Ring Rust Review: WWE: 365

So there is a crazy rumor going around that WWE is going to debut a brand new television station devoted to nothing but them. Now one might ask what should we put on this network, and can we support it with enough programming? Now I know some of you are saying “Dan, what about the wrestling library that Vince bought up during the years?” Yes a lot of the stuff WWE has in its vaults can be used, guess it depends on if they continue with WWE 24/7. It would be great to see the old AWA shows or the WCCW shows on a weekly basis. Let’s not forget the vast array of movies produced by WWE.  They can certainly move NXT or depending on network problems Smackdown to their new network, that would be interesting.  Let’s also not forget the “beauties” (as Gorilla would say) that Vince produced, like the XFL or my favorite doombacle the WBF.  Hey you think they have the old Rock-n-Wrestling cartoons? Now some sites are reporting that WWE will also be doing some original programming for their pride and joy of a network.  Based on Vince’s past ventures into the non-wrestling market, I shudder to think what this programming will be.  Let’s have some fun with this.

The Chris Jericho Late Night Highlight Reel Super Show – Starring Chris Jericho, with co-host Hornswoggle.  Think about it what a great idea; it will give Fozzy something to do at any rate. His first guest could be Jon Bon Jovi, because that’s what Chris wants to be when he grows up. For you reality show buffs we got the ever popular I Want to Be a McMahon Show, oh the calamity that will ensue when teams of five strive to survive (wait…I’ve heard that before somewhere?) in order to become the next McMahon.  Next on the agenda we have John Cena’s Basic Thuganomics Workout Hour featuring the Bella Twins.  Now I know what you are thinking, we need drama; we need action, so in the grand tradition of T.J. Hooker WWE television presents J.R. & The Hooker. Yes good ‘ol JR is at it again teaming up with a hot and talented “adult entertainer” solving crimes and trying to keep his trusty friend “Kingfish” Lawler away from his partner played by Kelly Kelly (not saying she is or looks like a hooker, just that she’s cute and she did that whole stripper thing when WWE/ECW started anyway).   Hey I forget Jericho is going to need a lead in show…..yeah The Viper Room with Randy Orton. Basically the concept would be Randy invited all sorts of sports and acting legends then proceeding to kick them in the head for an hour. Finally for all you kiddies we got the Brothers of Destruction Happy Fun Varity Show, yes lil’ Kane and itty bitty ‘taker get into all sorts of trouble as they try to keep one step ahead of their evil Uncle Paul.

Seriously though wrestling and television have gone hand and hand since the beginning, for those who don’t know why I guy named Gorgeous George is going into the Hall of Fame, or why if Wrestlemaina 1 didn’t do well we would not have a WWE right now, then do some research.  The fact that wrestling has made it as far as to have its own network is amazing.  Despite decades of success on televisions across the world wrestling is still considered a dirty word when it comes to “mainstream” television.  I hope the WWE the best of luck in launching The (whatever they are going to call it) Network.  Hey golf got it’s own network now it’s our turn….so let’s watch.