ECW on SyFy Report – Dec. 15th, 2009

ECW on SyFy Report – December 15th, 2009
Report by Richard Trionfo,

We start off with a look at the special guest sports entertainer on tonight’s show and it is Kane. He says that he is back. Shame it isn’t May 19th.

We are live on tape from Laredo, Texas and your announcers are Josh ‘Not Striker’ Mathews and Byron ‘Also Not Striker’ Saxton.

Tiffany is in the ring and she is smiling like she has something to be proud of. She says that the TLC pay per view was a must see event from top to bottom and she says that she is proud of one of the matches. She brings out Shelton Benjamin and he limps to the ring while showing the effects of that match. She also brings out the man who won the ladder match, Christian.

They shake hands before Tiffany says anything. She says that their match was awesome and they represented ECW to its fullest and stole the show. She thanks both of them for their performance.

Shelton thanks the fans because they inspired him and to make ECW what it is today. Shelton says that he did not know if he was going to shake Christian’s hand or punch him, but Sunday was one of the proudest moments of his career. Shelton says that he wants a rematch.

Tiffany says that Shelton can get that opportunity, but instead, William Regal comes out with the most miserable couple without a show on TLC or a golf career. Regal wants to know what is wrong with Tiffany’s voice because it sounds like a goose blowing a kazoo. Regal tells Shelton to stop thinking about himself because there is something more important and that is Kane.

Tiffany says that she was about to explain everything but Regal cuts her off again and she calls Kane a monster and a menace. Regal wants to know if Tiffany is okay in the head by allowing Kane back on the show. Tiffany points out that Kane is a former ECW champion and Kane is one of many former ECW champions to face the current ECW roster. She is calling it the ‘ECW Homecoming’. The winner gets a match against Christian at the Royal Rumble. Tonight Zack Ryder will face Kane. Vladimir Kozlov will face Ezekiel Jackson.

The Ripper and the Ripperette are walking in the back while they adjust their masks for the commercial.

We are back and we see footage from two weeks ago when the Ripper made his mysterious debut.

Match Number One: Hurricane versus The Ripper with the Nightmare

They lock up and Ripper with a waist lock and he goes for Hurricane’s mask. Hurricane with a side head lock and he tries for a shoulder tackle but Ripper stays on his feet. Hurricane takes Ripper down and goes for the mask. Ripper throws Hurricane to the floor and then hits a drop kick to keep Hurricane on the floor. Ripper drops Hurricane on the ringside barrier. Ripper suplexes Hurricane back into the ring and gets a near fall. Ripper with a chin lock but Hurricane with a cross body for a near fall. Ripper with a running back elbow and then he kicks Hurricane. Ripper continues the attack with a slam and then he goes up top. Hurricane with a punch to the midsection when Ripper comes off the turnbuckles and then Hurricane with a clothesline. Hurricane with a rana for a near fall. Ripper avoids a Shining Wizard and Ripper with a neck breaker for a near fall. Ripper with a European uppercut but he runs into a boot. Hurricane with a tornado DDT and then he goes for the mask and it is taken off to reveal a man who looks a lot like Paul Burchill. Hurricane with a Shining Wizard for the three count.
Winner: The Hurricane

After the match, Hurricane lectures the mask while Paul is shocked what happened.

It is time to take a look back at the three hours that Mike Johnson, Mike Epsenhart, and I do not want to relive and will curse WWE in perpetuity. We have a Raw Brick.

We go to commercial with Josh Mathews telling a lie that the Abraham Washington Show is entertaining.

We are back and Paul Burchill and Katie Lea are walking in the back. Gregory Helms stops them and wants to know how it worked out for Paul. Burchill looks like he is going to cry but he screams instead and storms off. Helms wonders what’s up with that and we see he has the Hurricape on.

It is time for those of you with repressed memories of bad things to come back because it is time for the Abraham Washington Show. Tony welcomes us as he introduces Abe. Abe welcomes everyone and he wants to report a crime because he was robbed of the Breakout Star of the Year. Tony suggests that Abe should have won Diva of the Year after Abe says he should have won multiple awards last night.

Abe brings out his guest, Maria and people cheer for something on the Abraham Washington Show for the first time in its history. Maria brings her trophy and the Slammy. Abe says that it must have been embarrassing last night and we see the Kanye Batista moment. Abe says that he feels Maria’s pain. Maria says that it might have been embarrassing, but at least she won a Slammy. Abe says that he was robbed last night and Maria says that she has seen Abe’s show and Tony jumps in and says the show stinks. Abe insults Tony’s dental hygiene. Maria asks someone if they want to hold her Slammy. Maria tells Abe that she was talking to Tony, not him. Maria says that maybe Abe will be able to hold one when he wins next year and Tony doubts that he will win. Abe says that he voted for Michelle McCool and he was glad Batista interrupted Maria last night and he wants to know if Batista could come out tonight.

We go to commercial with Vladimir Kozlov sweating to the oldies in the locker room with William Regal at his side.

Match Number Two: Vladimir Kozlov With William Regal versus Ezekiel Jackson in a ECW Homecoming Qualifying Match

They get face to face and Jackson pie faces Kozlov. Kozlov with a forearm and kick but Jackson with a forearm and slam of his own. Jackson with another slam and Regal removes his jacket while watching the match. Jackson seeks the approval from Regal but that delay allows Kozlov to hit Jackson from behind and hit elbow drops. Kozlov with head butts to Jackson’s chet. Regal trips Kozlov and then Jackson with an uranage for the three count.
Winner: Ezekiel Jackson

After the match, Jackson and Regal celebrate on the floor. Regal goes back for his jacket and Kozlov grabs Regal. Jackson attacks Kozlov from behind and then Jackson and Regal send Kozlov into the announce table.

We see current FCW Tag Team Champion Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft playing Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 and defeating DX. We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Trent Barreta and Caylen Croft versus Julio Cruz and Jorge Arias

Barreta with a knee and punch but Cruz with a drop kick. Barreta with a clip when Croft distracts Cruz. Barreta works on Cruz’ leg and then he tags in Croft and they double team Cruz before Croft focuses on the leg. Barreta tags in and he hits a running knee to the leg. Cruz with a boot to Barreta and a spin kick but Barreta keeps Cruz from making the tag and he knocks Arias off the apron. Croft tags in and they hit a neck breaker and power bomb combination for the three count.
Winners: Caylen Croft and Trent Barreta

Goldust and Yoshi Tatsu are in the back and Goldust talks about his comments from last night. Goldust congratulates Yoshi on his big Raw victory. Kane shows up and Yoshi says something in Japanese and Kane asks Goldust for a translation. Goldust has no idea and Kane wonders why they call him a freak. Kane walks into commercial.

We are told that next week Jack Swagger faces Yoshi Tatsu in a Qualifying Match (at least Swagger’s ‘I won’t lose in 2009 promise’ is over for Yoshi’s benefit)

Match Number Four: Kane versus Zack Ryder with Rosa Mendes in an ECW Homecoming Qualifying Match

Ryder punches Kane but that was not a smart thing because Kane punches Ryder followed by a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall. Ryder with a boot to Kane but Kane catches Ryder as he comes off the turnbuckles. Kane with a slam but he misses an elbow drop. Ryder with punches to Kane and then he puts Kane in a reverse chin lock. Kane with a belly-to-back suplex followed by a big boot. Kane with an Irish whip and running clothesline followed by a side slam attempt but Ryder escapes the hold. Kane misses a big boot after avoiding the choke slam attempt. Ryder kicks Kane in the leg and then he works on the knee. Ryder chokes Kane in the corner but Kane with a kick and punch. Ryder with a kick to the back of the leg and then he tries to clip Kane but Kane stays on his feet. Kane with a vintage uppercut and punches to Ryder. Ryder with a drop kick to the knee but Kane stays on his feet. Ryder with a leg lariat but he can only get a two count. Ryder tries for another leg lariat but Kane stops him and then Kane with a choke slam for the three count.
Winner: Kane

We go to credits.

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  • Show Comments

  • Randal

    Wow Kane wins against Ryder, no surprises there. Gregory Helms and the Hurricane and also The Ripper and Paul “My WWE career is doomed” Burchill are the same people, also no surprises. ECW is becoming stale and predictable. Hope Kane can win the tournament and the ECW title so then they can move Christian to SD or Raw and get treated like a star again and then Kane can hold the ECW title and regain some momentum until they scrap ECW and move him back to SD and have him main eventing with his mask and a new cool looking outfit like before. That won’t happen but I can always dream.

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