We are live from Dallas, Texas and your announcers are Matt ‘Live from the New Generation Sportatorium’ Striker and Todd ‘Can I read from the Commodore 64 GM Lite’ Grisham.
Dolph Ziggler comes to the ring with Vickie Guerrero.
Match Number One: Dolph Ziggler versus Montel Vontavious Porter for the Intercontinental Title
They lock up and Porter takes Ziggler to the mat and they stay locked up until Porter backs Ziggler into the ropes. Ziggler with punches and then he hits a fireman’s carry and gets a near fall. Ziggler with a series of elbow drops followed by a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler tries for the sleeper but Porter sends Ziggler into the turnbuckles and he escapes the hold. Porter with a series of German suplexes and then he hits a modified Yakuza kick for a near fall.
Porter with a punch followed by an overhead belly-to-belly throw and Ziggler goes to the floor.
Nexus comes out and they attack Dolph Ziggler. The referee calls for the bell.
They send Ziggler into the ringside barrier and then they circle the ring and Porter is ready for them. They enter the ring together and they circle him. Porter punches Tarver and Slater as the Pips attacks Porter. They hold Porter for Otunga to give him the World’s Most Dangerous Spinebuster. They drag Porter towards the corner for the hesitation 450 Splash.
Big Show comes out to the ring and the B Team is ready for him. Show gets to the apron and they go after Show. Show fights them off and Slater climbs on Show’s back to take him to the mat. They work over Show as they take advantage of the situation.
John Cena’s music plays and he runs to the ring and he goes after Slater. The other three join in and they work over Cena. Big Show has a chair and he hits Slater in the back with it. Nexus leaves the ring.
Wade Barrett is on the TitanTron and he says that this is a monumental moment because this is the last time that John Cena will receive a beating at the hands of the Nexus. Wade reminds us of the stipulation for Sunday night. Wade reminds Cena that if Cena loses, he will be under the orders of Wade. If Cena wins, Nexus disbands.
Wade says that he is close friends with the president of this network. Wade will be able to suggest some matches to make this the most exciting premiere.
Teddy Long reads that Big Show will be in a Five on One Handicap Match against the Nexus. John Cena will face the Devil’s Favorite Demon, Kane.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Michael ‘My ears are bleeding’ Cole joins Matt and Todd at the announce table.
Match Number Two: Michelle McCool, Layla, Maryse, and Alicia Fox versus Kelly Kelly, Natalya, and the Bellas
Alicia and Kelly start things off and Alicia with a kick but Kelly escapes a slam. Alicia and Kelly with a double clothesline and Maryse tags in and so does Natalya. She hits a few suplexes on Maryse followed by a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. Natalya sets for the Sharpshoter but Michelle with a boot to Natalya and she kicks Natalya to the floor. The Bellas send Michelle to the floor. Alicia sends the Bellas to the floor. Layla goes to check on Michelle but an arm reaches from under the ring and Hornswoggle appears. She chases Layla around the ring as she runs over the fallen bodies on the floor. Michelle with a big boot to Hornswoggle but Natalya with a baseball slide to Michelle and Layla. Maryse with a kick and she tries for the DDT but Natalya blocks it and she puts Maryse in the Sharpshooter and Maryse tap out and feel much shame.
Winners: Natalya, Kelly Kelly, and The Bellas
The winning team celebrates with Hornswoggle as we go to commercial.
We are back and the ring is ready for the All American American Homecoming for ‘The King’ Jack Swagger and he is accompanied by an eagle.
Swagger says that they say you can’t come home. He thanks everyone. What would the premiere of Smackdown on Syfy in Oklahoma City be without Oklahoma’s own All American American American American Jack Swagger. Jack says that he has a huge announcement. This will be a great day in the history of Oklahoma. Jack says that he has a problem with every Oklahoman in this building. He has a problem with the State of Oklahoma. He says that he put Oklahoma on the map and he doesn’t even get a Jack Swagger parade. Jack wants his proclamation for Jack Swagger Day. Jack hasn’t even received the key to Oklahoma City and he wonders whatupwiththat. Jack says that is why him and his mascot the Swagger soaring eagle have moved from Oklahoma. He moved to a place where people have class and everything is bigger. Jack says that he has moved to Texas. Jack says that Texas is a state of winners and they will prove it when Texas beats Oklahoma. Jack says that it will be a Texas blow out.
Jack says that despite they did not throw a parade for him or proclaim a Jack Swagger Day, he is still going to give back to Oklahoma. He says that he will be a role model and he says that he is their king. Jack says that there is only one person who can do this. He proclaims himself the official Undisputed King of Oklahoma. Jack gets a crown and he puts it on his head. Jack wants everyone to get on their knees and worship him.
Edge’s music plays and he comes out to the ring. Swagger tells Edge that this is his coronation and they are kind of busy worshiping him.
Edge says that after he was involved with the ridiculousness on Raw, he decided to go on a mission of epic proportions of anything that is stupid. Striker says goodbye to Michael Cole. Swagger says that he has his own mascot and that isn’t stupid, it is cool. Swagger tells Edge not to call the Swagger Soaring Eagle stupid. Edge mocks Swagger’s speech and calls it stupid. Edge calls everything about Swagger tonight, stupid. Edge says that he is going to start his mission right now. Swagger hides behind the eagle and the Eagle makes the mistake of touching Edge.
Edge punches the Eagle and Swagger yells at Edge from outside the ring. The Eagle struggles to get to its feet and Edge pulls his hair and he wants the Eagle to get up and there is a new endangered species as Edge hits the spear.
Nexus are in the locker room and Wade tells them that they were impressive, but if they want to make history, they need to push the envelope. Wade says that if anyone on Smackdown touches them, they will be suspended indefinitely. Wade mentions that they will be the lumberjacks in the Kane/Cena match as we go to commercial.
We are back with a Dashing Cody Rhodes Grooming Tip. He says that there is nothing more embarrassing than the sight of extreme perspiration after a hard day of work. We have all seen the men with wet spots the size of Lake Superior under their arms. Cody says that the smell is just as bad. Cody tells you to take your anti-persperant or deodorant. He shows the proper way to apply to the underarm area. Cody says that is how to get one step closer to Dashing.
We see what happened during the opening match tonight when Nexus attacked Dolph Ziggler and Montel Vontavious Porter. Then the attack on Big Show and John Cena.
Match Number Three: Big Show versus Nexus in a Handicap Match
All five men go after Show and Barrett is the first to attack Show. Show pushes them all away and he throws Gabriel and Slater out of the ring. Slater and Gabriel grab Show’s leg. Barrett with a running boot into the corner and then Tarver with a double sledge and all five attack Show. Barrett with a head scissors on Show and then the others go after an appendage to quarter him. Even though Show’s shoulders were down for about fifteen seconds, the referee stops the match because it looks like Show is out.
After the match, Justin Gabriel goes up top for the hesitation 450 Splash and he hits it. Barrett tells Gabriel to go up top one more time. Gabriel with a second 450 splash and he connects around Show. Nexus celebrate in the ring.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Did you know that 2.9 Billion People have watched Smackdown.
We have a Moments Ago Moment of Big Show being helped to the back as he holds his ribs.
It is time for a Kane/Undertaker video package for their match at Hell in a Cell.
Match Number Four: CM Punk versus Undertaker with Paul Bearer
Punk backs into the corner and he avoids Taker and punches him. Punk with knees in the corner but the referee pulls him out. Taker sends Punk into the corner but Punk goes over the top rope to the floor. Taker goes after Punk and he sends Punk into the ringside barrier. Taker with a kick to the back of the head and then he hits the guillotine leg drop on the apron. Punk does not like being in the match as Taker sends him back into the ring. Taker gets a near fall.
Taker works on the arm and shoulder as he sets for Old School and hits it. Taker misses a boot in the corner and Punk works on the knee and chokes him in the corner. Punk with punches and kicks followed by a shoulder in the corner. Punk with the running knee and he hits the bulldog. Taker sits up and Punk freaks out. Taker with a clothesline and then he sends Punk into the turnbuckles and he hits a splash in the corner. Taker with snake eyes followed by a boot to the head and a leg drop for a near fall. Taker signals for the choke slam and he hits it. Taker signals that it is over and he hits the Tombstone Piledriver on Punk and gets the three count.
After the match, Paul Bearer holds up the urn while Taker poses in the ring and it goes blue.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Smack of the Night: Alberto Del Rio injuring his amigito Rey Mysterio.
Ricardo Rodriguez is introduced so we can get the introduction for Alberto Del Rio, who drives into the arena.
We see footage of Alberto Del Rio injuring Christian last week with the cross arm breaker.
Alberto reminds us who he is, but everyone already knows that. He says that it has been a great debut on Syfy. John Cena, Nexus, and the Undertaker are here. There is someone else. The Mexican icon, one of the greatest luchadores of all time . . . Alberto Del Rio. Alberto says that he is here to introduce everyone to a man he exposed, a powerless, weak person. A few weeks ago, he broke his arm. Tonight, he is here to say I’m Sorry and to give him a big kiss right on the cheek. He brings out Rey Mysterio.
Ricardo brings out a Chihuahua with a mask. Alberto holds ‘Rey’ up and says that he is sorry. Alberto says that he is sorry that he hurt Rey. Alberto says that he is going to give Rey that kiss and he kisses the dog.
Alberto says that he was kidding and Rey will be here tonight.
Rey’s music interrupts Alberto and Rey comes to the ring. Rey goes between Alberto’s legs. Rey with a drop kick to the knee and Alberto goes into the ropes. Rey with a drop kick and Alberto goes into the ropes again. Ricardo grabs Rey and Alberto escapes.
Rey kicks Ricardo and then he punches Alberto in the head. Rey with a drop kick and Ricardo knows what to do as Rey hits a 619.
Rey goes to the apron and he points at Alberto and he wants Alberto to come back to the ring.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we see footage of the kick that has ended Chris Jericho’s career at this time. We also see what Sheamus did to Great Khali on Monday night.
Match Number Five: Randy Orton versus Cody Rhodes with Drew McIntyre
Cody runs into a boot from Randy and then Randy gets Cody to flinch. Cody with a punch and then he misses the rolling knee drop. Orton with a European uppercut and Cody rolls to the apron. Randy tries for the IEDDT but Rhodes gets into the ring. Orton with a power slam and Cody goes to the floor. Orton goes to the floor and Drew follows Orton but Orton sees him coming. Cody sends Orton into the ring post and then they return to the ring.
Rhodes hits the rolling knee drop and he gets a near fall. Cody with kicks to Randy in the corner followed by a snap mare and arm bar with chin lock. Randy with a punch and he gets out of the hold. Rhodes misses the springboard round kick and Orton with a back breaker and RKO for the three count as Drew walks around the ring.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match Drew tries for the Future Shock on Orton but Orton with a back body drop and then he hits the RKO after some Viper Push ups.
Sheamus comes to the ring and he hits Orton and he waits for Orton to get up. Sheamus with the pump kick and Orton is down.
We are back with a video package showing the work that WWE has done over the years with Make-A-Wish.
Kane comes to the ring as he interrupts Todd Grisham’s attempt to say something.
Match Number Six: Kane versus John Cena in a LumberNexus Match
Kane with a knee and he kicks Cena in the corner. Kane with a shoulder followed by punch to Cena in the corner. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall. Kane with a forearm to the back followed by a punch in the corner. Kane with a hard Irish whip and a kick to the top of the head. Kane gets another near fall. Kane with an arm bar. Kane throws Cena over the top rope and the NexusJacks help Cena back into the ring with their boots and then they hold Cena for Tarver to connect with a few punches. They return Cena back into the ring and Kane with a kick to the head as we go to commercial.
We are back and Kane has Cena in a reverse chin lock with a body scissors. Cena gets to his feet and Cena with a punch but Kane with an uppercut. Kane goes up top but Cena moves out of the way. Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena with the Five Knuckle Shuffle to Kane and then he looks at Barrett before getting Kane up for the Attitude Adjustment but Kane escapes. Cena avoids a choke slam and Kane is sent to the floor. Cena knocks Gabriel off the apron into Kane and Kane punches Gabriel. Cena goes after the other members of Nexus.
Cena goes to the ramp while Kane returns to the ring.
The lights go out and Undertaker is in the ring behind Kane and he punches his brother and clotheslines Kane over the top rope to the floor. Taker sends Kane’s head into the ring steps and then over the announce table, but he misses Michael Cole. Taker attacks Kane and he scares the referee away. Taker sends Kane into the crowd and he goes after Kane.
Taker and Kane continue to battle in the crowd. Kane tries to go up the steps to the concourse but Taker stops him. Kane punches Taker and he gains control. Taker punches Kane as they move back to the ringside area. Taker slams Kane’s head into the ring steps and then he sends Kane into the ringside barrier. Taker mounts Kane and punches Kane as the referee tries to stop him.
They return to the ring and Kane with a boot to Taker but Taker sits up and Kane cannot believe what he has seen. Kane grabs Taker by the throat but Paul Bearer is in the ring with the urn and Taker grabs Kane by the throat and he gives Kane a choke slam. Kane leaves the ring and he escapes while he can, but Sunday is Hell in a Cell.
We go to credits.
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