WWE SmackDown Report for 1/2/2009

WWE SmackDown Results
1/2/2009 – Taped in East Rutherford, NJ
Report by Richard Trionfo

We are live on tape from East Rutherford, New Jersey and your announcers are Tazz and Jim ‘Hoffa’ Ross.

Vickie Guerrero comes to the ring and she wishes everyone a Happy New Year. She says that 2008 was really great and 2009 will be really fine. Vickie mentions the Royal Rumble and she says that Jeff Hardy will defend his title against Mr. Vickie Guerrero. She also mentions the Royal Rumble match. The Smackdown superstars in the match will be announced later on the show.

Triple H comes out and he has something to drink and to say. Hunter wishes Vickie a happy new year. Hunter says that it is time for the Royal Rumble again. He says that he cannot wait to hear Vickie say his name, but Vickie tells Hunter that he has to wait. Hunter points out that he is impatient and so are the fans. He suggests that the fans could get unruly and follow her around. Hunter has the fans chant “Triple H” and then he gets them to say ‘Suck it’. Hunter is told that if he misbehaves, he will not be in the Rumble match. Hunter says that if he is not in the Rumble, someone from Smackdown will not win and then Vickie will get embarrassed and fired and fall into obscurity. Hunter brings out the Vickie Guerrero action figure. Hunter says that it has the same vacant look on its face and then Hunter comments on Vickie’s physical appearance. Vickie tells Hunter that he is in the match and then he is told to leave the ring. Hunter says that he has one other thing to deal with. Hunter says that he was playing with the action figure and he comments on the size of the action figure. Hunter says that the action figure is hot and he found some nude photos of Vickie on eBay. Vickie says that she does not know about them. Hunter tells Vickie that the auction is about to end in a few minutes and he mentions that he is outbid by someone using the name ChavoG2009.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Umaga will be back soon.

Match Number One: Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder versus Great Khali and Finlay with Hornswoggle and Runjin Singh
Khali and Hawkins start things off and Hawkins with a forearm to Khali’s chest but Khali blocks a kick and then he brings Ryder into the ring. Khali with a double noggin knocker and then while Finlay was distracting the ref, Hornswoggle with a double noggin knocker. Finlay tags in and he connects with a European uppercut and boots to the hand. Finlay with a slam and a seated splash for a near fall. Finlay with another European uppercut followed by a short arm clothesline. Finlay goes outside and Hawkins tries for a baseball slide but Finlay pulls out the ring apron. Ryder tries to attack Finlay but Finlay with a clothesline. Hawkins with a baseball slide that connects.

They return to the ring and Ryder tags in. Ryder with a snap mare and rear chin lock with his knee in Finlay’s back. Finlay with a knee to Ryder but Ryder sends Finlay into the turnbuckles. Finlay and Ryder bang heads and Ryder goes down and Finlay is staggered. Khali tags in and he chops Ryder. Khali with an elbow to Hawkins and then he sends Hawkins into Ryder and he chops Hawkins. Khali with the vertical choke slam on Ryder for the three count.
Winner: Great Khali and Finlay

After the match, Finlay gives Hawkins the Celtic Cross and Hornswoggle with a frog splash. Then it is time to see some dancing.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Eve is in the interview area with Michelle McCool. Eve asks Michelle about what happened last week and we have footage from the match and the post match activities when Michelle attacked a defenseless referee. Eve asks Michelle if her and Maria are still friends. Michelle says that Maria cost her the title and she got what she deserved. Eve suggests that Michelle apologize to Maria and Michelle tells Eve to mind her own business.

We are in the office and Edge is angry that there are naked pictures of his wife on eBay. Show says that he saw those pictures. Edge reminds Show that it is wife. Show reminds Edge that it is the wife that he hides behind and fights his fights. Show tells Edge that he should be embarrassed. Edge talks about being embarrassed by being knocked out by a flyweight. He tells Show to knock out Jeff Hardy and then try to win the Royal Rumble match.

Match Number Two: Jesse and Festus versus The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson
The bell rings and Festus starts punching people. Festus with a flying shoulder tackle to Jackson and then he sends Kendrick into the corner and connects with a Kane-like uppercut. Festus with a slam and then Jesse is tagged in. Festus slams Jesse onto Kendrick for a near fall. Jesse with a snap mare and he applies an arm bar with a cross face. Jesse with a near fall after a knee to the midsection. Festus tags in and Jesse Irish whips Kendrick into an uppercut. Festus with a seated splash on Kendrick. Kendrick gets his knees up. Festus catches Kendrick, but he wrenches his knee. Kendrick tags in Ezekiel and he clips Festus and kicks him in the hamstring. Kendrick tags back in and he goes up top and connects with a boot to the leg. Kendrick with more kicks to the knee. Festus tosses Kendrick away to tag in Jesse. Jesse with a series of running thrusts to Kendrick followed by a reverse atomic drop and running forearm. Jesse with an Irish whip and running clotheslines. Jesse with clotheslines in the corner and hits a snap fisherman’s suplex but Ezekiel breaks up the cover. Festus reinjures his leg. Jesse hits a belly-to-back suplex but Ezekiel tagged in and hits the uranage for the three count.
Winners: The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Vladimir Kozlov versus Hurricane Helms
Helms with a kick to Kozlov’s leg but Kozlov blocks the next attempt. Kozlov with a hip lock take down into a key lock. Kozlov with knees and then he sends Helms into the corner but Kozlov charges into an elbow. Kozlov with head butts to Helms and then he sends Helms into the turnbuckles. Kozlov with shoulders in the corner. Kozlov throws Helms across the ring and he returns to the key lock. Helms with knees but Kozlov with knees and a forearm. Kozlov puts Helms on his shoulders and then he puts Helms on the turnbuckles and kicks Helms in the chest. Kozlov with a fallaway slam. Helms with a series of kicks to Kozlov and he gets Kozlov to his knees. Helms charges at Kozlov but Kozlov with a head butt followed by a spinebuster for the three count.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to find out who is in the Royal Rumble. Jim Ross is in the ring to make the announcement. Jim Ross tells us that the man who is not ducked and boosted over the top rope will win the match and go to the main event of Wrestlemania and point to the sign. Triple H, Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov, and Shelton Benjamin are announced.

Shelton Benjamin comes out and he wants to interject. He wants to know what is wrong with Jim Ross. He is not to be introduced as a participant, he should be announced as the odds-on favorite to win the Royal Rumble. Shelton tells Jim that he should take his leave from the ring. Shelton says that he has been the United States Champion for six months and he will leave Wrestlemania as the World Champion. He is the Gold Standard for a reason. Nobody in the Royal Rumble can compare to him. He does not care if it is Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Fit Finlay, or R-Truth because there is no one who compares.

There is a voice from the TitanTron and the Undertaker’s bell rings and he is in the ring after the lights go out and back on. Taker with a choke slam and then he poses. I guess Taker is in the Rumble match. We go to commercial.

We are back and Kizarny is tizalking and he will be there tonight.

Michelle McCool comes to the ring and she says that a friend of hers brought something to her attention and she was right. Michelle says that she owes Maria an apology and it is because of what Michelle did. Michelle tells Maria to accept her apology. Michelle says that there is someone else that she needs to apologize to. She asks Eve to come out. Michelle says that she feels horrible for taking it out on Eve earlier because it is not cool. Eve accepts Michelle’s apology and they hug. Eve leaves the ring and then when Eve talks to some fans at ringside, the Sting transformation is complete as Michelle attacks Eve. Michelle sends Eve into the ring post and then she goes to the back while the referees check on Eve.

Vickie is in the office with Chavo and she likes his idea. Vickie cannot believe the pictures are out there. Chavo says that he has not seen them. Hunter enters the office. Vickie tells Hunter that she demands an apology. Hunter says that Vickie should be apologizing for having nude photos on the internet. Vickie says that Hunter will be in three matches next week, a Tables Match, a Handicap Match, and a Last Man Standing Match. Chavo calls it Triple Jeopardy and Vickie likes it. We go to commercial.

We are back and Montel Vontavious Porter is in the ring. He says to bring out who he has to wrestle so he can get it over with.

Match Number Fizour: Montel Vontavious Porter versus Kizarny
The bell rings and Kizarny goes for the leg. Kizarny with a back slide for a near fall. He follows that with Japanese arm drags and a slam and a leg drop. Kizarny with a baseball slide that sends Porter to the floor and then Kizarny with a suicide dive. They return to the ring and Kizarny with a near fall. Kizarny with a cross body from the second rope for a near fall. Porter with a shoulder to the ribs and then he rolls Kizarny under the bottom rope to the floor. Porter hot shots Kizarny on the ringside barrier and then he gets a near fall. Porter with punches to Kizarny and then he hits an elbow drop. Porter with a waist lock on Kizarny. Porter with a low kick and then he connects with knees to the midsection. Porter tosses Kizarny into the mat and he connects with a knee drop for a near fall. Kizarny punches Porter but Porter with an overhead belly-to-belly throw. Kizarny with a jawbreaker and a drop kick to the knee. Kizarny with a drop kick and then he slams Porter’s head into the turnbuckles. Porter with a facebuster and then he sets for the Playmaker but Kizarny counters and hits a double underhook DDT for the three count.
Winner: Kizarny

After the match, Ken Kennedy comes out and he reminds Porter that he got whooped. It is time for a plug for Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Jim Ross and Tazz talk about next week’s Triple Jeopardy match. We also see the tag titles get defended next week as The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson face Carlito and Primo.

Before our main event, Edge has something to say. He says naked pictures or not, you will respect his wife. He says that you will also respect him because he will be the WWE Champion for a seventh time after the Royal Rumble. Instead of respecting him, everyone will blame him because everything is his fault. He says that people thought he was taking advantage of a poor defenseless woman, but he is still in love with Vickie. Then they blamed him for taking out Jeff Hardy the night before the Survivor Series. That is despite the fact that Jeff is a screw up. When the embarrassing, juvenile, and irrational period known as the Jeff Hardy era as champion comes to an end, then blame him.

Match Number Five: Edge and Big Show versus Matt and Jeff Hardy
Matt and Edge start things off and they lock up and Matt with an arm drag. They lock up again and Edge backs Matt into the corner. Edge misses a punch and Matt with another arm drag. They lock up one more time and Matt with an arm bar into a hammer lock. Edge with a side head lock but Matt with a belly-to-back suplex and Jeff is tagged in. The Hardys double team Edge and then they hit a double drop kick to knock Show off the apron. Edge is sent over the top rope and he is caught by Show. We go to commercial.

We are back and Edge punches Jeff and chokes him in the ropes. We see footage during the break of Big Show attacking Jeff from the apron. Jeff with Whisper in the Wind for a near fall. Matt tags in and slams Edge. Matt goes up top for the moonsault but Edge moves. Show tags in and he chops Matt in the corner followed by a head butt. Show with a suplex to Matt and he gets a near fall. Show sends Matt into the corner to tag in Edge. Edge punches Matt but Matt punches back. Edge puts Matt in the ropes and he hits a splash into Matt’s back. Edge with an arm bar. Edge with a knee to the midsection and Show is tagged back in. Show works on Matt’s arm and then he chops Matt as he keeps Matt away from his brother. Show with chops and punches in the corner followed by a head butt before Edge takes over and gets the near fall. Edge with a front face lock as he keeps Matt from making the tag. Edge with a sunset flip and Matt almost makes the tag. Edge with a clothesline to Matt and he returns to the arm bar. Matt punches Edge but Edge with a big boot to Matt.

Show leaves the ring and Edge wonders what is going on. Matt punches Edge but Edge with a knee. Matt tries for the Twist of Fate but Edge counters with a breakdown for a near fall. Edge sets for the Spear but he charges into a boot and Matt with a Side Effect and both men are down. Jeff tags in and he punches Edge and hits a running forearm and reverse atomic drop and double leg drop and drop kick for a near fall. Matt is tagged in and the Hardys hit Poetry in Motion and then Matt with a bulldog. Matt hits the Twist of Fate and Jeff is tagged in for the Swanton and the three count.
Winners: Matt and Jeff Hardy

We go to credits.