We open the show with the Raw Chamber for the WWE Championship: Jericho, Miz, Ziggler, Truth, Kofi, Punk come to the ring in that order. Punk and Kofi start out with some solid wrestling. Ziggler joins Kofi and Punk first. Mid air collision between Punk and Kofi was awesome. Punk’s hip has been banged up from his slam by Kofi early on. Truth enters next and works on Ziggler. Punk hits flying elbow on Truth to eliminate him as he taunts Jericho. Miz is in next. Ziggler has taken more bumps than anybody in this match on the steel. Jericho enters last and Punk lets go of his vice on Miz. Ziggler and Kofi are spending a lot of time on the sidelines in this one. Maybe one will upset and win this thing? Jericho hits the lionsault on Punk for a two count. Jericho hits a codebreaker on Ziggler to eliminate him. Guess my upset theory was wrong. Jericho and Punk continue to brawl while Miz and Kofi rest. Jericho slams the pod door on Punk. Looks painful. Kofi does a double cross body on Punk and Miz. Jericho puts Kofi in the walls of Jericho until he taps out. Bye Bye Kofi. Thanks racist Vince. I wanted to be wrong about Jericho or Punk winning, but Miz as the dark horse isn’t looking good. Punk just kicked Jericho out of the Chamber after Jericho tosses Kofi out. Jericho can’t continue. Punk will now beat Miz and set up Punk/Jericho for Mania. Actually, with Jericho sitting on the floor, you know he will come back into the match and win the WWE Title. Miz continues to work on Punk. Punk pins Miz for the win after nailing the GTS. Guess Punk keeps his title after all.
^Solid open to the show. It’s hard to imagine anything else topping that tonight. Glad to see Punk hold onto the title and looking forward to his build towards WrestleMania with Chris Jericho.
Santino is shown in the Rocky gimmick trying to eat raw eggs and gets sick. Funny stuff!
Beth Phoenix takes on Tamina for her Divas Championship. Beth and Tamina work a very slow match together and Beth is able to pick up the win the glam slam.
^Tamina hits the superfly splash and Beth kicks out? What? So, let me get this straight. Tamina was built up as a strong dominant face, only to put over Beth Phoenix and make her look like an even stronger champion? Lame. Guess it will be Phoenix and Kharma at Mania after all. I don’t get it.
Santino punches a pork loin in a freezer. More Rocky humor. Too bad he might not even make it into the chamber.
Josh Mathews wants to interview Jericho, but he isn’t available yet. Jericho to enter the Smackdown Chamber match? It’s happened before, but it doesn’t seem likely this time. I’m sure we’ll hear from him on Raw tomorrow night. Highlight Reel anybody?
John Laurinaitis comes to the ring with David Otunga. He talks about wanting Teddy Long to suffer the same scrutiny he was under as GM. He’s interrupted by Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio insults Teddy Long and calls him corrupt. Why is there so much garbage talking on a pay per view? Mark Henry interrupts and says Long is a bully who assaulted him two weeks ago. Long says JL has never abused his power or thrown his weight around. Christian makes his return and puts over John Laurinaitis as well for being both the GM of Raw and Smackdown. Otunga wants a photo and they all pose together for a picture.
^Can I please get these few minutes of my life back? Boring and pointless promo that just feels like a big waste of time.
More Santino as Rocky running up some stone steps and doing the trumpet dance. I really hope this guy has a shot tonight at a good performance.
Big Show is interviewed by Josh Mathews. Mathews points out that Show has a horrible WrestleMania history. Show says he needs to walk out as the World Champion tonight. Too bad he’s going to lose and face Shaq at WrestleMania.
It’s time for the Smackdown Chamber match fpr the World Heavyweight Championship: Khali, Cody Rhodes, Santino, Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett and the Big Show. Show and Barrett start out the match together. Rhides enters third and Santino enters next. Santino takes Barrett down and then Show and Santino go at it. Show is clipped down by Rhodes and Rhodes works on Show. Rhodes hits an amazing moonsault on Barrett but only gets a two count. Rhodes looks really aggressive and dominant in this match. Khali is in next. This means the ultimate heel was the last entrant in both Chamber matches. Khali tosses each participant with his plunge one at a time. Khali then gets eliminated after being speared by the Big Show. Impressive showing from Khali(sarcasm). Show tries to get into Bryan’s pod and Bryan continues to taunt him. Show starts breaking the chains on the top of Bryan’s pod. Big Show climbs into the pod with Daniel Bryan. Show beats down Bryan and the crowd loves it! Bryan runs out of the pod as the door opens. Show grabs him and throws him back into it through the door. All of the competitors continue to brawl. Cody and Barrett work together and eliminate the Big Show. Very impressive showing from these two once again. Santino eliminates Cody Rhodes and sets up his feud for WrestleMania by the looks of it. Rhodes hits crossrhodes on Santino before exiting the chamber. Barrett comes in and goes for the pin on Santino but only gets two. Barrett beats down Santino. Barrett and Bryan brawl while Santino is hung up. Barrett dominates Bryan and slams him against the Chamber. Barrett smashes Bryan’s head with the pod door and only gets a two count. Bryan hits a flying knee to the skull of Barrett and smashes Barrett all around the chamber. This match is intense! Santino goes a suplex on Barrett but gets knocked off the ropes. Barrett misses a flying dive at Santino and Bryan hits a diving headbutt on Barrett. Santino pins Barrett! It’s down to Santino and Daniel Bryan! The crowd is going wild for Santino. Santino hits the cobra for a two count and Bryan locks in the labell lock for the tap out victory.
^That was quite possibly the most exciting chamber match I’ve ever watched. You knew Santino wasn’t going to win but it was great to see him have his opportunity here tonight. If that’s the closest he ever comes to a World Title, then good for him.
Sheamus comes to the ring after the Chamber match and slams Bryan. Looks like it will be Sheamus challenging Daniel Bryan for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 28.
Hornswoggle is shown eating cheese with Natalya. You know where this goes. Swagger and Vicky come into the scene. Hooray for Hornswoggle looking at Vicky’s legs and saying cottage cheese. Gabriel comes into the scene and gets put into a match for the US Title by Teddy Long.
^Sick of the Natalya storyline. Glad to see the US Title being half relevant tonight.
Jack Swagger takes on Justin Gabriel next. Swagger starts off dominant and shows off doing pushups while Gabriel is down. Swagger ultimately forces Gabriel to tap out as Swagger retains the gold.
^Thanks for the filler time WWE. Couldn’t have made the ambulance match a bit longer tonight or maybe given the divas another match that wasn’t performed in slow motion?
It’s time for the Ambulance Match between Kane and John Cena. Kane and Cena brawl all over the place. This reminds me of the Rumble. Kane dominates Cena and claws his face until he is knocked out. Cena recovers and they continue to brawl around the ambulance. He hits Kane with a wheelchair. Cena puts Kane in the chair and pushes him into a table. That was anti-climactic. Kane starts hitting Cena with electronics. They brawl around the technical area and then back to ringside. Cena grabs the mic and hits Kane with it. Cena asks Book if he is now in the fave five. Cena takes the monitor and hits Kane with it. Cena hits Kane with the steel steps. Cena is setting up to put Kane through the table. He hits Kane with the steps once again. Cena carries Kane up the steps only to get chokeslammed through the table by Kane. Kane goes and gets the stretcher. Kane goes to put Cena in the ambulance but Cena kicks the door open. Cena fights back and bashes Kane off the ambulance. Cena climbs up top and calls Kane to come with him. He gives Kane the AA off the ambulance! Would that count as un-cena like? I’m going to say yes. Cena puts Kane in the ambulance and wins the match as the ambulance pulls away.
^Not the most exciting main event for the night, but it is what it is. He did the un-cena like thing that I’ve been calling for since the Rumble. Makes me happy. Cena was held off the TLC card and destroyed at the Rumble, so I guess it wouldn’t be very nice of me to complain too much about his main event victory. He now has momentum headed towards WrestleMania for his match with The Rock.
Overall, I can’t complain about this show. Both Chamber matches far exceeded my expectations and were fun to watch. Smackdown’s was actually more fun for me than Raw’s and had me glued to my screen. The Divas match was slow but at least it wasn’t dragged out too badly. Impromptu filler time was pointless but that’s WWE for you. One good thing could come of this. Cena and Kane will hopefully not be the main event of a pay per view ever again! My star of the night was Santino Marella, and I’m thankful that WWE was smart enough to show this guy’s popularity in a major match and make him look like a possible contender. I like his odds for an IC Title match with Rhodes now. Punk is still champion and his feud with Jericho can really lift off starting on Raw tomorrow night. I’ll be back with more columns throughout this week, including Raw and Smackdown. Until next time, thanks for reading!