Tonight is a 24 Karat Production. We see footage of Aksana and her love of English language only to have immigration issue. If only someone could make sure that she stays in this country. A Knight in Shining Gold Face Paint came to her rescue. Tonight is the night when Aksana get to stay in country.
We are live on the World Wide Web from Bridgeport, Connecticut and your announcers are Michael ‘Don’t Blame Me, you know who I voted for’ Cole and Todd ‘I hope I catch the bouquet’ Grisham. Your host is Matt ‘Stand Up for the Teachers’ Striker.
Who will get eliminated tonight, but more importantly who will catch the garter and bouquet?
Matt Striker is in the ring and he brings out the five rookies and they are not wearing their bridesmaid dresses. We find out that Maxine is Michael Cole’s pick to win this competition.
Matt says that this is a special night and he mentions the wedding and the funeral for one of the rookies. Matt reminds us that winning competitions means immunity. Naomi has won three contests. Aksana cannot get immunity so she is excused from the competitions and she gets to prepare for her big night.
Matt says that one has to sweep the competitions to gain immunity. Since love is in the air, the first competition is a kissing contest. Matt says that he will need a special judge for the contest and it is the official mascot of NXT, Hornswoggle.
Matt asks Hornswoggle if he is ready and he grunts. Matt says that Hornswoggle gets to tell him which Diva made him ‘happiest inside’.
Kaitlyn is the first to go and Kaitlyn gets on her knees so they can be face to face. Hornswoggle hesitates at first and then he goes in for the kill. Hornswoggle has trouble getting up after the kiss.
Maxine is next but she doesn’t want to kiss Hornswoggle. She refuses to kiss Striker either. She says that Hornswoggle did this on purpose to mess with her. Maxine tells him to go. Hornswoggle leaves and he appears a bit dejected.
Cody Rhodes comes out and he is dressed very dashingly. He enters the ring and he says that they are all welcome. He says that he is here for his brother’s wedding, but this situation and scenario called for something or someone ‘dashing’. He says that he is here for that.
Kaitlyn now has to kiss a second man and Matt says that now she will have to kiss two men in the same night for the first time.
Cody checks on himself and he applies some lip balm as Kaitlyn waits for Cody to be finished. They kiss and Cody does not react the same way that Hornswoggle did so Kaitlyn tries again. Cody works his way to Maxine and he gets some breath spray and uses it on Maxine. Cody kisses Maxine’s wrist. Cody goes to Naomi and Naomi refuses.
She tells Cody that he is dashing but she wouldn’t kiss him if he was the last man on Earth. She refuses to kiss Cody after he kissed Maxine and Kaitlyn. Naomi doesn’t mind losing.
Cody says that he has plenty of ladies carrying around his bags and she has too much baggage for him.
Cody moves on to AJ and Cody files her nails before they kiss. He says that she has probably never kissed a boy and never stood across from such a dashing man, but he wants AJ to know that he is rooting for her.
AJ says that she might as well go for it and they end up on the mat and AJ composes herself.
Cody has a winner and it is AJ.
Matt sends it to the happy couple at the announce table. Cole shows off his tuxedo t-shirt and Josh says that he looks like Jerry Lawler.
It is time to see the rankings and AJ is now the only one who can catch Naomi since she has two wins.
Michael Cole says that the Bellas are his date for tonight.
AJ is walking in the back with Primo and he says that she looks good. Primo says that when he saw Cody kissing AJ, he felt a bit jealous. She says that she has wanted to tell Primo something and in case she is eliminated, she won’t be able to tell him. She wants to tell him in private.
They open a door and Dusty Rhodes is with the Bellas. Dusty says that they are having a private conversation. He says that there is no room at this inn. He tells Primo that he is looking good.
We go to e-merical.
Match Number One: Alicia Fox versus Kelly Kelly
Alicia pushes Kelly a few times and then Kelly with a Thesz Press. Alicia works on the arm but Kelly with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and Alicia goes to the apron. Alicia pulls Kelly to the floor. Kelly gets back into the ring and Alicia with a gutwrench back breaker and she stretches Kelly on her knee. Kelly with knees to Alicia to get out of the hold. Kelly with a jawbreaker but Alicia with an Eve Torres drop kick. Alicia misses the scissors kick and Kelly with a sunset flip for a near fall. Kelly with a kick and then she hits the K2 for the three count.
Winner: Kelly Kelly
AJ and Primo are still looking for a room to have their private talk and they enter a room with Maxine kissing Hornswoggle. She says that she thought he was choking and she was giving him CPR. AJ and Primo look for another room.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for the Physical Challenge. Matt reminds everyone of the standings for Immunity. This challenge is the Wedding Gift Scramble. There is a flag in one of the presents and the person who finds the flag wins the competition.
Kaitlyn is the winner of the challenge and that means that Naomi has immunity.
It is time to remind everyone about how bad everyone is who criticizes WWE because they don’t really know about WWE. Time to Stand Up for WWE.
Michael talks about how ‘standing up’ for the WWE is a family thing. You can go to wwe.com to see people Standing Up for WWE.
We go to commercial with a look at the wedding invitation.
We are back and the ring is getting prepared for the wedding.
While we wait for the nuptials, Josh and Cole show some emotion talking about the WWE Title match and what might happen to John Cena.
AJ and Primo find a private spot that is only accessible by cameras. AJ and Primo see Kaitlyn and Dolph having a bit of fun and then we see Vickie Guerrero leave the stage and she is hunting Kaitlyns. Kaitlyn and Dolph try to explain what they saw. Kaitlyn is pushed by Vickie. Kaitlyn takes the wedding cake and throws it on Vickie. Vickie screams.
The ring is almost ready for the wedding. We go to commercial with the life partners arguing at the announce table.
We are back and did you know that Smackdown is the top show on SyFy since the show debuted on SyFy.
The groom’s party comes out first.
Hornswoggle comes out since he is the ringbearer.
The groom comes out to his entrance music (because every wedding needs entrance music). Goldust is in his facepaint and he has his Million Dollar Belt while Josh tears down the fourth wall and says that this wedding isn’t real.
Since she is only a rookie, Aksana comes to the ring to the wedding march. Aksana is in a gold dress.
The priest says that they each have written their vows.
Goldust says that Aksana looks beautiful. He says that he knows that their relationship has been bizarre and untraditional. She will never forget the name . . .
Aksana thank Goldust for saving her. She promise that she love him as much as she love country. Aksana start USA chant.
The priest asks if anyone objects to the wedding. Despite the crowd’s apparent objection, the priest objects. He says that everyone has a price.
Ted DiBiase’s music plays and he comes out with Maryse. Ted says that this isn’t the first time that money has ruined a marriage. Ted says that this means that Goldust’s mail order bridge to be will be deported. Ted brings out the Immigration agent and he has handcuffs. Ted says that there is one thing he can do to save this pathetic sham of a wedding and Goldust knows what that is. He wants his Million Dollar Title back.
Dusty gets on the mic and he says that he knew that something like this was gonna happen. Dusty went to Rome and the Pope was busy so he went to Mississippi and he found a Southern minister with a hound dog. Dusty brings out the minister and it is . . .
Ted DiBiase (to the real Million Dollar Music).
Ted comes to the ring and Michael Cole cannot believe that Ted would stab his son in the back with this betrayal.
Dad says that he did it for the look on his son’s face because it is priceless.
Ted says that it is time for the ceremony.
Goldust says ‘I Do’.
Aksana say ‘I Do’ too.
They are officially married and Ted tells Goldust he can kiss his bride. Dad jumps in for the first kiss. Aksana slap Goldust instead of kissing him and she leaves the ring.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of the wedding ceremony as Aksana slapped Goldust since she got the ring on her finger.
The rookies are at ringside and Matt says that it is time for one of the rookies to be removed from the competition. Matt reminds us that Naomi is immune from elimination. It is time to go to the Random WWE Tron Elimination Generator and the person who is going home is Maxine.
Maxine is asked to give her parting words. She says that she understands that it is hard to wrap your mind around something different. She says that she is not the typical diva or woman. She says that she will be back and she will make sure that she reaches where she belongs and that is . . . on top.
She takes the walk of shame and Alicia hugs her former rookie.
We go to credits.