TNA iMPACT Report – 5/20/2010

TNA iMPACT Report – May 20th, 2010
Report by Stuart Carapola, PWInsider

Tonight’s episode begins with a video package recapping the events of Sacrifice, and then we’re off to the Impact Zone where tonight, we’re going to find out who the top 10 contenders to Rob Van Dam’s TNA World Title are! Plus, Kurt Angle returns to TNA and Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff will have a big announcement regarding tonight’s main event! But right now, let’s go to the ring for our weekly powwow with Eric Bischoff…

Bischoff comes out with Miss Tessmacher, and he knows that everyone’s been waiting to hear the top 10 rankings, and he explains what the criteria that the Championship Committee of himself, Hulk Hogan, and Dixie Carter were working with, and then it’s time to announce the rankings, with each man coming out well dressed and accompanied by a short video package: 10)Samoa Joe, 9)Rob Terry, 8)Desmond Wolfe, 7)The Pope, 6)Abyss (the only one coming out in his regular wrestling gear), 5)Mr Anderson, 4)Jeff Hardy, 3)AJ Styles (who points to the camera and says he should be number one), 2)Kurt Angle…ah, but wait, Angle doesn’t come out when his music hits. But whatever, Bischoff moves on and reveals that the #1 contender, and RVD’s challenger at Slammiversary is…Sting. Oh wait, Sting is in his wrestling gear as well, and instead of standing at the top of the rampyway like the other contenders, comes into the ring to stand face-to-face with Bischoff, who says that on behalf of TNA and the fans, he wants to congratulate Sting on being the #1 contender to the TNA World Title. He’ll face RVD at Slammiversary, but tonight he’s going to prove that he’s a fighting #1 contender, so in tonight’s main event, he’ll face Jeff Hardy! Sting says he’s going to do the same thing to Jeff Hardy that he did to Jeff Jarrett at Sacrifice, then smashes up Bischoff’s set, and says that if he and Dixie want change, then he’s going to have to change the way he walks, and attacks Bischoff with the bat and hits him in the leg. While this is going on, we see a shot of Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan backstage, and Hogan stands there watching what’s going on on a monitor before finally stepping out, presumably to intervene in the incident unfolding in the ring. Abyss tries to make the save, but Sting beats him up and knocks him to the floor, too. Hardy runs in and grabs the bat away from Sting and they go face-to-face. Hardy slaps Sting, so Sting kicks him in the nuts and grabs the bat, but before he can do any damage, RVD’s music hits and he comes out to face Sting, and while Sting is distracted by RVD, Hardy attacks Sting and clips his knee from behind, then goes up for the Swanton, but Sting slips out of the ring and heads to the back as RVD and Hardy high five in the ring as we go to commercial.

We’re back, and that means it’s time to take a look at what happened before the commercial break, so we do and then we go backstage to Hogan and Bischoff, and Morgan says that they want to know when they’re going to get their rematch for the tag title, and Hogan says it’s a bad time but he’s going to get his rematch and wishes him luck finding a partner.

Let’s go to the ring for our first match…

Roxxi vs Madison Rayne

Before the match, we take a look back to New Year’s Eve when Roxxi suffered a broken ankle against Hamada. This bout is non-title. Mike brings up the history between Roxxi and the Beautiful People as Roxxi gets a series of rollups for 2 counts, then whips Madison into the corner and follows in with a charge. Roxxi misses a second charge, so Madison nails her from behind and hits a running kick to the midsection of Roxxi for 2. Madison HITS THE CHINLOCK, but turns it into a face gouge, then does it again. Madison covers Roxxi for 2, then chokes her on the ropes, kicks her, then chokes her on the ropes again. Madison with…that’s right, another kick, and that only gets 2. Roxxi suddenly gets the Voodoo Crush out of nowhere and scores the upset pin.

Winner: Roxxi

We go backstage to Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea, who is freaking out because she doesn’t want to spend 30 days with Abyss because he’s gross. Desmond says not to worry because whatever Abyss does, he’s going to have to answer to Desmond for whatever he does, then says to worry about the real problem: Desmond’s going to be flying solo for the next 30 days! What a man.

We see Kurt Angle backstage, and the cameraman asks Kurt why he didn’t come out when he was announced as the number two contender. Angle stares at him incredulously for a moment, then stalks off.

Speaking of Angle, let’s go to a video package detailing his history as an amateur wrestler and his rise in TNA. He discusses his addiction to performing in front of the fans, and we look back at his remarks from before leaving, as he said that when he got back, his goal would be to regain the TNA World Title.

And if you didn’t get enough Kurt already, let’s go back to the ring for some comments from our returning hero. He says that he’s noticed a lot of changes in TNA since he first came here almost four years ago. When he came to TNA, he was one of the elite, one of the best. Crowd chants You Still Are. Angle says that with the arrivals of RVD, Jeff Hardy, and Mr Anderson to name a few, and also some of the TNA homegrown talents who have stepped up their game, Kurt Angle is now no longer one of the elite, he’s just another name on the TNA roster. But that said, let him explain something about himself: he’ll wrestle for free because it was never about ego or anything like that, it was always about standing in the ring, looking his opponent in the eye, and either winning or losing. Kurt Angle was bred to be a winner and will be one for the rest of his life. He’s going through a tough time right now because he’s done everything you can accomplish in every form of wrestling, amateur, professional, and otherwise, and he asks what he needs to do to do something new. He says he’s taking himself completely out of the top 10 rankings, and he’s going to wrestle all the other top ten, starting with the #10 guy, and working his way back to the top. We’re going to see some of the best matches of all time, and that is DAMN REAL.

We go to the back to Christy Hemme with Ric Flair and Beer Money, and she asks Flair who he thinks is going to be Jay Lethal’s partner against Beer Money tonight. Flair says that imitation is not a form of flattery, he overstepped his bounds when he got involved in AJ Styles’ match at Sacrifice and he’s going to pay tonight. Frankie Kazarian comes in and wants a word with Ric Flair, and as Christy cuts off the interview after some unflattering comment from Flair that I didn’t catch, we’re at commercial.

We’re back and are getting some comments backstage from Rob Terry, who says that his knee is severely injured in four places, but he’s going to go out tonight and fight Orlando Jordan because he needs to maintain his ranking in TNA. So with that, let’s go back to the ring for our next match…

Orlando Jordan vs Rob Terry

Orlando makes the Lady Gaga entrance, and Rob Terry, with a very heavily taped up knee, badly limps to the ring from the usual entranceway. Orlando jumps him the second he gets in the ring and tries a single leg takedown, but Terry tosses him away. Orlando goes back to the single leg and Terry beats him off then opens up with a series of clotheslines. Orlando fires one off at Terry and goes back to the single leg, but Terry manhandles him to the corner and the ref gets sandwiched between them. Terry backs off and backdrops Orlando, then lays him out with a short clothesline for 2. Orlando backs off and kicks Terry in the knee, then starts putting the boots to Terry’s injured leg. Orlando pulls the kneepad off of Rob Terry and then DDTs his leg twice and puts him in a leg submission and referee Earl Hebner stops the match.

Winner: Orlando Jordan

Orlando won’t release the hold, so the cavalcade of referees comes out and pulls Orlando off. Orlando goes to leave, but ocmes back and starts stomping on Terry again and puts him back in the leglock. The referees yank and yank and finally are able to pull Orlando off again.

We go backstage to Jay Lethal who talks about what a great moment it was when he was doing the Ric Flair impression, but it all went wrong when Flair took it the wrong way. RVD comes in and says since Lethal is looking for a partner, he’s going to volunteer to hook Lethal up for having his back at Sacrifice.

We go to Jeff Hardy, who is in the back drawing on himself and talking about how when he was a backyard wrestler, he idolized Sting and made him want to paint his face.

Speaking of people who like to draw on themselves, Ink Inc bust into Team 3D’s locker room and Jesse Neal asks him what he was doing getting involved in their match at Sacrifice. Brother Ray says what he did on Sunday was an attitude adjustment, and Neal accuses him of being jealous. Ray says he has nothing to be jealous of because he’s one half of the greatest tag team of all time, who are 23-time tag champs. Neal says to keep his distance, which Ray responds to by taking a shot at Neal and going “Here’s my distance!” and then, as Moore herds Neal out of the ring and Ray complains to Devon that he knew this would happen from the beginning. Let’s go back to the ring…

Beer Money vs Jay Lethal & TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam

Lethal is out as himself this week instead of Macho Man or whoever. Roode attacks Lethal to start, but Lethal fires back and hiptosses Roode and follows up with a dropkick. Lethal gets backdropped to the apron, but hits a shoulderblock to the gut and goes up top, but Storm shoves him off and Roode makes the hot tag. Beer Money puts the boots to Lethal and Storm starts working over the knees then turns him inside out with a lariat for 2. Roode tags back in and Beer Money hits a HUGE double backdrop on Lethal as I notice that RVD is still wearing a t-shirt. How professional. Storm tags back in, but Lethal hits a handspring elbow and makes the hot tag to RVD, who comes in and cleans house on Beer Money. RVD with a jumpkick off the top on Roode for 2, then tags in Lethal for a missile dropkick on Roode, the Lethal Combination, and RVD with Rolling Thunder. Lethal finishes with a figure four on Roode and Roode taps.

Winners: Jay Lethal & Rob Van Dam

Ric Flair comes out after the match and he is irate, and gets into a brawl with Lethal on the rampway. Lethal beats Flair up and keeps beating him up all the way to the back as RVD stands triumphantly on the ramp, then goes around ringside high fiving the fans. Suddenly, a guy in a Sting mask cracks RVD in the face with a chair and then takes off the mask to reveal…that it really is Sting! Sting nails RVD with the chair a second time, but thankfully leaves after the second chairshot instead of continuing to beat him up for another fifteen minutes like last time.

We’re back from commercial, and Jeff Hardy is in the ring saying that he’s made a living walking to the beat of his own drum, and he grew up idolizing Sting and now he’s here in TNA with the guy. He says that he and the Creatures Of The Night are going to take Sting beyond his wildest imagination.

We go to the back and security knocks on Desmond Wolfe’s door and tells him…it’s time. Chelsea reluctantly grabs her bag and leaves with security as Desmond tells them they must really enjoy this, and if they so much as lay a hand on her they’ll have to answer to him.

We go to the ring as Abyss makes his entrance and grabs a mic, telling Desmond Wolfe that he has something…or actually someone…that Abyss wants, and tells Desmond to bring her to him. Security brings a very reluctant Chelsea out, and Abyss tells Desmond this is ironic since at Sacrifice, he made Desmond his bitch, and tonight, he’s taking his. Desmond takes the mic and tells Abyss he has a sense of false security, because if Abyss really believes that he’s letting Abyss take her, he’s sorely mistaken, because he’s going to take Chelsea over his dead body. He kicks Abyss in the nuts, then kicks both security guys in the nuts, then dips into Chelsea’s bag and grabs an empty glass bottle, which he breaks on the ringpost and slashes Desmond with it. Chelsea tries to stop Desmond as Abyss stands there bleeding and holding his nuts, and the distraction proves fatal, as he turns around and takes a Black Hole Slam from Abyss, then grabs his new property and heads to the back.

We’re back from another commercial and we’re in the ring with Eric Young and the Outsiders. He understands the boos because the fans are jealous of them because they have everything and the fans have nothing. Young says Hall and Nash are the only men in the business that he has anything in common with. Nash is an ass kicker who says what he’s going to do to your face and does it, and he gets criticized for that. The three of them are the Band, and they’re not there to play some music for the fans, they’re there to take everything and leave nothing on the table. Because they’re such classy dudes, they’ll say what they’re going to do before they do it because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. This leads us right into our next match…

Shannon Moore vs Eric Young

Young pounds away on Moore to start and whips him across the ring, but Moore with a leapfrog and a series of armdrags, an inverted atomic drop, and a shot lays Young out. Moore with a double legdrop for 2 and a crossbody out of the corner for another 2. Young with a running elbow and an elbowdrop gets 2 on Moore, then the Bret Hart second rope elbow for another 2. Young chokes Moore on the ropes, then snapmares Moore and goes to an armbar. Moore fights his way out and hits a pair of dropkicks and a leg lariat followed by a twisting senton off the top for 2. Brother Ray makes his way out from the back and brawls with Jesse Neal on the ramp, and as that’s going on Hall nails Moore from the outside with the tag title belt, allowing Young to hit the piledriver for the win.

Winner: Eric Young

Jesse Neal checks on his partner after the match, and Brother Ray comes running into the ring and lays Neal out again, as Devon yells at Ray to leave the guy alone. They argue it out as we go to commercial.

We come back from commercial and Taz gives his thoughts on the Team 3D friction we just saw, and he thinks Brother Ray feels disrespected and Devon’s always been the cool head, and that’s what led to this argument between the two of them.

X-Division Battle Royal

Okay, so we’ve got 8 flippy dippy guys going at it, and the idea is that with Angle giving up his top 10 spot, everybody else moves up a spot and the winner of this gets the #10 spot. The first guy out is Amazing Red. Generation Me sends Chris Sabin to the rampyway, but it was through the ropes so he’s not eliminated, and he comes back in and he and Shelley eliminate Max, buy Jeremy comes back to backdrop Shelley to the apron and dropkick him to the floor, and then Sabin tosses Jeremy to the floor. We’re down to Sabin, Kazarian, and Homicide. Sabin and Kazarian do a sequence and Kazarian eliminates Sabin, then goes at it with Homicide, and at this moment Brian Kendrick, who has spent the whole match hiding out on the floor, comes back in and dumps Homicide from behind and tries to toss Kazarian, but Kazarian with a springboard elbow on Kendrick and then tosses Kendrick to pick up the win.

Winner: Frankie Kazarian

In my furious attempt to recap this match before it ended, I failed to mention that Ric Flair came down to ringside halfway through the match to cheer Kazarian on, and then applauded him after he won the match. Looks like we might have a new alliance on our hands! We’re at commercial.

It’s main event time!

Sting vs Jeff Hardy

Very wise of TNA to give this first time match away on live TV. Then again, with this match starting at 10:55, I doubt we’re going to get much of a match here. Sting, apparently trying to match his Slammiversary opponent, is also wearing a t-shirt. They lock up and Sting takes Hardy to the corner and Sting breaks clean…nope, nevermind, he suckerpunches Jeff. Jeff fires back and gets a spinning back kick and Sting rolls to the floor. That makes sense, since we have a ton of time to kill. Hardy baseball slides Sting and goes for a dive over the top rope, but Sting moves and Hardy wipes out on the floor. Sting rolls Hardy onto the rampway and rams his knee into the ramp a couple of times, then tosses Hardy back in the ring. Sting stomps on Hardy and gouges him in the eyes, then kicks away at Hardy’s knee. Sting with a Stinger Splash and goes for a second one, but Hardy moves and comes back with a couple of clotheslines, an inverted atomic drop, and a double legdrop for 2. Hardy goes up for Whisper In The Wind, but Sting moves and Hardy crashes. Sting with the Scorpion Deathlock, but Hardy makes the ropes. Sting pulls hardy back out to the middle of the ring, but accidentally knocks the referee out of the ring. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathdrop, but Ken Anderson runs in and hits a Scorpion Deathdrop of his own on Sting and bails to the floor. The referee revives as Hardy covers Sting and counts the 3.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

Anderson celebrates with Hardy and Hardy shoves him, but as Anderson signals for the microphone to drop, Sting comes in the ring with his bat and lays both Anderson and Hardy out as we fade to black.