We are live on tape from Memphis, Tennessee and your announcers are Josh ‘Ned Ryerson’ Mathews and Byron ‘WRESTLEMANIA Tickets . . . Thanks Mr. Connors’ Saxton.
It is that time of the show when you wonder why you are watching ECW. Tony Atlas brings out the man who makes Chevy Chase a good host, Abraham Washington. Abe’s guest tonight is Christian.
Abe welcomes everyone to his show and the people of Memphis have confused applause for booing. Abe talks about the rumors for his recent absence and says that NBC has been asking him to replace Conan O’Brien. Abe says he turned it down and asks Tony why and Tony tells the truth and says that Abe isn’t that good. Abe turned it down because of the WWE Universe. Abe says that he is loyal as well as entertaining. Tony asks Abe to be funny.
Abe brings out the current ECW Champion Christian and he takes his spot at the couch. Abe congratulates Christian on his victory over Ezekiel Jackson. Abe tells Christian that he is the longest running champion in the WWE at this time. Christian likes being told about that stat. He says that he is proud of being the ECW champion and he is proud that he has defeated all challengers.
We are interrupted by the man who would be the king of Bayside, Zack Ryder who is accompanied by Rosa Mendes in her best Jennifer Lopez outfit. Zack Ryder wants to talk about the biggest news of the week. We see the mugshot of Gregory Helms and then he talks about Helms’ recent arrest. Zack wants everyone to refer to him as the Heart and Soul Superhero of ECW. Christian asks Zack if he is jealous of Helms for making it on TMZ. Christian says that Zack is jealous of Helms because they are both on television, but Helms gets recognized. Zack mentions that he was in the Royal Rumble and Christian says that he blinked and missed it. Christian says that Helms made a mistake. Christian says that Tiffany made a mistake by giving Abe a talk show. Christian says that he made a mistake by coming on Abe’s talk show. Christian says that Zack made a mistake today thinking that his hair looked cool and then he made a bigger mistake hooking up with Tila Tequila. Zack pushes Christian but Christian pushes Zack back and we are out of time.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a look at last week’s sneak attack on Shelton Benjamin by Vance Archer.
Match Number One: Shelton Benjamin versus Vance Archer
Archer with a shoulder as Benjamin charges at him. Benjamin with punches and kicks but the referee pulls him out of the corner. Benjamin with another punch and Archer goes to the floor but Benjamin with a plancha onto Archer and then he punches Archer in front of the announce table. Archer kicks Benjamin as Shelton returns to the ring and he follows that with a forearm and side head lock. Archer with another side head lock but Benjamin with a belly-to-back suplex and a clothesline to the back of the head as Archer goes to the floor. Benjamin misses a splash from the apron and he hits the ringside barrier as we go to commercial.
We are back and Archer with an arm bar on Benjamin. We see footage from the commercial when Archer sent Benjamin into the ring steps to gain control of the match. We return to the action in the ring and Archer with a hard Irish whip. Archer stands on Benjamin’s chest and then kicks him. Archer with a suplex and then he gets a near fall on Shelton. Archer returns to the arm bar. Archer with a side slam for another near fall. Archer with a kick and he returns to the arm bar. Shelton with a kick to the head to get out of the hold. Archer with a kick and Irish whip but he misses a running knee into the corner and Benjamin clips him. Benjamin with a running thrust to the throat and then he works on the leg some more. Benjamin tries for the Stinger splash but he hits Archer’s elbow. Archer tries for a suplex but Benjamin lands on his feet and he hits a neck breaker for a near fall. Benjamin punches Archer and then he tries for a sunset flip out of the corner but Archer drops down but he has the ropes and the referee has him release the hold. Archer with a cover with his feet on the ropes to get the three count.
Winner: Vance Archer
It is time for the Raw Rebound.
We are told by Josh that we will see the footage of what happened after Raw went off the air.
We go to commercial.
We are back and did you know that the Did You Know Random Fact Generator is stuck on the one from last night?
Match Number Two: Yoshi Tatsu with Goldust versus Trent Barreta with Caylen Croft
Yoshi jumps around before they lock up and Yoshi works on the arm and puts Trent in an arm bar. Yoshi with a drop kick to Barreta followed by an arm drag into an arm bar. Yoshi is thrown out of the ring but he comes back in and he kicks Yoshi. Trent with a forearm followed by a kick to the head and a slap to the face. Trent with a knee to the head and then he hits a European uppercut and chokes Yoshi in the corner. Trent with a standing drop kick. Trent with a reverse chin lock on Yoshi. Yoshi gets to his feet and backs Trent into the turnbuckles. Trent with a boot to Yoshi but Yoshi with a back body drop. Yoshi with kicks to the midsection followed by the flying double knees. Yoshi tries for the rolling mare but Trent blocks it. Yoshi eventually hits it and kicks Trent in the chest. Yoshi goes up top but Trent stops him and tries for a superplex. Yoshi pushes Trent off but Trent with a rana and a near fall. Trent argues with the referee about the count and then he turns around into the round house kick and gets the three count.
Winner: Yoshi Tatsu
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time for Vince McMahon to give his State of ECW Address.
He says that in 3 weeks, ECW will be going off the air. He thanks everyone behind the scenes and the superstars for making ECW the success it was. He says that there will be a new program once ECW goes off the air. Vince says that it is the next Evolution of the WWE. Vince thanks everyone.
Gregory Helms is in the ring and he brings out Ezekiel Jackson who is accompanied by William Regal.
Helms asks Zeke if he is disappointed about his loss on Sunday and he wants to know how Zeke will move on. Regal asks Helms if it has been a trying week for him. Helms says that he will get past it and he is going to do his job. Regal tells Helms that his week is going to get worse. Jackson punches Helms and then Regal joins in. Jackson with a uranage to Helms and then he holds Helms for a running knee to the head by Regal.
Christian comes to the ring with a kendo stick and he hits Jackson with it. Jackson and Regal leave the ring.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three: Christian versus Zack Ryder with Rosa Mendes
They lock up and Ryder with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. They lock up again and Ryder with another side head lock but Christian with a shoulder tackle and cover. Ryder goes into the ropes to stop Christian. Ryder with a kick and forearm to the back followed by a kick and forearms. Ryder chokes Christian in the ropes followed by a forearm. Ryder with a forearm to the back but Christian with a spinning heel kick. Ryder goes to the apron and Christian runs into a shoulder from Ryder. Ryder tries to suplex Christian to the floor but Christian blocks it and he pulls Ryder onto the apron and then Christian with a hesitation drop kick that sends Ryder into the announce table. They return to the ring and Christian goes to the turnbuckles and he is caught by Ryder who catapults him into the bottom rope. Ryder punches Christian and the referee warns him. Ryder with a near fall on Christian and then he puts Christian in a reverse chin lock. Ryder with a leaping leg lariat for a near fall. Christian goes up top but Ryder punches him and tries for a superplex but Christian pushes him off. Christian with a cross body for a two count. Christian with a running forearm but he runs into an elbow. Ryder goes to the turnbuckles and Christian catches him and hits a flapjack. Christian leaps onto Ryder’s back and chokes him in the ropes. Christian goes to the floor and he punches Ryder. Christian goes up top and hits a missile drop kick and gets a near fall. Christian goes to the turnbuckles for a springboard sunset flip but Ryder drops down and gets a near fall. Ryder misses a charge into the corner and Christian with a pendulum kick followed by a back elbow from the turnbuckles. Christian sets for the Killswitch and he hits it. Ezekiel Jackson comes to the ring with William Regal and the referee calls for the bell.
After the match, Regal with a knee to the head and then Jackson sends Christian into the ring steps.