TNA iMPACT Report – March 15th

TNA iMPACT Report – March 15th, 2010
Report by Richard Trionfo, PWInsider

We start off with a look back at last week’s Impact when Sting made his return to attack Hulk Hogan. Then we saw Rob Van Dam defeat Sting in a few seconds only to be attacked by Sting and his baseball bat for what felt like hours. Then Jeff Hardy came back.

We see a hummer arrive at the Impact Zone and there are no military coming out. Hulk Hogan, Abyss, Rob Van Dam, and Jeff Hardy emerge.

We are live on tape from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida and your announcers are Mike ‘Beware the Ides of March . . . Brother’ Tenay and Taz.

Things start off with A.J. Styles coming to the ring and he is joined by Ric Flair. A.J. calls Abyss a six foot eight scary looking but stupid monster. He asks Abyss if a magical ring can help him at Destination X. Does Abyss think that he has a chance at the pay per view? A.J. says that they had classic battles in the past at the Asylum in Tennessee as well as in the Impact Zone. They took each other to the limit, but in the end, it was A.J. Styles up and Abyss down. A.J. says that he doesn’t know where Abyss gets his inspiration from but A.J. says that he does not believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or magical rings. A.J. says that he believes that he is the best wrestler in the world. A.J. says that he is a gift from God and on Sunday, Abyss will find out first hand . . .

Flair takes the mic and he says that he wishes that he could be as under control as A.J. Flair starts to talk about last Monday and then he takes off his jacket and shows the scars on his forehead. Flair punches himself in the forehead and starts to bleed. Flair says that he will never forget it and says that Abyss is a dead man. He tells Jeff Hardy that they had Hogan and Abyss where they wanted and he ruined things. He says that he hates Jeff Hardy. Flair tells Hardy that if he wants to play ball, expect this treatment every day.

Jeff Hardy’s music plays and he comes to the ring and he has his game face paint on. A.J. wants to know who Hardy thinks he is coming into his house. A.J. calls Hardy a nobody. Flair tells Hardy to look him in the eye. A.J. says that Jeff did nothing in TNA and he is a nobody. A.J. says that Hardy wants to come in here and put his hands on Ric Flair and the champ? A.J. says that if Jeff wants to be in the spotlight, it doesn’t get any bigger than A.J. Styles. A.J. says that if Hardy wants to put his hands on the champ, why not do it in the ring tonight. A.J. says that he is the spotlight.

Hardy points to the fans chanting his name and then he says that it will be a breeze.

Flair tells Hardy that a breeze is Jeff going to the back to paint a picture and get as high as he can on the paint. Flair woos in Hardy’s face and Hardy says that he will be flying high on the backs of his creatures of the night.

We go to the Bischoffice and Foley wants to talk to Eric. Eric yells at Foley for helping Jeff last week during Jeff’s match. Eric says that he wants to seize the moment so Foley can be a corporate citizen and he can do it tonight. Eric says that they are going to make Foley into the corporate executive that he wants and Foley will have his head and beard shaved off.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Taz and Tenay talk about what just happened and we are reminded about the main event. Tenay says that Sting is going to confront Hulk Hogan and Taz says that Foley is getting a haircut.

We go to an incident from earlier today when the Nasty Boys with Jimmy Hart attack Jesse Neal and power bomb him through a table of food.

The Nasty Boys are in the ring and Knobs says that it looks like their six man tag match is now a handicap match.

Ray says that it isn’t going to be a handicap match and they have a partner and it is Brother Runt.

Match Number One: The Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart versus Team 3D

Sags and Devon start things off and Sags with a knee and punch followed by a forearm. Sags misses a clothesline and Devon with a flying shoulder tackle and he works on the arm before tagging Runt in and he hits a double sledge from the turnbuckles. Sags with an Irish whip but he misses a charge and knocks Knobs down and hits a head butt to the midsection. Sags hits Runt from behind when Runt goes for Hart. Sags sends Runt into Knobs arm pit. Sags with a slam and Knobs tags in and he sends Runt into the turnbuckles. Knobs sends Runt into Sags’ boot and then Hart tags in and he kicks Runt and gets a belt and he is ready to hit Runt but Runt moves and Ray tags in. Ray hits Knobs and Sags while Hart leaves. Ray sends Sags into Knobs in the corner and hits a splash onto both men. Sags goes to the floor and Runt with a double sledge from the top. Ray with punches and the Bubbonic Elbow. Knobs has the helmet while Hart distracts the referee. Knobs hits Ray from behind with the helmet and Hart gets the three count.
Winners: Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart

After the match, Knobs attacks Devon and throws Runt into the turnbuckles. Sags hits Devon as well. Hart brings a table into the ring and they set it up while Hart whips Devon and Runt. Jesse Neal comes out with his ribs taped up and he takes care of the Nastys and Hart. They hit a 3D on Sags through the table.

We go to the back and Christy Hemme is with Angelina Love. Christy asks Angelina about her loss last week and wonders how she feels about Velvet and Madison winning the titles. Angelina says that it sucked and she is making an open challenge to any member of her former group tonight. She doesn’t care who it is. She says that they are trying to be her and she is the original.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Jeremy Borash is in the back with Scott Hall and Sean Waltman as Borash reminds us of the stipulation for Sunday’s match. Waltman says that they have been kicked out of better places than this and talks about being fired by FedEx. Scott says that they will give the Big Sellout and Eric Young what they deserve. Scott says that you are going to be looking at the two new big money players next Monday.

Nash and Young stop by and Nash talks about having big money. Nash challenges Hall to a five minute match and if Hall can last that long, he will get $25,000. Hall says that he will be the one dressed like Elvis.

We take a look back at what Kurt Angle did to Ken Anderson last week on Impact.

Dinero waits for the referee to hold the ropes open for him.

Match Number Two: Ken Anderson and Desmond Wolfe with Chelsea versus Kurt Angle and D’Angelo Dinero

Angle and Wolfe start things off and they lock up with Angle working on the arm with a key lock but Wolfe with a hammer lock. Angle with a snap mare but Wolfe with a wrist lock. Angle with a reversal and Anderson refuses to make the tag. Wolfe with an elbow but Angle with a hip toss. Angle with a hammer lock but Wolfe with a reversal and Angle gets to the ropes. Anderson punches Angle while Wolfe was with the referee. Anderson wants to tag in now and he kicks Angle while Wolfe holds him. Anderson kicks Angle in the midsection and then he rakes the eyes. Anderson with a front face lock and then he sends Angle into the turnbuckles before tagging Wolfe in. Wolfe with a head lock but Angle with an Irish whip. Angle with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and both men are down. Dinero makes the tag and he comes in and hobbles for a clothesline and elbows. Dinero with a back body drop and he follows it with elbows to the head. Anderson tries to interfere but Dinero with a palm thrust. Dinero with an STO for a near fall. Angle with an Olympic slam on Anderson. Wolfe with a hammerlock DDT to Angle but Wolfe tries for a figure four but Dinero with a rollup for the three count.
Winners: D’Angelo Dinero and Kurt Angle

After the match, Angle and Dinero are attacked by Wolfe and Wolfe sends Dinero over the top rope onto the ramp. Wolfe with a European uppercut. Meanwhile back in the ring, Anderson hits the Mic Check on Angle. Dinero and Wolfe fight up the ramp and Anderson takes Angle’s medal. Anderson cuts Angle’s forehead with the medal.

The mic comes down for Ken Anderson and he gets in Angle’s face and he asks Angle if he is bleeding. Anderson tells Angle that this is just a small example of what he has in store for him on Sunday at Destination X. Anderson hits Angle in the head with the mic.

We go to commercial.

We are back for a bit as Madison, Velvet, and Lacey try to figure out who will face Angelina as they all make excuses.

We are back and Hogan is with Hardy and Van Dam. Hogan tells Hardy to focus on A.J. since Abyss is the guest enforcer. He tells Van Dam that he has something fun for him.

Eric Bischoff enters after the left and Eric wants to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Hogan says that he has a few surprises for tonight. Eric says that he loves surprises and Hardy and Van Dam were a stroke of genius. Eric says that he would love to have been involved. Hogan says that Eric has had his hands full with Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett. Hogan says that he knew that Eric would love it. Eric says that it is time that certain people get reminded who is in charge. Hogan says that you don’t have to apologize because it sounds like his ex-wife. Hogan says that Van Dam and Hardy know what to do.

Match Number Three: Angelina Love versus Someone from her former Group

It turns out that Angelina will be facing all three members tonight and she doesn’t look surprised.

Velvet says that Angelina looks like a tough person making an open challenge. Velvet says that if they want them, they have an honorary member for one night and it is Daffney.

Daffney hits Angelina from behind with a forearm and then she connects with a forearm as she chokes her and has her in a modified camel clutch. Daffney rubs Angelina’s face in the mat and then she gets her toolbox and decides on a hammer. The referee takes the hammer and then Angelina punches Daffney and that means that Velvet, Lacey, and Madison pull Angelina into the ring post and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: Angelina Love by disqualification

After the match, Angelina is sent into the side of the ramp by Daffney. There is a lot of screeching instructions as Angelina is rolled into the ring.

Tara comes through the crowd and she punches Velvet, Madison, and Lacey. Tara with the Widow’s Peak to Madison. Tara points at Daffney on the ramp.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a ‘What is Wrong with Sting’ video package.

It is time for Hulk Hogan to come to the ring. Hogan wants his damn music stopped. He says that game time is over and he says that he has been around the block a few times. Hogan says that last week was more than a trainwreck. He has been left bleeding next to his partner before. He has felt like being run over by a train before. The one image he cannot get past is hearing Abyss ask ‘Why Sting Why’. Hogan says that he can smell and feel the low class dog and he wants Sting to come out to find out why a man who helped build TNA from the ground up could do what he did last week. Hogan wonders if he doesn’t think he is a big enough star. Hogan tells Sting to be a man and face him in the ring. Sting walks on the catwalk and then he comes down into the Impact Zone. Sting continues to walk and he finally gets to the main staircase that he goes down every appearance. Sting makes his way to the ring as only Sting can, but he is attacked from behind by Rob Van Dam. Van Dam punches Sting and chokes him with his boot. Van Dam with a side kick off the ramp and he sends Sting into the ring post. Van Dam punches Sting and sends him into the ring post again. Van Dam kicks Sting a few more times and Van Dam has the baseball bat and he throws it to Hogan. Sting is sent into the ring and Hogan is about to hit Sting.

Bischoff comes to the ring and he stops Hogan from hitting Sting. Bischoff says that it is not the right thing to do. Bischoff tells Hogan that he is the leader of the company and not a wrestler any more. Bischoff gets security to escort Sting out of the ring. Eric tells Hogan that this is out of control. Eric tells Hogan that he didn’t come here to wrestle. They came to lead the company, not fight the battles in the ring. Eric tells Hogan that he made a promise to his daughter that he was done with it last week. He wants Hogan to be done with it.

Taz and Tenay talk about what just transpired and wonder if Eric is doing the right thing. Hogan hugs his daughter.

We go to the back and Hernandez stops Jarrett and says that he is there for Jeff because Jeff gave him his first shot. Bischoff hears that and stops the party. Eric tells Jeff that his days of making matches are over. Eric says that Hernandez will be in a handicap match against Storm and Roode tonight. Jeff tells Eric not to take his frustrations out on Hernandez because it is between the two of them. Eric tells Jeff that since he wants to get into the ring, he will be a referee, just like when he broke into the business. Eric tells Jeff that if he screws up just a little bit, he is done. The only way that Jeff gets in the ring is if he puts it up or breaks it down on the road. He reminds Jeff to call it right down the middle.

We go to commercial.

Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are walking in the back.

Match Number Four: Kevin Nash versus Scott Hall in a $25,000 Challenge

Hall is already in the ring and he waits for Nash to get into the ring. Nash gives the referee the money as the match starts. Hall takes his time before locking up and he throws his toothpick at Nash. Nash with a knee and elbow followed by a punch. Nash with a forearm to the kidneys and then he does it again. Hall with a punch on the third attempt. Hall with more punches and then he wrings the arm and works on the shoulder. Nash with a short arm clothesline. Nash with knees in the corner followed by elbows and then he frames one up but Waltman comes into the ring and clips Nash. Waltman has handcuffs and cuffs him to the ropes. Waltman and Hall punch Nash but Eric Young comes to the ring and Hall and Waltman take control of the situation. Hall with a punch and Waltman with an X Factor. Hall and Waltman take the money and they have music.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Jeremy Borash is with James Storm and Robert Roode and Roode says that all they wanted was an opportunity to show Hogan and Bischoff what they are about because they have been pushed aside like a couple of nobodies. Roode asks if that is the way to treat the greatest tag team in the world, because the answer is not just no, but hell no. Storm says that Bischoff gave them the opportunity to whip someone’s ass and last week it was the founder Jeff Jarrett. This week, they have an opportunity against Hernandez. Storm says that they are sick of being the nice guys and caring about the fans.

Match Number Five: James Storm and Robert Roode versus Hernandez with Guest Referee Jeff Jarrett

Storm and Roode attack Hernandez as he comes into the ring and they continue to double team Hernandez. Storm chops Hernandez and Roode chokes him.

Matt Morgan comes to the ring to join his tag team partner, but he turns around and goes to the announce table. Roode with a reverse atomic drop followed by a side Russian leg sweep by Storm. Roode gets a near fall and then Storm chokes Hernandez. Roode chokes Hernandez in the ropes and Storm with a splash into the ropes. Roode and Storm punch Hernandez and he goes down again. Roode slaps Hernandez in the head and Storm kicks him. Hernandez with a double clothesline to Storm and Roode but Roode with punches and then he runs into a shoulder tackle by Hernandez. Hernandez with a splash to Storm. Roode with a cross body and Hernandez catches him. Hernandez blocks a double suplex and counters with a double suplex of his own. Hernandez with a kick to Roode and then he tries for the Border Toss but Storm with a super kick and Storm and Roode hit the DWI and get the three count.
Winners: James Storm and Robert Roode

After the match, Storm and Roode demand that Jarrett raise his hands since they won the match and Jarrett is a good employee/founder.

Storm and Roode attack Hernandez and Jarrett holds them off but there is only one Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is pushed down and he has had enough so the referee shirt comes off and he joins the skins. Jarrett punches Storm and Roode. Jarrett sends Storm and Roode into each other and then Hernandez with a slingshot double shoulder and Storm and Roode leave the ring.

Eric Bischoff is walking in the back with his tribute to Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake and the Narcissist. We go to commercial.

We are back and Eric Bischoff is in the ring with his barber chair. He tells Jeff Jarrett that he will deal with him next week. Eric says that he is going to change the look of the company, especially Mick Foley. They have been trying to make something of Foley but it is impossible. It is time to clean up Mick Foley once and for all.

Foley comes to the ring for TNA’s contribution to Shear Genius. Eric tells Foley to sit down and Foley obliges Eric. Foley has his hand in his pocket and before Bischoff can start clipping, Foley brings out Mr. Socko and he applies the Mandible Claw and Bischoff passes out. Foley has the clippers and it is time to take a little of the top of Bischoff. Foley wakes up Bischoff and he has a Hogan starter cut.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to take a look back at the Sweeney Todd moment of the night.

Christy Hemme is in the back with Shannon Moore to talk about the match on Sunday. Shannon says that the X Division will be spotlighted more than ever on Sunday. Shannon says that he has been studying from the Book of Dillygaf. He says that he has made a promise to his people that he will be the new X Division Champion. He welcomes Doug Williams to Glam Rock.

The Elimination X apparatus is up and the Machine Guns are in the ring. Sabin says that Sunday will be a night to remember. It is not only the return of the Ultimate X match with the winners becoming the Number One Contenders to the Tag Titles, but Destination X will be known as the start of the Rise of the Machine Guns. Sabin tells Generation Me that it starts with them. Sabin wants to know who they are to come into their company and try to compete with them. He says that it can’t be done. He wants to know what they have done to earn a spot in this match. He wonders what dues they have paid and who they have beaten.

Generation Me comes out and Max points out that they beat this team known as the Motor City Machine Guns in their debut match. Shelley says that they remember that but there is a thing called luck. Anyone can win a match. Shelley calls them good, but says that they aren’t great. Shelley says that they are great. He says that they are the Xbox to their Atari. They are the station wagon to their Ferraris. Shelley starts to talk about Generation Me’s girlfriends and they start to fight.

Brian Kendrick comes out and he goes after Generation Me. Amazing Red goes after Kendrick and hits a cross body. Daniels comes out and he goes after Red. Daniels and Kendrick go after Red. Kazarian brings a ladder to the ring and he throws it at Daniels. Shelley and Sabin work over Kazarian and then Generation Me take care of the Machine Guns. Shelley and Sabin are sent into one of the towers and then they climb the towers and land on the Machine Guns. Kendrick and Daniels miss with a ladder shot to Red. Kazarian throws Daniels out of the ring while Red takes care of Kendrick. Red climbs the ladder and he hits flip dive onto the Machine Guns, Daniels, and Kendrick.

Jeremy Borash is with the man with the ring who is the guest enforcer. Destination X will be when he gets his hands on A.J. Styles. Styles and Flair have been trying to take his ring from him. Abyss says that for the first time in his life, someone is jealous of him. Abyss says that they can’t have it because it is his time to start taking. Abyss says that it starts when he takes A.J.’s title. Abyss says that he hopes Flair gets involved tonight because he will show Flair what it is like to come face to face with the Monster of the Ring. Abyss wants to know what they are going to do when the monster runs wild and crazy on them.

We go to commercial.

We are back for a bit to see Jeff Hardy bouncing in his locker room

Match Number Six: Jeff Hardy versus A.J. Styles with Special Enforcer Abyss [and his WWE Hall of Fame Decoder Ring]

Styles kicks and punches Hardy and chops him a few times. Styles with an Irish whip and he runs into boots from Hardy. Hardy with a clothesline and slam before going to the turnbuckles for a vintage screaming leg drop for a near fall. Hardy with a reverse chin lock. Styles backs Hardy into the corner and he kicks and punches Hardy before chopping him a few times. Hardy with chops of his own and then he sends Styles into the corner. Styles sends Hardy to the floor and Flair wants to do something but Abyss does his job as special enforcer. Flair throws his jacket at Abyss and then backs away. Styles was going to go to the floor, but then he remembered that he is a heel and doesn’t do it. Styles kicks Hardy as he gets back into the ring. Styles with an elbow to the neck followed by a Phenomenal drop kick for a near fall. Styles works on the leg to set up for the figure four and then he drops onto the leg. Styles tries one too many times and Hardy kicks Styles over the top rope to the ramp. Styles drops Hardy on the top rope. Styles with a rear chin lock. Hardy with elbows followed by a short arm flying clothesline and gets a near fall. Hardy with a running forearm and then he hits the sit out gourdbuster and hits the hesitation baseball slide for a near fall. Hardy with an Irish whip but Styles with an elbow and chop. Styles with an elbow to the head and then he hits a brainbuster on Hardy for a near fall. Styles tries to use the turnbuckles but Hardy blocks it and hits Whisper in the Wind and gets a near fall. Hardy sets for the Twist of Fate but Styles escapes and hits the Pele kick and both men are down. Styles waits for Hardy to get up but Hardy sends Styles to the apron and Styles takes Hardy and the referee down with a springboard cross body. Styles goes to the floor and he takes a chair from ringside. Abyss tells Styles that is a no no. Styles tries for a springboard 450 but Hardy moves and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate followed by a Swanton and hits it. Abyss makes the three count.
Winner: Jeff Hardy

After the match, Flair hits Abyss with the chair. They go to the ramp and Abyss is using the power of the ring and Abyss finally does the finger point of doom after punching the chair out of Flair’s hands. Abyss with a choke slam that causes the ramp to break.

We go to credits.

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