jeff uses the chair to hammer Matt, then he walks up what looks like the stairs Decay was carrying Gail up earlier, and he slides down the railing to deliver a chairshot. That’s innovative! Jeff piles up a bunch of guardrails into a platform, then sets the ladder up on the production table, then lays Matt on top of the guardrail, climbs up the ladder…but Matt is up and firing shots into Jeff’s ribs. Jeff climbs back down to brawl with his brother, but Matt gives Jeff a Side Effect through the guardrail table, and they both crash to the floor below. Matt slowly picks himself back up and dumps Jeff back onto the production area and lays him on the table, but Jeff catches him in a chokehold and gets a bodyscissors. Jeff yells at Matt to quit, but he won’t do it. Matt finally passes out, so Jeff releases the hold. The referee says he’s out, but Jeff says it’s not over until he says he quits. He punches Matt in the face, goes up the ladder, then changes his mind and comes back down. He walks past Matt to the steps and goes WAY up, tears the shirt off, climbs onto a platform that’s been conveniently built right into the spot he dives off of, and hits a Swanton that sends both men through the table. Both men are out cold, and a slew of officials comes out to check on both Hardys. Jeff finally comes to and sits up as we see replays of that Swanton, and we come back to the medics putting a neck brace on Matt and loading him onto a stretcher. Reby is shrieking at the medics, who load Matt up and wheel him to the back as the show comes to a close.

NO CONTEST

Well, nothing was settled here…guess we’ll follow up next week!

Source: PWInsider

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  • cm crybaby

    What a way to start a program. With a snooze fest that is women wrestling. God awful T.N.A.

  • TNA RULES!

    Hey, don’t you dare say anything bad about TNA. Their trying their hardest to stay alive ok. I also forgot to mention that im a sissy fag. Yes I love cocks, big giant cocks Lol

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