TNA iMPACT Report – 5/27/2010

TNA iMPACT Report – May 27th, 2010
Report by Stuart Carapola, PWInsider

We open this week’s episode with a recap of the unveiling of the Top Ten Rankings and Kurt Angle voluntarily pulling himself out of the rankings, as well as the finish of last week’s main event that saw Ken Anderson get involved in Jeff Hardy’s win over Sting.

We’re in Orlando, Florida, and tonight on Impact, the Beautiful People defend the Knockouts Tag Team Title against Sarita & Taylor Wilde, and Hall & Nash take on Team 3D and Ink Inc in a three way match. Plus, Jay Lethal faces Frankie Kazarian in singles action!

But right now, let’s go to the ring for our show opening promo with the #3 contender, Jeff Hardy. Hardy says hello to the Creatures Of The Night, then says he’s out here for one reason: to find out what’s going on with Ken Anderson. He calls Anderson out to the ring to explain himself, and Anderson obliges. Anderson says that maybe he does things like that, extends hands, and gives assists when needed to confuse people, and maybe he did it to confuse Hardy, or to confuse the people, or maybe he did it…because he’s an asshole. But Anderson says to look at himself: he’s got green hair, facepaint, tattoos, and his little dance, and says that old ladies on the street probably think he’s an asshole, and he tells Hardy to embrace his inner assholiness. Anderson says they’re all assholes and wouldn’t Hardy like to be an asshole too? He starts an asshole chant with the crowd, but before this goes too much further, here comes the former champ AJ Styles and he’s got his entire gang with him. Styles says he just got here and saw that he had a match with Hardy tonight, and he shouldn’t be allowed in the same ring as AJ and should have to but a ticket just to see him wrestle, but Eric Bischoff says Hardy requested to wrestle him. Hardy says he didn’t ask to wrestle anyone, and Styles says he meant Anderson. He is the Phenomenal AJ Styles, The One. AJ asks Anderson if he knows who he is and Anderson says yes, he’s The One, but wants to introduce himself to AJ: he hands the mic to Hardy, takes his personal mic as it drops from the ceiling, and says he’s Mr Anderson…Anderson. And with that, we’re at our first commercial!

We’re back, and looking at a recap of the Team 3D-Jesse Neal situation that led to Brother Ray turning on Jesse and the two of them brawling last week on Impact. In fact, let’s head to the ring for our first match…

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Band vs Team 3D vs Ink Inc

As Hall & Nash make their way to the ring, we discover that they’re working under Freebird Rules, in that any two of the three of them can defend the title. Hall looks like he’s started to pack some of that weight he lost back on. Moore and Young start, Young takes him down with a shoulderblock off the ropes, but Moore with a series of armdrags and an inverted atomic drop followed by a legdrop for 1. Young whips Moore into the corner but eats elbow on a charge and Moore with a bulldog for 2. Tag out to Jesse Neal and a double hiptoss followed by Moore hiptossing Neal onto Young for 2. Young whips Neal into the corner but eats boot on a charge and Neal with a crossbody out of the corner for 2. Young goes to the eyes and a big slam, but Brother Ray tags himself in…but misses an elbowdrop and now Neal starts firing rights at Ray but Ray takes his head off with a lariat. Ray chops Neal in the corner and then sits on his back and starts crossfacing him. Devon tags himself in, which seemed to upset Ray, and Devon tosses Neal to his corner and allows him to tag Moore in. Devon takes Moore to the corner but Moore escapes and gets a sunset flip for 2 and follows that up with a leg lariat, then tags Neal back in. Blind tag to Ray who comes in and wipes out both Moore and Neal, then goes back to beating up Neal in the corner. Ray goes to the floor and gets a chair, but Devon grabs it away from him before he can nail Neal and the distraction allows Neal to hit the spear and pin Brother Ray for the win.

Winners: Ink Inc

Team 3D argue with one another while the Band laugh because they’re still the champions. Ray and Devon get into a little spat in the ring, then says Jesse Neal’s getting too big for his britches and challenges him to a match at Slammiversary, then tells Devon to stay out of it.

Backstage, Christy asks Kazarian how he feels coming off of his big win last night, and Kazarian says he’s feeling great and it’s all because of Ric Flair. Flair says he’s impressed, but if he wants to keep impressing Flair, he’s got to go out there and beat Jay Lethal tonight. AJ walks in and says he needs to talk to Flair, but Flair is busy with Kazarian, AJ is AJ Styles and he’ll be fine. Kazarian vs Lethal is next!

We go to the Crappy Cam as Rob Van Dam is backstage
saying that he’s calling Sting out tonight. Sting has a shot at the World Title at Slammiversary, but a win over RVD is something Sting is never going to have.

Frankie Kazarian vs Jay Lethal

Kazarian opens up with a go behind and nails Lethal from behind and fires in a few shots, but Lethal with a leg lariat. Lethal backdropped to the apron, but comes back in with a Frankensteiner that sends Kazarian to the floor and Lethal follows him out with a dive as we get our weekly hype for Dixie Carter’s Twitter account. Lethal whips Kazarian to the corner and follows him in with a dropkick, but Ric Flair comes down to ringside and distracts Lethal, allowing Kazarian to hit a running knee to the back and fire in several vicious shots in the corner. Kazarian with a slam and a springboard legdrop and stops to share a laugh with Flair. Lethal escapes a suplex attempt and fires in several shots of his own and comes off the ropes with a flying forearm. Lethal with a moonsault out of the corner for 2, Kazarian counters with a chinbreaker, but Lethal with another leg lariat and then goes for the figure four, stalls for time while doing his Flair impersonation for way too long to make it believable, and finally locks it in. Flair is up on the apron yelling at Kazarian to get to the ropes and Kazarian makes it and forces the break. Flair is happy and Lethal goes over to Flair and gets piefaced, so Lethal decks him in the face, allowing Kazarian to roll him up from behind with a handful of tights for the win.

Winner: Frankie Kazarian

Flair comes in the ring and puts the boots to Lethal and lays him out with a chop, then removes his shirt to reveal the Herculean Flair Physique. Flair continues the beating in the corner as Kazarian is down writhing in pain in the corner, and finally Lethal starts firing back on a guy nearly three times as old as he is, and Flair does the Flop, then does his backdrop out of the corner, and finally gets clotheslined over the top to the floor. Cue AJ Styles, who finally runs in and beats the crap out of Jay Lethal, but Kazarian shoves him out of the way and now Kazarian and AJ get in each other’s face arguing over which of them gets to beat up Lethal, but Lethal now uses a distraction to his advantage, dropkicking both guys to the floor. Now Flair gets in AJ’s face on the ramp over his interference in the incident, and Flair takes Kazarian and walks out on AJ.

Still to come, RVD calls out Sting and AJ Styles takes on Ken Anderson! But wait a minute…Shannon Moore has been laid out in the back and…there’s a playing card on his back! What could this mean?

We now go to a video package recapping the recent events in the Desmond Wolfe-Abyss feud, leading into last week when Desmond attacked Abyss with a broken bottle, but Abyss came back and beat him up anyway before carrying Chelsea off.

And now, let’s go back to the ring for…oh man…

Orlando Jordan vs Abyss

This week, Jordan has pasties of Abyss’ face on his nipples. Okay. Abyss is accompanied to the ring by his new second, Chelsea, and she does not look at all happy. Lockup and Jordan goes after the arm, but Abyss pulls it away and instead goes to an arm wringer on Jordan. Jordan rolls through to a wristlock of his own and starts firing elbows into the arm. Abyss lays in a series of shots and then YANKS THE PASTIES OFF! What a heel. HUGE f’ing backdrop on Jordan, but Abyss misses a charge in the corner and Jordan goes back to work on the arm, not only beating on it but biting it as well. Jordan rips the bandage off and continues attacking the arm, now dropping knees on it as well. Jordan goes up top and hits Old School on the arm of Abyss, stops to pose for the crowd, then covers for 2. Jordan misses an elbowdrop on the arm then runs right into a big boot. Abyss with a Choo Choo in the corner and goes for a chokeslam, but Jordan escapes by raking the arm. Jordan tries a leapfrog but Abyss catches him very suggestively and hits an Ocean Cyclone Suplex for 2, then clotheslines Jordan over the top to the floor. Jordan escapes a slam attempt and shoves Abyss into Chelsea, who gets completely wiped out. Abyss is very upset over this turn of events and stops briefly to beat up Jordan and ram him into the ringpost before going to check on Chelsea, but Desmond Wolfe comes out of nowhere to nail Abyss with a pipe to draw the DQ.

Winner: Abyss by DQ

Desmond tosses Abyss back into the ring and he and Jordan put the boots to Abyss but Rob Terry comes thundering out and cleans house on both Desmond and Jordan, and Desmond bails, so Terry kills Jordan with a spinebuster and looks constipated as Abyss goes to check on Chelsea again and carry her lifeless form to the back in a scene reminiscent of Hulk Hogan carrying Elizabeth to the back on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The World Champion, Rob Van Dam, is backstage, and he’s…WALKING! And he calls out Sting, next!

We’re back, and we see a video package recapping the RVD-Sting feud, and then we go to the ring with Rob Van Dam, who says that Sting has his title shot, and that’s what he wanted…right? RVD is well aware of Sting’s iconic status, but RVD has a few accomplishments of his own, and it’s funny that their paths have never crossed before, but they’re crossing at Slammiversary, and if Sting comes to the ring now, he’ll give Sting a preview of what to expect at Slammiversary. Sting’s music hits, and out comes…no, actually he doesn’t. Instead, we see the video of the incident a couple of months ago when Sting beat the crap out of RVD for like 15 minutes. Now we go to Sting up in the rafters, and he says that was just a small taste of what to expect, and at Slammiversary, it’ll be showtime and Sting’s going to take the TNA World Title.

We go to the Crappy Cam, as Hulk Hogan is telling Ken Anderson that he’s put himself in a tought spot because everyone hates him, and Anderson admits that he’s been an asshole, but Hogan tells him that he sees money when he looks at Anderson, but if he keeps doing what he’s doing he’s never going to make it around here. Anderson insists that when he extended his hand to Hardy, he meant it, and he’s been doing some serious soul searching, and he just wants Hogan to watch what he does tonight against AJ and let his actions speak for him.

We go to Mike and Taz, who are joined by Puppet The Psycho Dwarf, owner of the midget wrestling program that SpikeTV is going to be airing in the near future. From there we go backstage to Christy with Roxxi, who scored a non-title win over Madison Rayne last week. Roxxi is excited to be back, but it’s a little familiar because she was back on New Year’s Eve but she broke her ankle. But now she’s back and she’s ready for whatever TNA has for her. Christy gives her the good news that because she beat Madison Rayne last week, she’s going to challenge Madison for the Knockouts Title at Slammiversary. And speaking of Knockouts titles…

Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Velvet Sky & Lacey Von Erich vs Sarita & Taylor Wilde

Sarita and Velvet start, Sarita with a go behind but Velvet reverses to an overhook hiptoss. Sarita mocks her with a little dance then rolls her up for 2, then tags in Taylor who hits a rolling senton for 2. Taylor with a blind tag and a boot to the face of Velvet then sweeps the legs and a double team elbowdrop followed by a three quarter nelson by Sarita for 2. Taylor tags back in and hits a running dropkick to the face of Velvet for 2, but Lacey nails her from the outside and tags herself in. Velvet and Lacey ram Taylor into the corner and hit a double clothesline and Lacey with the clawslam on Taylor for the most demoralizing loss in Taylor Wilde’s career.

Winners: The Beautiful People

Puppet leaves the broadcast booth and runs into the ring with the Beautiful People and they all start dancing with him…until he runs over and slaps Velvet on the ass. Suddenly the mood changes and Velvet slaps him and Madison DDTs him, and then they stomp the hell out of him while Lacey just stands there and looks confused. She goes to check on him, but it was just a ruse, as Puppet suckers her into a big liplock…and Lacey likes it! They start rolling around in the middle of the ring making out as Velvet stands on the ramp looking disgusted.

We go to the Crappy Cam, as Jeff Hardy says he’s got a little experience in the European style, but tonight’s going to be his first time in the ring with Desmond Wolfe. And we’re at commercial!

We’re back, and Kurt Angle’s going to join us at the broadcast booth for our next match, and he’s looking a lot healthier than he has in a while. He’s here to scout the Top Ten Rankings in our next match…

Desmond Wolfe vs Jeff Hardy

Desmond opens up right away with a headbutt to the midsection and a European Uppercut, then takes Hardy down with a shoulderblock. They do a fast paced sequence that ends with Hardy getting a rollup for 2. Wolfe with another European Uppercut and the boot to the back/forearm to the chest combo in the corner for 2. Hardy with a back spinkick and a dropkick in the corner and Wolfe bails to the floor, but Hardy with a pendulum dropkick and a slingshot crossbody over the top to the floor on Desmond. Hardy turns his back to play to the fans, so Desmond nails him from behind and then rolls him back in the ring. Wolfe covers Hardy for 2, but Hardy escapes and gets a short clothesline for 2. Hardy goes for the Twist Of Fate but Wolfe counters to a snap armwhip for 2. Wolfe puts Hardy up top and goes for the Tower Of London, Hardy escapes, but Wolfe with the running European Uppercut in the corner. Wolfe goes for a lariat, Hardy ducks it but Wolfe with a hammerlock Divorce Court for 2. Hardy comes back with a headscissors and a clothesline and then goes for the Whisper In The Wind, but accidentally nails the ref. Hardy with the Twist Of Fate but there’s no ref, so Wolfe grabs a sock full of quarters out of his tights and nails Hardy with it for the upset win!

Winner: Desmond Wolfe

After a commercial break, we’re back in the ring with Matt Morgan, who says that first they get jumped by Samoa Joe, then they get robbed of their tag title by Hall & Nash, and now they need to find a new partner to face Hall & Nash at Slammiversary for the title he felt he never lost. He says they’re going to turn this negative into a positive because he believes in opportunities and making stars here in TNA, so he’s going to grant an open invitation to anyone who wants to be 1/2 of the tag champs alongside them at Slammiversary. He calls out the little bald guy in the back (meaning Kurt Angle) and tells him to come on down to the ring. Angle obliges, so Morgan asks him if he wants to be a star and one half of the tag champs. Angle says he’s not a little bald guy, and secondly, the last time they were in this ring he pinned Morgan’s ass. Morgan likes guys with a sense of humor, so he’s going to ask him again if he wants to be their partner at Slammiversary, but before Angle can answer, Morgan nails him and says “Not.” Angle comes after him and security drags Angle off, and while Morgan stands there mocking Angle, Samoa Joe comes stalking down to the ring and goes after Morgan, who bails out to the floor with a big smile on his face. Morgan says he’s not going to get the answer he’s looking for tonight, so as of now, the Blueprint is off the clock. Samoa Joe turns around and has a staredown with Kurt Angle, but Angle walks away before it gets physical.

We go to Mike and Taz, who inform us of some title matches that have been signed for Slammiversary: Douglas Williams defends the X-Division Title against Brian Kendrick, The Band defends the tag title against Matt Morgan and a partner, and of course, RVD defends the TNA World Title against Sting.

It’s main event time!

AJ Styles vs Ken Anderson

The bell rings and we’re off. AJ dances around Anderson, but Anderson doesn’t look impressed. AJ and Anderson tie up and fight for control. Anderson takes AJ to the corner and breaks clean as AJ gives him a bemused look. AJ takes a side headlock, Anderson tries to send him to the ropes but AJ keeps the headlock. Anderson reverses to a headlock of his own and AJ tries to escape, but Anderson keeps the headlock. AJ goes for a suplex, but Anderson keeps the headlock and takes AJ down with it. Anderson gets a 1 count off the headlock, but AJ gets the shoulder up and catches Anderson in a headscissors. Anderson rolls through and goes back to the headlock. AJ crossfaces Anderson and goes back to the headscissors, but Anderson kicks out and gets caught back in a headlock by AJ. Anderson rolls AJ to his back for a 2 count and AJ releases the headlock and they both get to their feet and start exchanging blows. Anderson with a boot and goes back to the headlock and they do a fast exchange that ends with AJ hitting a sweet dropkick for 2. Anderson fires away with a series of rights, but AJ with a boot to the gut and a leapfrog, but Anderson catches him and hits a Finlay Roll for 2. AJ goes to the eyes and hits an enziguiri for 2, then starts pounding away on Anderson and chokes him with his boot. AJ with a snapmare and we HIT THE CHINLOCK! Anderson fights his way out and comes off the ropes with a crossbody, but AJ rolls through and uses both the ropes and the tights to get the win.

Winner: AJ Styles

Solid WRESTLING match to close the show. I like it. Anderson has a smirk on his face as he calls for his mic to drop, and he tells AJ that he got him, and the coolest thing was that AJ got him at his own game. AJ claims a totally clean win, and Anderson asks his assholes if AJ pulled his tights, and the crowd chants “YES HE DID!” so Anderson agrees with the assholes and attacks AJ and starts stomping a mudhole in him. Beer Money runs in and attacks Anderson and now it’s a 3-on-1, but Jeff Hardy’s music hits and Hardy comes running out with a chair and the heels bail. Anderson and Hardy back up into each other and have an uncomfortable faceoff, but Hardy extends the hand and Anderson shakes it, and we’re off the air.