TNA Impact Report – 3/22/16

We start off with a video package looking back at last week’s shocking finish as Drew Galloway cashed in Feast or Fired to become the TNA World Champion, then we go to the arena as the new champion comes out to address the fans. He thanks the fans for their support, and says that no matter what you think of wrestling, he is the TNA World Champion and that’s real. He’s been called a lot of things, but he’s never been handed anything, and he’s spent 15 years working his ass off. He worked hard, moved to America to live his dream, and now he’s the champion. He wants everyone to look at TNA and this title differently, and he quotes someone named GFK by saying not to ask what the title can do for you, but what you can do for the title. He’s going to be a fighting champion and do whatever it takes to put TNA on the map again. Matt Hardy’s music hits, and he comes out with Spud, Tyrus, and Reby in tow. Matt says Drew is no champion, he’s just a spineless coward, a liar, a cheater, and a thief. Drew committedd felony robbery last week, because he was in this ring in the main event and survived a 30 minute handicap match against two of the biggest stars in wrestling, and after he defeated them and retained his title, Drew came out and stole his title. It was such a crime that he didn’t call the cops, but Drew says it was chaos, he saw an opportunity, and he made the most of it, and he is now the TNA World Champion. Matt’s been a smart man and a manipulator, but Drew outsmarted him and now the future belongs to him. Matt says Drew thinks he’s the moral compass around here but he’s not, because Matt is still in charge around here, and he’s going to get his rematch or the entire Matt Hardy Brand is going to obliterate him. Drew drops his mic and is ready to go right now when Jeff Hardy’s music hits, and he comes out to say that there’s a line of people for that title shot. Matt got beat last week, he didn’t, and if anybody deserves the first title shot, it’s him. Drew says he’ll give Jeff a title shot, but Matt says to stay out of it because it’s family business, and he wants Jeff to go stay out of his career and go do more of his asinine art, make some more music, or get on his redneck bike and break the rest of his limbs. Jeff says he’s not going anywhere until he gets what he wants, and that’s his World Title back. Jeff gets cut off when Eric Young and Bram run out of the back and attack him on the floor while Matt Hardy and his entourage attack Drew inside the ring. Bram and Young set up a table on the floor and prepare to piledrive Jeff through it as we go to commercial.

We’re back and Jeff hasn’t gone through the table, and is instead joining Drew in getting beaten down by the five guys they seem to have found themselves at odds with. This continues until EC3 runs out with a chair and all the heels clear out of the ring. EC3 says nobody’s having a punch party without him, and he tells Drew that he’s a deserving champion, but not as deserving as he is because he’s held that title twice and lost it twice without being pinned or submitting. He respects Drew, but seeing him with that title enrages him because that’s his validation for who and what he is. EC3 formally requests a World Title match, and Drew accepts, but then Mike Bennett shows up as well, and I’m pretty sure I know what he’s going to say. He hears EC3 blame his problems on the Miracle, but everything happens for a reason, and he sees everyone out there asking for title shots, but as the last man to pin the champion, he deserves a title shot. Drew tells everyone to shut up, so since everyone wants a title shot, he’ll fight them all. It looks to me like there’s only one person with the sense, the reason, and the downright authority to sort this one out, and right on cue, Dixie Carter strolls out of the back with her hand on her hip and says everyone here was part of that chaos last week. Drew says he’ll face any one of them, but the fans don’t want to hear them argue over who gets a title shot, they want to see them fight for it. Tonight, we’re going to have a gauntlet match where the winner gets the first crack at Drew Galloway.

Beer Money is backstage trying to figure out who is answering their open challenge tonight, and they run down the names of six or seven teams from TNA’s past, and Storm suggests America’s Most Wanted. Roode says that means he would have to wrestle for both teams, and Storm says that would be AWESOME!

Jeremy Borash is with Mike Bennett in the back, and he cuts a promo about how he’s going to kill two birds with one Miracle, run through the best TNA has to offer, and save TNA by becoming the World Champion. He’s ready to draw his number for the gauntlet match, but Maria says the number will choose him, and that number is…well, we don’t find out. Bennett just folds the number back up and says he’s got this.

Beer Money comes out for their open challenge, and Robbie E comes out and says that Beer Money is great, but he has someone that he’s tanned with, gone to the gym with, and held the tag title twice with, and he brings out…JESSIE GODDERZ! Ah yes, this is what we needed.

TNA World Tag Team Title Match: Beer Money vs The Bromans

Roode and Robbie start us off with a fast exchange, then Storm and Jessie tag in and go back and forth until Jessie powerslams Storm for 2. Now the Bromans trap Storm in their half of the ring and ground him with a nerve hold. Storm gets free and double clotheslines Jessie, then makes the hot tag to Roode, who comes in and cleans house. Storm is up and double suplex to Jessie, but Robbie saves him coming down and they hit Roode with a Bro Attack for 2. Jessie gets Roode in the Adonis Lock, but Storm knocks Jessie into next week with the Last Call, then they hit the DWI on Robbie for the win.

Winners: Beer Money

Good match, Bromans made a good first test of Beer Money’s open challenge.

Decay is backstage, and Abyss says they’re together for reasons nobody will ever understand. Davey Ricahrds got caught in the bear trap of life, and if Eddie dares to fight one of them, it’s all going to end in Decay…Decay…DECAY.

Time to draw another number, and Eric Young comes in with Bram, shoves Borash out of the way, and cuts a raving promo about how dangerous he is and how everyone’s going to learn the hard way. They draw their numbers, and…WAIT, IS THAT WILLOW??? Hell no! Guess they still have a warehouse full of umbrellas they need to unload.

Eddie Edwards comes out to the ring and says he doesn’t care which member of Decay comes out, he wants to fight one of them right now!

Eddie Edwards vs Crazzy Steve

Eddie goes after Steve in the aisle, but gets distracted by Rosemary and Steve gets an opening to nail Eddie and dump him into the ring. Eddie takes Steve right back out with a dive, then rolls him into the ring and drills him with a shining wizard. Rosemary with another distraction, and Steve takes Eddie back to the floor with a Cactus clothesline. Eddie climbs the stairs and tries for a dive, but Rosemary grabs his ankle and allows Steve to yank him down back first on the steps, then nailed Eddie with a cannonball into the steps. Steve dumps a bunch of chairs into the ring with Rosemary’s help, and Steve just SMASHES one across Eddie’s back before giving him a drop toehold into a chair. Steve launches a chair at Eddie’s ribs before wedging chairs in each of the corners, he tries to ram Eddie into one, Eddie blocks, and he smashes Steve headfirst into one of them, then another, and eventually to all six corners. Eddie makes a cover, but Rosemary drags the referee to the floor at 2. She gets up on the apron to try and distract Eddie again, and Eddie dodges a charge from Steve, using his momentum to knock Rosemary to the floor, then rolls him up for the win.

Winner: Eddie Edwards

Excellent match!

Maria Kanellis is backstage saying that Gail says she doesn’t back up her words, but she pinned her last week, and that title belt means nothing in her hands. Maria’s going to change the Knockouts division, and we’re going to see how very soon.

Dixie Carter is backstage chewing Bobby Lashley out for everything he’s done the last couple of weeks, but if he wants this, he’s got it. Lashley says none of those guys are ready for him, and walks off. Gee, I wonder what that’s about?

Jeremy Borash brings in Jeff Hardy, who says that people keep sticking their noses in his title shots. Ethan Carter III comes in and says he was fine with Jeff joining into the title match, but then the cavalry came in. He says that if Mike Bennett wants to make his name off of him, that’s fine, because he’s going to punch Bennett in the face with the force of a thousand suns. They both draw their numbers, seem happy with them, and leave without spilling the business.

Gail Kim comes out for her Knockouts Title defense against Maria, and Maria comes out and gets a microphone and tells the referee to hold Gail back, because before everyone gets super duper excited about seeing Gail Kim wrestle one more time, she has something to say. She loves wrestling and that’s why she’s the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, but it wouldn’t change anything if she beat Gail one more time, so she went to TNA management and asked for something and got it. Before she tells Gail what that is, she has some special guests: the Dollhouse, who stroll out to the ring where Maria says she sees so much potential in them. They’re beautiful, powerful women, but they’ve had too many leaders who didn’t do anything special with them. They never had a leader like her, because she wants them to be unique and individuals, so she suggests they break up the Dollhouse and become women. Marti asks Maria if she’s crazy, and asks why she would trust Maria when she trusts her friends. Maria says Marti is so cute and fiery, but she doesn’t need Marti to trust her, just respect her and what she’s done because she respects all three of them and sees potential in them. That’s why she went to TNA management and asked if she could give her title shot to just one of the Dollhouse members. So, it’s going to have to be the death of the Dollhouse and a fight, because not only will they get her title shot, she’ll lead them to become stars, and that fight happens…after this commercial break!

#1 Contender’s Match: Jade vs Marti Belle vs Rebel

Jade and Marti shove Rebel away so they can talk things out, then put her down with a double sledge and put the boots to her. Marti stomps Rebel out in the corner, then whips Jade in for a double kneestrike to Rebel in the corner. They both cover Rebel, then get in each other’s faces until Rebel fires back at them with forearms and then drop her with Total Elimination. Marti goes for a cover and Jade pulls her off, and now Jade and Marti are starting to show cracks in their unity. They each get a half crab on Rebel, then release the hold(s) and start arguing until Rebel takes them both out with a double clothesline. Rebel comes off the top with a crossbody and covers both for 2. Rebel with an over the shoulder backbreaker on Marti and a roaring Yakuza kick on Jade. Marti trips Rebel and hits a rolling neckbreaker for 2, followed by a Russian legsweep for another 2. Jade nearly caves Rebel’s face in with a running Yakuza kick in the corner, then hits a snapmare and a charging kick for 2. Jade with a gutwrench suplex for 2 on Rebel, then they do a Tower of Doom spot. Marti with a roaring clothesline to Jade, Rebel with an O’Connor roll on Marti, and Jade just goes nuts unloading on both girls with a flurry of martial arts kicks. Jade gives Marti an STO onto Rebel and covers them both to claim the win.

Winner: Jade

Good match, probably the best Marti and Rebel have ever looked in the ring, but mostly I’m happy that this group seems to finally be dead. Hopefully they take that atrocious entrance music with them.

Jeremy Borash is backstage with Matt Hardy, Spud, and Tyrus, and Matt says he can’t believe the conspiracy against him, and he sees that Borash is part of the conspiracy. He draws his number for the Gauntlet and looks pissed, Tyrus draws his and doesn’t look any happier, and Spud draws his and looks pretty happy, so Matt snatches Spud’s number and gloats about the terrific number he got.

We look back at last week when Grado earned his TNA job back, and then we see him hanging around backstage with Mahabali Shera, and Grado is planning a celebration party for next week. Shera asks if Odarg is going to be there becaus Odarg owes him fifty dollars, and Grado says Odarg owes him money too, but that’s okay because we’re going to have a great party next week. This was so ridiculous and both guys speak such terrible English that I couldn’t help but crack up watching it.

Drew Galloway comes out to the ring and takes a mic before the main event starts because he says we can always expect this kind of craziness with Drew Galloway as champion. He says there’s been too much talking tonight, so he’s going to bugger off to the back so we can get this gauntlet started. Uh oh, Bobby Lashley comes out before Drew makes it out of the ring, and he makes his way around to the broadcast table where he messes with Pope before getting into the ring with the new champion. He congratulates Drew on becoming the new champion, and Drew says the fans want him to shut up. Lashley asks why the hostility, and he doesn’t need to tell Drew how tough he is because he can just ask Kurt Angle, or that little bitch (his words) Pope, or he can find out himself when he takes that title from him. Drew says he used to respect Lashley, but not after the way he’s been acting lately, and Lashley says he doesn’t need Drew’s respect, and that’s why he asked to be put in the gauntlet match. When he wins, Drew can kiss that title goodbye. Drew says if it’s time we fight, it’s time we fight, but before that can happen, Ethan Carter III comes out, and it seems that he and Lashley are the first entrants in the gauntlet, which will commence after this break!

#1 Contender’s Gauntlet Match: Ethan Carter III vs Bobby Lashley vs Jeff Hardy vs Mike Bennett vs Bram vs Eric Young vs Matt Hardy vs Tyrus vs Spud

EC3 and Lashley start us off, and Lashley uses his strength to muscle EC3 around the ring like a ragdoll. EC3 fires back and takes Lashley down with a shoulderblock. EC3 hits a Stinger splash and goes for a vertical suplex, but Lashley reverses as the clock counts down and Spud enters at #3. He goes right after his former boss, but gets laid out by EC3 and eats some hard chops until Lasshley attacks EC3 from behind and pops him over with a snap vertical suplex. Lashley just stands by and watches as Spud works EC3 over with a vengeance, then swoops back in to dish out more punishment to EC3 after he fights Spud off. Mike Bennett comes in at #4, and Spud tries to corral everyone to work together against EC3, and he appears to do so as Spud, Lashley, and Bennett work together to stomp EC3 out in the corner. EC3 fights valiantly, but is unable to overcome the odds, and things get even worse when Eric Young comes in at #5. Actually, Young attacks Spud and then goes after Bennett while Spud and Lashley continue to take it to EC3. Tyrus comes out next at #6, and this is starting to look really, really bad for EC3. EC3 dumps Spud before Tyrus makes it to the ring, and Tyrus takes his time getting in the ring as we go to commercial.

We’re back, and Bram entered at #7 during the commercial break, but Lashley spears everyone into next week as we come back. Lashley dumps Tyrus, and is promptly jumped by both Young and Bram. Lashley dodges a high knee and Bram instead connects with Young, who goes over the top to the floor, and then dumps Bram right after him. Bennett and EC3 are down, and Pope jumps up from the broadcast table, runs in behind Lashley, and dumps him over the top to eliminate him. Lashley gets back into the ring to go after Pope, but EC3 nails Lashley and clotheslines him over the top, then Pope dives over the top rope and brawls with Lashley all the way to the back while security tries to separate them. Matt Hardy comes out at #8, and immediately starts brawling with EC3 as Bennett recovers in the corner. Bennett joins Hardy in the EC3 beatdown, with Hardy hitting a corner clothesline and a bulldog on EC3 followed by Bennett drilling EC3 with a sweet leaping dropkick. Hardy with a Side Effect on EC3, and Bennett follows up with a Yakuza kick as we count down to #9, the final entrant: Jeff Hardy. Jeff goes after both his brother and Bennett, but Matt clips Jeff’s knee. EC3 wipes Matt and Bennett out with a double clothesline, but Bennett hits him with an Ace Crusher. EC3 eliminates Bennett with a clothesline, then Bennett pulls the Sid Trick and grabs EC3’s arm until Matt comes in from behind and eliminates EC3. We’re down to Matt vs Jeff, and they trade shots until Jeff goes for the Whisper In The Wind, and Matt shoves him off the top rope. Matt drops a series of legs and elbows on Jeff and then tries to eliminate him, and Jeff fights Matt off, but eats another Side Effect. Matt gets Jeff in a sleeper, Jeff counters to a jawbreaker, hits another, charges his brother, and dropkicks him into the corner. Jeff with the springboard corner dropkick, he dumps Matt to the ring apron, Jeff tries to suplex him back in, Matt blocks and pokes Jeff’s eye, and comes back in through the ropes. Matt hits a Twist of Fate, drags Jeff to his feet, and goes for the elimination. Jeff holds onto the ropes and lands on the apron, so Matt tries to piledrive him into the ring, but Jeff backdrops him to the floor for the win.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

I really hate finishes like that because they’re so obviously set up so that the person trying the move can get eliminated, but otherwise this was a fun main event. Drew Galloway comes out to the top of the ramp and holds the belt up as Jeff celebrates his win, and we’ve got our next World Title match set!

Source: PWInsider

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