Backstage Chavo is with Vickie and Vickie wants to know what the Undertaker told him. Chavo is nervous and describes how the Undertaker choke him but eventually let go because he wanted Chavo to be a messenger and tell Vickie that he is coming for her this week. Vickie send Chavo to get the Big Show. Jeff Hardy appears and asks for Kozlov, but Vickie tells him that just like she told Triple H earlier, it’s not going to happen and that they need to get ready for the tag match. Jeff exits and Big Show and Chavo enter. Chavo is still nervous but Show puts his arm around Vickie and they seem confident.
1. Triple H and Jeff Hardy beat MVP and THE Brian Kendrick w/ Ezekiel Jackson. Early on they tried to play on the “can Hardy and HHH work as a team” deal, but that was never really a factor in the match. Hardy started against MVP and he (Hardy) and HHH proceeded make a few quick tags in and out. MVP tags out but Hardy gets the jump on Kendrick. Hardy goes for the tip up dropkick in the corner but Kendrick bails to the floor. Hardy follows but ‘Zeke distracts him. As Hardy gets back in the ring Kendrick catches him with a kick to gain control.
MVP and Kendrick make a tags but they have some communication problems and that allows Hardy to make the tag to HHH. Helmsley comes in and cleans house and clotheslines Kendrick over the top rope and then Hardy and HHH toss MVP out as we go to a break. Out of the break, the heel have gained control. We are shown a replay of Zeke distracting HHH on the outside and Kendrick hitting a baseball slide dropkick on him during the commercial that led to that advantage. Kendrick tried to wear down The Game, but misses a reverse crossbody off the middle rope that allows HHH to tag Hardy back in. Hardy come in fast hitting a hooking/leaping lariat, a sit out gordbuster and the Twist of Fate before going to the top rope.
Ezekiel grabs Hardy’s foot and Jeff gets crotched and crashes to the mat. Kendrick covers for a 2 count. MVP comes in and hits a series of knees and drops Hardy for another 2 count. The heels start quick tagging and Kendrick comes off the top with a double stomp on to Hardy. The crowd starts to chant “Let’s Go Hardy” but Kendrick catches Jeff with a nice low running drop kick and then applies a camel clutch.
Tazz and JR explain that Hardy’s resilience has to make Triple H wonder what he’ll have to do to put Hardy down (very good, yet subtle job of work there by the announcers). MVP comes in and applies a seated abdominal stretch, Hardy fights out but MVP tags Kendrick back in. Hardy finally comes to life hitting the Whisper in the Wind on Kendrick allowing for the double tag as HHH and MVP come in. HHH is a house of fire (or is it “House on fire?” I never know) and has MVP really.
Kendrick tries to intervene but Hardy takes him out with a Cactus clothesline over the top. MVP sets up for the Drive-By Kick but HHH moves, gets to his feet…kick to the gut…pedigree…1…2…3.
After the match, Hardy takes the title belt from the time keeper and hands it to HHH and they shake hands… A video package on The Great Khali is shown… [C]
Back from commercial JR and Tazz take a moment to thank Les Moonves and the CW Network for their years on the network… WWE 24/7 moment. March 13, 1992 from MSG with Flair/Sid vs. Hogan/Piper…
Shelton Benjamin comes out wearing a white buttoned down shirt, jeans and sneakers (there’s a point to mentioning this) to talk about how he’s the “Gold Standard.” Same deal he does every week. He says he is in a class above the rest in and out of the ring, but some in the WWE have no standards…like R-Truth. He says Truth is a joke and just smoke and mirrors, but what he really is, “is street urchin.”
Truth’s music hits and he comes through the crowd as usual doing his deal. Shelton looks an amused. Truth gets in the ring and yells at Shelton into a mic, “What’s Up?” So there we have two black men in the ring, both with white shirts, blue jeans and white sneakers…great job wardrobe. I mean, if they’re trying to say that Shelton is putting on a front to think he’s above another “black athlete” in the WWE yet ironically they really aren’t that different, I get it.
But most viewers don’t put half the amount of thought I just did into that. They just see two guys who kind of look similar. Anyways, Shelton just drops his mic after the “What’s Up” and slowly makes his way out of the ring and up the ramp. Truth does some more smiling and dancing and Shelton, for the first time I have ever seen, used something other than his athletic ability to get over. He looked back at Truth with a real look of anger and disdain, that to me, got over more than any of these lame “Gold Standard” promos have… Maria and Brie Bella are shown walking “to the ring” backstage. [C]
2. Maria and Brie Bella beat Victoria and Natalya. Basics Smackdown Diva match with Victoria and Natalya dominating with strength while the nice girls tried to use quickness to get away. Ross described a move by Maria being “a great athletic move” aka “it looked like crap, but you at home probably can’t do it.”
After getting knocked off the top rope to the floor, Brie went under the ring and (Nicole) Bella came from the other side. It was intentionally timed so you could see the legs of Brie while her sister was coming out from the other side. Bella got back in the ring and hit an X-Factor (sadly no Uncle Cracker theme music was used) but only got a 2 count. Bella tagged Maria in who came off the top with an ugly cross body for the pin. A Vladimir Kozlov video package is shown… [C]
3. Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh). Kozlov trapped Khali’s arms and hit a few heatbutts to the massive chest of the giant. Khali came back with the big head chop and sent Kozlov outside the ring. Khali follow but missed a clothesline and hit the post. As Kozlov gather himself and got back in the ring, Triple H’s music played and The Game made his way to the ring. When HHH got in the ring Kozlov stepped out.
Eventually Khali would attempt to jump HHH but the Helmsley was on the the sneak attack. Kozlov came back in and helped Khali double team HHH till Jeff Hardy made the save. Hardy was quickly stopped by the head chop from Khali and the double team resumed. HHH retrieved the sledge hammer from under the ring and chased Kozlov off. Khali was too slow to bail and took a few shots to the gut with the sledge hammer. Hardy and HHH stood in the ring inviting Kozlov, but Kozlov pointed to the sledge hammer and said, “nyet.” Triple H gave him a crotch crop. [C]
We see a few Ohio State Buckeye football players in the crowd. Unlike Brian Kendrick, I will not use the word “The” before their name… Ross and Tazz run down the No Mercy card… Vickie, Chavo and Big Show are still in Vickie’s office. Chavo is concerned about the Undertake but Show gets up in Chavo’s face asking him what his last name is (Chavo’s, not Show’s) and if he’s going to bail on his family.. Vickie tells Chavo he has a match next… [C]
4. Chavo Guerrero beat Jimmy Wang Yang. While Chavo was on his way to the ring, a small circle with Gregory Helms popped up telling Chavo that the Undertaker was after him and he should go home. Okay. Not much of a match here, Chavo spent the time selling that he was worried that the Undertaker was coming after him. Yang would hit some offense while Chavo would get distracted by his fear, but in the end, Chavo got the pin after a rolling Liger kick. The lights flicked off and then back on and Chavo didn’t know wether to run or not… [C]
5. Carlito and Primo Colon defeated Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder to win the WWE Tag Titles. They showed footage of last week’s Carlito’s Cabana where Jesse, Festus and the tag champs got into it along with Primo and Carlito. Primo and Hawkins started out and Primo caught Curt with a quick headscissors before tagging out to Carly. Carltio quickly tagged promo back in and hit a tilt-a-whirl slam on his brother on to Hawkins. Carltio came back in a Tazz talked about how Carlito is known to be smooth.
Carltio eventually fell prey to the dreaded Smackdown ring post and the tag champs went to work on his left arm. Ryder comes in and takes Carltio down with a hammerlock. Hawkins tags back in and nails three kicks to Carltio’s back followed by a rolling necksnap the applies a cross arm-breaker. After a few teases for the hot tag, Carltio does a “Ricky Morton roll” and makes the tag to Primo who comes in taking out Hawkins in Ryder with some fasted paced offense.
Primo hits a missile drop kick off the top rope on Ryder for a two count. Ryder comes back quickly with a school boy from behind while holding the tights. Primo makes a blind tag to Carlito who, unbeknownst to Ryder sneaks in and hits the backstabber and gets the 3 count for the win and the tag team titles. As the Colon Brothers celebrate, we see the My Moving Company Van back up from beside the stage…
Quick cut to Vickie’s office where Chavo is scared the Undertaker is coming for him. Chavo asks what they’re going to do and Show says, “We’re going to smoke him out.” Big Show does kind of always look stoned. Anyways, Vickie does some bad acting and says that they are going to the ring and Chavo can join them or stay in the office…alone… [C]
During the break Jesse and Festus moved some random stuff and we get to see Kenny Dykstra and Ryan Braddock both still tied up. Dykstra has been tied in the same bubble wrap for two weeks? All kinds of disgusting questions to ponder there…
Vince rarely turns down a chance to make bathroom humor. After a short delay, Show, Vickie and Chavo make their way to the ring. Vickie does her “Excuse me” line a few times and then completely shit’s the bed on her promo. She speaks mono-syllabically as she says the line “All-of-us-are-wai-ting-for-you” and then she states that the Undertaker told her that he “swore he would never take her soul.” Huh? Then why the beef? She then says, the Undertaker “took nothing.” So he lived up to his promise? Vickie stinks. We get a long video of the evolution of the Show/Vickie relationship and the beat down at Unforgiven.
Show says Taker isn’t going to come save the day because he beat him and ended the myth of the Undertaker. Bell tolls twice…
Chavo is gone. We then see Taker choking Chavo out in Vickie’s office, apparently “live.” Vickie sends Show to get Taker, but the feed cuts out after Show leaves. Tazz says he wants to get a word with Vickie, who is left in the ring alone. As Tazz makes it to the second ring step, the bell tolls again, lights go out and then back on.
Undertaker is behind Vickie. Taker grabs her by the throat and makes some evil faces at her. Eventually he picks her up and tombstones Ms. Guerrero. Taker poses over Vickie as the show ends.