TNA iMPACT Report – 9/30/10
Tonight’s episode opens with a recap of last week’s festivities involving Abyss and the returning Rob Van Dam, along with the announcement that they will face one another at Bound For Glory on 10/10/10.
Backstage, Kurt Angle is on the phone with Hulk Hogan and thanking him for his support while also promising that he will win the title at Bound For Glory. Angle continues by promising that he’ll take care of Abyss tonight in a cage match, but he has to go because a backstage hand tells him that the show’s starting. Uh…it’s actually already started, Kurt. Good thing we had a camera backstage so we knew why Impact wasn’t starting on time.
Okay, now that Kurt’s ready, he comes out to the ring for our show opening promo segment. Angle says he knows that Hulk Hogan is somewhere in some hospital bed recovering from another back injury, and wishes him well and says the Impact Zone misses him. The crowd cheers and starts chanting Hogan’s name. That is so depressing. Angle thanks Hogan for the confidence he has in him, but the only things standing between him and the TNA World Title are Jeff Hardy and Ken Anderson, and they’re both great competitors, but Angle promises Hogan that he will not let him down. As for the favor Hogan asked of him tonight, Angle promises not to let him down on that, either. Abyss has caused way too much damage as of late by taking out Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy, and he keeps warning everybody about 10/10/10, but Angle’s warning Abyss about 9/30/10, because tonight he’s going to cut the cancer that is Abyss out of TNA. Compliments of Hulk Hogan, tonight’s main event will be Kurt Angle against Abyss in a cage match. Abyss’ music hits and Abyss comes stalking out of the crowd towards the ring, so Angle does the smart thing and dashes out of the ring and after the guy who’s gone around crippling every main eventer in the company. The brawl goes backstage, and it’s a good thing they had the Kurt Is Late Cam backstage, because now it’s following the two of them around the backstage area. Abyss rams Kurt into the wall before bashing him in the face with a ladder, then takes a chair and goes after Kurt with it, but Kurt kicks Abyss in the gut and gets ahold of the chair, slamming it across Abyss’ back and then stomping Abyss into oblivion. Angle chokes Abyss out while telling Abyss that if he wants to cripple him like he did to Rob Van Dam and Abyss, he’s up against a completely different animal. Of course, this animal also has a groin, which Abyss punches him in before repeatedly unloading on Angle with rights. Angle comes back with a shot in the groin of his own, but the D-Lo Brown Militia (aka security) comes running in to separate them before it gets too out of hand.
Backstage, the D-Lo Brown Militia is trying to calm Angle down when Abyss comes out of nowhere to try and attack Angle again. The Militia get between them immediately and pull them apart as Angle yells at Abyss that he has his number.
Time for our first match…
Lumberjack Match: Beer Money vs Tommy Dreamer & Rhino
EV2.0 rushes the ring and they start brawling right away. Storm bails out to the floor as Tommy hits a crossbody on Roode and punches his face in. Tag out to Rhino and they whip Roode in for a double back elbow for 2. Rhino whips Roode into the corner and gets a backdrop coming out. Rhino sets for the Gore and Roode bails to the floor to escape, but then realizes he’s right next to Sabu and rolls back in. Storm catches Rhino in the back of the head with a leaping enziguiri and tags in and starts choking Rhino. Snapmare and a pair of kneedrops gets 2 for Storm, then Roode tags in and whips Rhino into the fopes and follows him in with a knee to the gut, does it again, and finishes the combo with a back suplex for 2. Tag back out to Storm and they get a double vertical suplex and do the BEER…MONEY! thing. Incidentally, I don’t find that as dumb as I guess a lot of people do. They’re not supposed to be doing it to pop the crowd, they’re supposed to be doing it to piss them off. Anyway, Rhino rolls out to the floor and gets beaten up by Fortune and then rolled back in the ring where Roode covers him for 2. Roode with a bearhug from the side, but Rhino escapes and they go blow-for-blow until Rhino grabs Roode and delivers a belly to belly suplex and makes the hot tag. Dreamer comes in and goes to work on Storm and then baseball slides Roode off the apron. Storm goes for the superkick, but Dreamer blocks and traps Storm in a Crippler Crossface. Roode breaks it up, but Rhino goes after him and both men tumble over the top and wind up in the middle of a big Fortune-EV2.0 brawl on the floor. AJ Styles gets up on the apron and spits something in Dreamer’s eyes, and Brian Kendrick jumps up on the apron and tackles Styles to the floor as Roode rolls up Dreamer for 2. Dreamer suddenly gets the Death Valley Driver out of nowhere and covers Roode for the win.
Winners: Tommy Dreamer & Rhino
Sabu comes in after the match and sets up a chair, then hits a triple jump dive to the floor to wipe out Fortune. Mick Foley gets a microphone and says that’s enough, he doesn’t want to see any more fighting or bodies outside the ring, he wants to see two people inside the ring. He tells Ric Flair that they’ve been going around and around for a long time, and it’s about time they resolve their differences, so he’s inviting Flair into the ring to clear the air. EV2.0 try to get in Flair’s face, but Foley tells them to let him through because they need to have a conversation. Looks like we’ll find out their thoughts on the upcoming midterm elections…after this commercial!
Okay, we’re back and Ric Flair asks Foley if he wanted to talk to Ric Flair: The Wrestling God? Flair asks if they’re on the air, and Foley says they are and he wants to talk to Ric Flair: The Man face to face right now. Flair asks Foley “What do you want to talk about, you asshole?” Foley says the world is focused on 10/10/10, the biggest show of the year, but he thinks that he and Flair need to focus on some other numbers, such as 10/7/10. He talked to Dixie Carter and said it’s time for Mick Foley and Ric Flair to settle their differences on 10/7/10, and he’s asking Flair to meet him in the ring, one week from tonight when they go live, in the ring for the very last time. Flair drops the mic and walks out of the ring, and grabs a copy of Mick Foley’s latest book out of the hands of some fat broad at ringside. Flair picks the mic back up and asks if he, the bestselling author, father, and couch potato want to wrestle him live? Then he tells Foley to watch this, and he puts the book down, stomps it, elbowdrops it, kneedrops it, and then punts it out of the ring. He calls Foley a son of a bitch and asks him how he’s going to get out of it. Foley says he hasn’t shown himself to be much of a wrestler out here for a long time, and people have wondered if Foley loves wrestling as much as all his outside interests. Up until a couple of weeks ago, the answer was no, but once he realized how much he hated to admit it, he needed Flair to bring out the best in him. Flair says that’s what he does, he brings out the best in everybody, then punches himself in the head until he bleeds. Foley says two can play this game, and punches himself in the face until he bleeds. Flair says Foley is out of shape and Foley tells him to take his best shot, but Flair says that next week, he’s going to have his whole family there to see the end of Foley and EV2.0. Flair says that Tommy Dreamer, who he respects as a man, told Flair that he is hardcore. Foley asks Flair how long he’s been in the business, and Flair says 39 years. Foley says it took him nearly 40 years to realize he’s hardcore and that he’s what the wrestling business is all about. Foley says that he’s renewed and has been the Nature Boy that he hasn’t been in many years. Flair says that next Thursday he’s going to beat Foley within an inch of his life. Foley says he feels like he’s been coasting since he’s been back here at TNA, and he asks Flair that next Thursday night, he wants him in a Last Man Standing match. Flair says that like his infamous saying goes, two men walk down that aisle and one walks out, and Foley’s got it. Flair tells Foley that if he wins, he’ll kiss Foley’s ass and starts going WOO at him and convulsing before bailing out of the ring. Foley finishes by saying that one week from tonight, he’ll see Flair in the ring, BANG BANG!
Backstage, Ken Anderson says he’s been going through the call log on his cell phone and doesn’t see any calls from Hulk Hogan, and asks Eric Bischoff if Hogan knows there’s anyone else in that match. Bischoff says that Hogan and Angle have a lot in common because they’ve both carried companies on their backs for years, and not to take it personally. But Bischoff knows what Anderson’s all about, and that’s why he’s booked Anderson against Samoa Joe tonight. Anderson says that Bischoff ought to bet on him beating Samoa Joe tonight and then winning the $100,000 battle royal next week.
Up next, Generation Me battles Ink Inc, and also the Motor City Machine Guns are backstage, and they’re…WALKING!
We go to Mike and Taz, and they run down the card for Bound For Glory, and then send us back to the ring for our next match…
Generation Me vs Ink Inc
GenMe have the tag title belt they stole from Chris Sabin last week. Jeremy kicks Shannon Moore in the gut and whips him to the corner, but Moore leapfrogs over him, gets a couple of armdrags, punches him in the face, and hits a legdrop to the crotch for 2. Jeremy tags out to Max, but Moore armdrags him too, and then tags out to Jesse Neal. They wipe Max out with a double shoulderblock and then Moore hiptosses Neal on top of Max for 2. Neal gets a dropkick for another 2, whips Max across the ring and charges, but Max gets the boot up and goes to the top for a moonsault move, but he comes down wrong on his leg and rolls out to the floor clutching his leg. Neal hesitates, so Jeremy runs in from behind and gives Neal a neckbreaker and then Max, miraculously healed, slides back in the ring and puts the boots to Neal. Jeremy tags in and Max pops him up into a dropkick on Neal and covers for 2. Max back in and he HITS THE CHINLOCK! Neal elbows out but Max dropkicks him right in the face and tags back out to Jeremy, who runs in and immediately cradles Neal for 2. Jeremy with another tag to Max, but Max accidentally clotheslines Jeremy and Neal makes the hot tag to Moore, who comes off the top rope with a flying bodypress and gets a series of dropkicks on Max. Moore with a leg lariat for 2, but Jeremy comes in and they try to double team Moore, but Moore gets a double Frankensteiner on both of them and pitches Jeremy to the floor. Moore with a Lionsault on Max for 2, and then all four men wind up in the ring. Neal misses a charge and hits the ringpost as Max gets a low kick and rolls Moore up for the win.
Winners: Generation Me
GenMe grab the title belt and start to leave, but then decide to rush back into the ring and beat Ink Inc up some more. They go for the double DDT, but the Motor City Machine Guns run out and GenMe heads for the hills. Sabin grabs his belt and makes angry faces at GenMe.
Backstage, Samoa Joe says he’s appreciative of getting the match with Anderson because he’s a top contender, and when he beats him, it puts him in contention so he can become the World Champion. Oh, and one last thing, Anderson’s right about one thing: he is an asshole.
Backstage, the MCMGs say that they’ve waited four years to get the TNA World Tag Team Title, and if GenMe thinks they’re going to take the title, they’re sadly mistaken. They’re going to see them in the battle royal next week, and revenge will be sweet.
Time for our next match…
Ken Anderson vs Samoa Joe
Before the match starts, the Pope’s music hits and he comes strolling out to join Mike and Taz on commentary. Oh, and it looks like Sting and Kevin Nash are with him. Oh yeah, and go visit Dixie Carter’s Twitter. Joe takes Anderson to the corner and starts kicking the crap out of him. Anderson goes to a side headlock, but Joe rams him to the corner and knocks him silly with a leaping enziguiri. Joe sees Pope at the broadcast booth and shoots him a dirty look. Joe continues destroying Anderson, chopping and kicking him in the corner and choking him with his boot. Anderson fires back at Joe with rights and rams him to the corner, and now he starts stomping Joe down. Anderson goes off the ropes but Joe charges and bowls right over him. Joe with the facewash in the corner and then glances back over at Pope before covering for 2. Mike and Taz are trying to get some understanding of Pope’s situation with Sting and Nash, but as usual we get nothing useful so I’ll just tune them out. Anderson gets a boot to Joe’s face on a backdrop attempt, and then a back elbow and a clothesline gets 2. Joe dodges a kick and Joe gets the Kokina Clutch, but Anderson gets a jawbreaker and the Mic Check and covers for 3.
Winner: Ken Anderson
Kevin Nash leaves the broadcast area and goes down to the ring with a bat to try and talk some sense to Joe. Nash tells Joe to leave Jeff Jarrett and join them, and they glare at each other…and we go to commercial.
Okay, we’re back and during the break, Joe left the ring, so now Nash and company are in the ring and Nash has a mic. He says that bad things happen to bad people, and it’s amazing that Hulk Hogan is in a hospital bed right now, isn’t it? For seven months, Sting’s been telling everyone what’s been going on since Hogan and Bischoff came on board. Nash says that he guesses everyone’s been duped by them, but the three guys in the ring know exactly what’s going on. Pope says that Nash and Sting have been around the block a few things, and if there’s anyone who knows anything about running with wolves, it’s two guys who have run their own pack. It amazes Pope how Bischoff can keep trying to pull the wool over the eyes of Pope, but Pope is calling him out as a liar and a son of a Bischoff. This is a street war, and Hogan and Bischoff are coming out on the losing end. Sting says it’s all about Hogan and himself, and it started back in WCW. IT’s a classic case of good and evil, and Sting asks the crowd if they came to see the good guys (crowd boos) or the bad guys (cheers). Sting wants to know who’s wearing the black and white hat, and there’s only one sure way to answer the question: Nash and Sting against Joe and Jarrett, and Sting wants to add to that and make it a six man by adding Pope, and then he tells Hogan to lace them up one more time and join up with Joe and Jarrett. No more games: at Bound For Glory, let’s show the world what’s really going on.
Eric Bischoff’s music hits and Miss Tessmacher comes out…oh, and she’s got Bischoff with her. Eric says this is beyond disappointing, it’s actually disgusting. With Bound For Glory right around the corner, these three are in the ring showing their true colors. Bischoff says he sees two guys, Nash and Sting, who are at the end of their career and their best days are behind them, but Pope is still green behind the ears and has a lot to earn. This goes back to WCW 15 years ago when Bischoff tried to convince them that it was time to start working with the younger talent, but they just sat their and pouted when they didn’t get their way. Nash has always been self serving and all about him and that’s no surprise, but Pope is the one in the trifecta that disappoints him the most because he was in the World Title picture, but he lost along the way and bitched about it, so Bischoff gave him another chance and he blew it, and now he’s crying about it. Ask Angle, Hardy, and Anderson if there’s a conspiracy and they’ll tell you they’re looking forward to Bound For Glory. They sit there like three cowards calling out Hulk Hogan, who’s been in the hospital with a bad back, but Bischoff will tell them that Hulk Hogan will be here live, next week, and he’ll answer for himself, and he hopes they like the answer.
Backstage, AJ Styles asks Brian Kendrick if he has a death wish by hanging out with EV2.0 and coming after him. AJ says he’s willing to put the TV Title on the line, and he’ll see him out there. He tells Flair that he dropped his wallet, so Flair bends over and picks up…another Smirnoff Ice. He says he needed a drink anyway, so he chugs ALMOST the whole thing, goes WOO a bunch of times like Curly, and walks off.
Madison Rayne and Tara are backstage with Miss Tessmacher, who is reading them the riot act and telling them that she has the power to fire both of them. Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, and Lacey Von Erich come in and a brawl almost breaks out, but Tessmacher tells them to stop or she’ll fire them all. Tessmacher asks Madison if she brought the waiver to allow Tara back in the ring, and Madison says she’ll do whatever she needs to do to get her back in the ring because she gave Tara a job when she was out and flat on her ass. Madison yells at Angelina and…you know what, screw it. I’m not recapping this entire mess. The bottom line is that there’s going to be a four way match at Bound For Glory for the Knockouts Title that I assume will include all of them but Lacey. Other than that, total Jerry Springer segment. Miss Tessmacher kicks them all out, then her cell phone rings. Someone wants to see her in 20 minutes for the usual. I’ll refrain from the obvious joke.
Okay, back to the ring for the next match…
TV Title Match: AJ Styles vs Brian Kendrick
Hey, cool! The TV Title is going to be defended on TV for the first time in like two months! They must be modeling it after the ROH TV Title. Ric Flair comes to the broadcast booth before the match and says that TNA doesn’t know what they got themselves into, but he’s going to take Foley out next week because he’s a wrestling god. Back in the ring, Kendrick takes AJ to the corner and breaks clean, so AJ kicks him in the gut and gets a headlock. Kendrick tries to roll through but AJ hangs onto the head, so Kendrick whips AJ to the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but AJ moves and Kendrick misses completely. AJ rams Kendrick to the corner and chops him, then whips Kendrick to the opposite corner and tries a charge, but Kendrick dodges and gets a dropkick and a flying forearm, then an O’Connor roll for 2. AJ with a back suplex and then chokes Kendrick on the ropes, and then distracts the ref so Matt Morgan can choke him too. AJ drags Kendrick back to the middle of the ring and covers for 2, then stomps a mudhole in Kendrick. Kendrick catches the boot and nails AJ with a clothesline and a series of dropkicks, but AJ wipes him out with a back elbow and tries a whip, but Kendrick counters with a nasty dropkick to the mouth and a tornado DDT. Kendrick goes to the top, but suddenly turns and dives onto Morgan instead. AJ tries a dive to the floor but Kendrick saw him coming and nailed him with a kick to the face, then goes up top for something, but Flair grabs the ankle and crotches him on the top rope, and AJ casually ppulls him off and hits the Styles Clash for the win.
Winner: AJ Styles
Backstage, Abyss says Kurt Angle’s not making it to Bound For Glory, and tonight, he’s going to take him out because THEY told him to. He’ll see Rob Van Dam at Bound For Glory, and challenges him to make it Monster’s Ball Rules.
Rob Van Dam it back in California and says it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to return like he did last night, but it’s always been about him putting his body on the line. He’s just hoping the doctors will clear him in time for Bound For Glory, and he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize his health before then.
Don’t forget: next week, it’s Before The Glory as TNA Impact goes live next Thursday!
It’s main event time!
Cage Match: Abyss vs Kurt Angle
Angle goes right after Abyss, taking him to the corner and pounding on his skull. Abyss collapses in the corner, so Angle puts the boots to him and then picks him up and rams him into the cage. Angle continues unloading on Abyss, but tries a charge and Abyss runs right over him. Now Abyss starts whaling away on Angle in the corner and then chokes him. Abyss whips Angle to the corner and tries a charge, but Angle gets the boot up and comes off the second rope with a shoulderblock and covers for 2. Angle rams Abyss to the cage again and chokes him with the boot again. Angle picks up Abyss and…that’s right, ramns him to the cage again! Now Angle goes to the corner and grabs Janice, then decides against it and tosses it over the top of the cage to ringside. Oh, time for a commercial!
Okay, we’re back and Angle is still beating Abyss up, but Abyss catches him with a big boot to the face and then uses Angle’s best move, the ram into the cage, against him, and then does it again! That’s cold. Angle’s busted open, so Abyss repeatedly rams his fist into Angle’s skull and rams him into the cage a third time. We get an AWESOME shot of Angle laying on the mat with blood literally flowing out of his head and pooling on the mat. Abyss picks Angle up over his shoulder for a powerslam, but Angle slips out the back and clips Abyss’ knee out from under him. Now Angle gets on top of Abyss and starts raining punches down on him, then goes up to the top rope and comes off with a frogsplash for 2. Angle’s face is just COVERED with blood as he charges Abyss again, but gets goozled. Abyss goes for a chokeslam but Angle rolls through and gets the ankle lock. Abyss kicks Angle off and chokeslams him for 2. Abyss charges Angle in the corner but Angle moves and tries for the Angle Slam, but Abyss slips out the back and gets Shock Treatment for a close 2. Abyss goes to the second rope but takes his time, so when he goes for his splash Angle moves, then pulls down the straps and goes for the Angle Slam, but only gets 2. Angle tells the ref to open the door, but then tells him to stop and instead decides to drag Abyss out to the middle of the ring and climb his way up in the corner. Angle goes all the way to the top of the cage, but Abyss has recovered and made it to his feet and…we’re out of time!
But luckily, Reaction starts right after Impact, so we start the show with the continuation of the match. Abyss chokeslams the ref, but Angle saw him, so he dives off the top of the cage and Abyss catches him coming down and hits the Black Hole Slam! That was awesome. Abyss rams Angle to the corner and goes for another chokeslam, and gets it. Oh, but no ref. Abyss goes over to check on the referee, but he’s not very responsive, so instead he goes over and grabs Angle by the throat, but before he can do any more damage, Ken Anderson runs out. He climbs the cage and drops down into the ring and goes after Abyss, who was waiting patiently for him. Anderson beats the tar out of Abyss, but Abyss gets a knee to the gut and rams him into the cage twice before hitting another Black Hole Slam on Anderson. Crowd starts chanting for Hardy, but he doesn’t show. Instead, Abyss rips the cage door off the hinges and goes out to get Janice. He brings her back in the ring but Angle attacks him as he comes back in and Abyss backs off. Angle picks up Janice and…we cut to the Reaction opening. Is that the end of the match? Guess so. Let’s call it…
Lame ending to an otherwise awesome match.
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